


It's About Family

by obviouslyelementary



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Adults, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Cheating, Creativitwins, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Family, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Romance, Single Parent Morality | Patton Sanders, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 58,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24198928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: Patton Sanders is a single dad who has everything he ever wished for: a cozy house, money to pay rent, a stable job at a toy store, and the most amazing son in the entire world! The only thing he does not have is romance, but in all honesty, he isn't really worried about it. It will happen when he least expects it to!And while it doesn't, he has plenty of friends to receive that love he has to give!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 138
Kudos: 156





	1. Mondays

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to update this as frequenly as I can, and not all chapters will be on Patton's POV, but oh well! Enjoy!

If you asked Patton what he thought about his life, he would probably say something in the lines of "I LOVE IT!". He was an optimistic guy, and he had everything he had ever wished for: he had a small, cozy house that he could actually pay the rent of; he had a job he didn't love but enjoyed, working at a toy store at the nearby mall; he had friends who he could count with, and always had his back; and most important of all, he had an amazing son that was the light of his life, little Thomas, the sweetest, kindest boy he had ever seen in the whole wide world. Thomas was Patton's life, he did everything and anything for him, and he loved him so, so much. They were best friends, and being a single father, it sure helped bringing him close to his kid.

But now Thomas was entering high school. A time that hadn't been so kind to Patton, one he feared quite a lot when he remembered it, and most important, a time where classes, friends and work usually filled up the teenagers times. So yes, Patton was going through the empty nest phase before his nest was even empty, but he didn't let that show because he knew that if he did, Thomas would let go of everything to be with him, and he didn't want to hinder his son's growth just for his own selfish reasons.

So yes, Patton had everything he had ever wanted. He was a great life, great friends and a great kid. What was missing?

Oh yeah... _romance_.

Patton... wasn't very good at that. He had had his fair share of boyfriends before, sure, but they never seemed to work out and worst, Patton always left the relationship feeling horrible. Some of his friends even insisted he had been through some heavily abusive relationships, but he didn't see it. No, to him, he was just not fit for it. So well, he wouldn't think about it too much. If it was meant to be, it would be, and that was final.

So that was how he lived his life: for his work, his friends, and most of all for his son. He loved his life, he really did, and even though he felt like something was missing (someone to hold him at night, to make him feel warm and happy during the times Thomas was away, someone he could share all his passions with), he didn't allow his thoughts to linger on that too much. He was privileged. He was happy. And no matter what, a lack of a romantic partner wouldn't change that.

\------------------------

Monday was Patton's free day. Since he worked at the mall, they would rather have him working on Saturdays and Sundays rather than Mondays, so he always left that day of the week to do whatever he wanted, specially while Thomas was at school.

After leaving his son at the school entrance, Patton took his car back to their house and parked on the garage, deciding to have a stroll around the neighborhood before coming home and cleaning. Every other Monday, he made his way towards one of his best friend's flower shop, to chat and drink some coffee, maybe buy a succulent or two. His name was Virgil, and he was a few years younger than Patton, but they turned into quick friends after Thomas suddenly decided he wanted to cultivate flowers when he was eight. So he and Patton were constantly at Virgil's store, buying seeds, dirt and other utensils for Thomas' experiments. After that phase, they became friends, and Patton made sure to come often every now and then to check on him.

As he walked inside, he was greeted by the sweet lavender smell the store always had, the summer flowers colorful and wide at the store's windows and stands. Patton always admired Virgil's ability to decorate, the place was outstanding, beautiful, with flowers and decorations on every little corner. As he walked inside, the little bell rang above him, and he heard a grunt coming from behind the counter in the back, the little door to the storage area half open.

"I'll be there in one second! Feel free to look around!" he heard Virgil's voice, a bit muffled, and Patton chuckled to himself, checking his favorite flowers in the corner. Oh daisies were so pretty! He touched them and even picked one on his hand, before putting it back on the vase and continuing his stroll around the shop. He felt so cozy in there. "Hey, how can I... Patton!"

"Virgil!" he said when he saw his friend pop up from behind the counter. He approached in and smiled as the younger man pushed the box of flowers away from their path, smiling at his friend.

"Long time no see, Pat. Too busy fixing stuff for Thomas' back to school time?" he asked, grabbing a few roses from inside the box, and gathering them up with a few of those decoration sticks to form a bouquet. Patton chuckled, nodding while he watched him.

"Yeah, you know how crazy these few weeks are. Buying notebooks, pencils, pens, books, making sure he knows how awful high school is going to be" he chuckled, offering Virgil the strand so he could tie up the bouquet. "How are you?"

"Oh I'm my usual self" Virgil said, making a knot and then a bow and placing the bouquet at a vase nearby. "I got a bunch of new flowers for the season... some tree saplings too. The usual stuff. Oh, did you get Logan's text?"

Logan was one of Patton's oldest friends, one that ended up becoming Virgil's friend after hanging out with Patton so much.

"No I didn't..." Patton said, checking his phone, only to see a notification from Logan. "Oh... I did."

"He wants to celebrate the beginning of the school year... as usual" Virgil said, chuckling as Patton opened the message.

'Patton, I would like to celebrate the beginning of the school year with a night of cheese and wine at my house, Monday at eight pm. I would appreciate your company – Logan'

"Ish... I didn't tell Thomas about it" Patton said, biting his bottom lip, but when he looked up Virgil was staring at him with an annoyed look.

"Do you think he would care? Every fourteen-year-old dream is to have the night for them to be alone. Specially after first day of class. Send him a message and come. It will be fun" Virgil said, tying up a second bouquet. "We all know you need a little fun Pat."

"Being with Thomas is fun" he said, but he knew what Virgil meant. The florist rolled his eyes and nodded, while Patton send Thomas a message about going to Logan's at eight. "Well, I sent it. I'll be going."

"Great-oh and Patton, could you do me a favor? Could you send this vase to Roman? He ordered it last week and didn't come to, you know, get it" Virgil said, rolling his eyes and handing Patton a beautiful golden vase with red poppies in it. "He's lucky I know how to care for my flowers or they would be dead by now."

"Of course, I'll take it to him" Patton said, smiling and taking the vase. "Have a good day Virg! See you tonight."

"See ya Pat" Virgil said, turning back to his bouquets as Patton made his way out. He wasn't planning on going by Roman's but it wouldn't take him too far from the path anyway, so he headed over.

Roman was also one of Patton's closest friends. He met him through Virgil, since both seemed to have a history neither talked too much about, but Roman and Virgil were one of those best friends that always teased each other no matter what. Unlike the florist, Roman was loud, extravagant and dramatic! He worked at a studio as a clothing designer, but his true passion was theater, so he taught a small group in a little rented space near his apartment. He taught every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and worked on the rest of the days, but he was always excited and seemed to not care about the extensive work hours he had.

Patton knew, then, that he would be probably with his theater group at that time, so he headed off to the small rented place, a large empty room where he did his plays and taught his students. Patton made his way inside through the small door, walked upstairs, and knocked on the door very gently so he wouldn’t interrupt in case they were in the middle of a scene.

After a minute, someone opened the door, and Patton smiled at the little girl looking up at him.

"Hey there. Is Roman busy?" he asked, and she looked back, shaking her head and opening the door further so he would come in. Patton walked inside, seeing every child with their eyes closed, laying on the ground, meditating, while Roman sat in front of them in the sitting yoga pose.

As Patton walked in, the girl closed the door and went back to her place, laying down, while Roman opened his eyes and turned to see Patton.

"Children, keep on the breathing exercise, make sure you feel relaxed and content" Roman said, before standing up and nodding for Patton to follow. He did, and they walked inside a small room next to the one they worked on, filled with props and with a table with some coffee and tea. "Patton!"

"Hey Ro" he said happily, handing him the vase. "I went to Virgil's and he told me to bring this to you. Sorry for interrupting your class."

"Oh friend, you're never interrupting. And this is beautiful" Roman said, taking the vase and sighing happily. "Gosh I completely forgot. Oh sit down, let us have a chat."

Patton looked at him confused but didn't oppose, sitting on a nearby stool and thanking Roman as he handed him a cup of tea. Roman looked at the flowers and let out a melancholic sigh, before drinking some tea as well, shaking his head.

"Is... something wrong?" Patton asked, knowing Roman didn't just spill out whatever he was thinking unless someone asked.

"Oh Patton... everything is going wrong" he said, dramatically, and looked at him with a defeated expression. "I received the worst news I could possibly have received... and worst, no one will understand it if I complain about it."

"Roman... you can always talk to me" Patton said, smiling and placing a hand on his knee. "What is bothering you buddy?"

Roman looked away dramatically, sighing loudly and pressing his lips together before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"My brother... is moving... here" he said, opening his eyes again, and Patton stared at him for a moment.

Well, Roman was right. He did not understand it.

"Is that... bad?" Patton asked, but Roman whined and put his face in his hands.

"It is the worst news I could have received! My brother and I, ugh, we are... complete opposites! We never saw eye to eye and I thought I had finally gotten rid of him, but no. He is moving here, and he insists that I go to his moving party! I don't want to go Patton! I don't like him!"

"Roman, he is your brother! It can't be so bad..." he said softly, and Roman furrowed his eyebrows.

"It is... gosh I don't want to go to this party... I will have to go and stand around while he... acts like he does... ugh... if only I had a friend..." Roman said, and then his eyes slowly widened, snapping his head up. "Patton! That's it!"

"That... is it?" Patton said confused, but Roman held his shoulders and grinned.

"You, Virgil and Logan are coming with me to the party! That way, I don't have to feel alone and scared while he is the way he is!" he said, and Patton furrowed his eyebrows lightly.

"Roman, I don't know..."

"Awn come on please Pat!" Roman pouted, leaning closer to him. "I promise that we can do whatever you want after! The party will suck but like we can do so many cool things!"

"Um... I mean... I'll think about it" he said, nervously, but Roman pouted even more. "ugh fine fine! I will go!"

"Yes!" Roman squealed, hugging Patton tight. "Now you just have to help me convince Logan and Virgil and we are all set!"

"Oh brother" Patton whispered, hugging Roman back and looking away.

That... was going to be a strange party, that he was sure of.


	2. Cheese and Wine Night

After talking for some time with Roman, Patton left his class to go home and clean everything before Thomas arrived. At lunch time, he got a message from Thomas saying he really didn't mind Patton going to Logan's house to celebrate the beginning of the school year, and Patton once again thanked the heavens for having such a wonderful kid. He cleaned up the house, prepared everything for dinner, ate some quick sandwiches for lunch and then sat down and relaxed until it was time for Thomas to arrive.

He came home at the same time as the last year, at 5pm. He walked inside and put his bag on the hanger, before turning around and smiling when he saw Patton on the couch. He rushed to him, sitting down and wrapping his hands around his middle, waking up the man who had fallen asleep while watching some house decorating show.

"Oh-oh Thomas!" Patton said happily, pulling him closer and hugging him tight. "Hey kiddo! How was your first day of school?"

"Better than the rest will be I'm sure" Thomas giggled, pressing his face to Patton's chest and then pulling away. "I'm going to take a shower, at what time you're leaving?"

"Seven thirty, more or less. You know dad doesn't like being late for things" Patton said, ruffling his hair, and Thomas groaned before fixing it again.

"Alright, I'll go wash and will come back to fix everything up. Oh also I've already chosen the movies I will watch tonight after you're gone" he giggled, and jumped away, rushing to the stairs and waving. "Be right back dad!"

"I don't want you going to sleep late!" Patton cried out, but Thomas was already running upstairs. He sighed and smiled to himself, looking back at the TV show and watching it, now in a completely different show which he had fallen asleep to. Ugh, he really was getting old.

Thomas came back after half an hour, fixed the dinner table and then sat down next to Patton, putting his legs over the couch and checking on his phone while Patton watched TV, until it was time for dinner. They stayed mostly quiet, and when time for eating came, they let go of what they were doing and sat down to eat some deliciously cooked chicken.

"Daaaaaaaaad this looks so good!" Thomas said, whining softly as he served himself some chicken wings. "Oh my goodness!"

"Only the best for my high school boy! I'm so excited to hear what happened, how it was! Were the classes interesting? And what about your friends?"

"All the same good stuff dad" Thomas said, stuffing a bunch of potatoes in his mouth and humming happily. "All my friends were the same, the subjects barely even started, you know that day where we all pretend like we don't know anything about school and stuff. It was very fun!"

"Oh kiddo that's great!" Patton said, excited for him. "And how was it, having classes with Logan? Were your friends excited?"

"Well, I'm glad Logan didn't treat me any different" Thomas said, honestly, shrugging softly. "But it was nice! He is very enthusiastic, but he really doesn't like people interrupting him. Having classes with him for all three years will be very cool!"

"Yeah, Logan is the best" Patton agreed, nodding and putting a piece of chicken in his mouth. "I hope you always have a great relationship with him, because he will help you with everything you need. And everything your pops here doesn't know. Because I don't know anything about school anymore."

"Come on dad, you know stuff. You always helped me in English classes when I was younger" Thomas said, smiling and poking him gently with his finger. "You're the best dad!"

"No, you are the best, kiddo!" Patton said, before checking his clock and sighing. "I'm already running late. Do you mind if I rush a little?"

"What? No! I want you to have as much fun as you can" Thomas said, smiling and eating some more. "Lets stop talking so you can go and have fun with your friends! Also tell Virgil I'll probably need his help for an assignment at some point this semester."

"Will do kiddo. Now eat slow because you have no hurry, and remember not to go to sleep too late. You have school tomorrow" Patton said, firmly, knowing that if he slacked off Thomas would sleep at four am without realizing it. But Thomas smiled and nodded, and Patton knew he would be careful with his timing.

Patton ate a little bit faster and finished up before Thomas, heading into his bedroom to get ready. He changed into his casual look (polo, cardigan around the neck, high pants) and put on some perfume before grabbing his car keys and wallet and heading off. When he came back downstairs, Thomas was already singing along to Frozen's first song, and waved for Patton as he walked out of the house.

Thomas was such a good kid.

He got inside his car and took off, heading to Logan's, honestly excited to have a gather up with all his best friends. They hadn't done that in a few months, not all of them at least. Logan's house wasn't too far away from his own, only a twenty minute drive, so he went over with a song playing on the radio, something calm and sweet so he would relax and stop worrying so much. He didn't want to think about anything, so he enjoyed the town around him and hummed to the music, even wiggling a bit to pretend like he was dancing.

He eventually arrived at Logan's building, a little closer to the center, and parked his car at the street, heading over to the porch and seeing Virgil's motorbike and Roman's sport's car on the way. He rang the bell and the security guard let him in, as he was a constant visitor, and he made his was through the fancy corridors to the elevator, pressing the button to Logan's floor and waiting.

Once he got there, he headed out, and the door was opened. He could hear voices from inside, but from far away, so he guessed they were all in the kitchen. Before he entered, he felt something on his foot, and looked down to see Data looking up at him, meowing while his tail wiggled high in the air.

"Oh hi Data" Patton whispered, getting the cat in his arms and smiling wide when he started to meow and purr. "I missed you too. Is everyone inside already? Gosh I'm missing a party!"

Patton made his way inside, closing and locking the door behind himself, placing Data on the couch and then heading into the kitchen through the hallway, seeing the living room and dining room on his way. As he came closer, the voices got louder, and he popped his head into the room to see Virgil smirking, leaning against the fridge, while Roman and Logan discussed about something.

"Roman, I am telling you, I did a whole thirty day course on wine, I know which wine agrees with which cheese!"

"Well Logan apparently they didn't teach you anything right, because everyone knows that fondue mixes well with Sauternes and not Viognier!"

"I think it's time for everyone to _wine_ down and _pour_ some fun into this conversation, am I right?" Patton said, smiling, and the three men turned to face him, with Virgil being the only one that didn't groan at his pun.

"Heyo Pat" Virgil said, grabbing his own glass that was already almost empty and handing Patton another full one. "Here. You're gonna have to drink a lot to handle these two tonight."

"How rude Virgil, we are having a polite and honest discussion about wine and cheese, we aren't fighting" Roman said, drinking some from his glass, while Logan rolled his eyes and grabbed the cheese plate he had prepared earlier.

"Lets go to the living room?" he offered, and they all nodded, heading towards the other room to sit on the couches and drink some well deserved wine.

The talk started slow and kind of awkward, since the four of them hadn't been together for a long time, but eventually they grew more and more comfortable around each other as they usually did, the wine and delicious cheeses also helping in their relaxation, the talk flowing smoothly and quite easily between them. Eventually they began talking about classes, as Logan usually did, and the subject fell over Thomas and his first day of classes.

"Oh he said everything was just fine! I couldn't be more glad. He said he is very excited to have classes with you Lo" Patton said, sipping on his wine, while Logan madethat convinced face of his and nodded.

"I too am excited to finally start to actually teach him new things" he said, and Virgil smirked.

"I'm glad his first day was fine. High school fucking sucks. You should give him a break Lo, give the boy some easy grades."

"You know I absolutely would never. It wouldn't be fair to the other students. I will never treat Thomas any differently" Logan assured, and Patton chuckled.

"Thanks Virg, but I'm sure Thomas will handle himself just fine. He is a very smart kid and he loves learning, so I'm not too worried. I am worried about his friends though. High school can be pretty scary" he said, and Virgil nodded.

"Yeah tell me about it."

"Oh please, Thomas is a kind and fun soul! He will find so many friends your house will be filled with children to play around in" Roman said, smiling widely and finishing his glass, serving himself some more wine. "High school isn't all that bad!"

"I agree. I enjoyed my time at high school and I participated in several activities and studied very hard" Logan said, and Patton sighed softly.

"Yes I know it isn't all bad but... my relationship with school was never easy" he said, and Virgil raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wow, that's some backstory we haven't heard of" he said, nudging Patton, who just chuckled and shrugged lightly.

"And you don't have to. After all, it's all in the past now" he assured, and before anyone said anything, Roman gasped loudly and then put his glass down.

"Oh my god how did I forget?! This night was being so marvelous that the terrible news almost didn't make themselves known!" Roman said, loudly, and both Virgil and Logan looked at him like he was way overexaggerating.

"What is up princey?" Virgil asked, and Roman huffed.

"Don't call me that! And ugh something horrible Virgil... you are going to hate it..." Roman said, covering his eyes dramatically and sighing. "My brother is moving to town!"

"Your... brother?" Logan asked, just as confused as Patton had been before. But the silence extended its welcome, and when Patton looked, Virgil had an expression of surprise and hate that he had never seem him wear before.

"WHAT?!" Virgil yelled, standing up, and Roman winced lightly at it. "Your brother is moving here and you didn't tell me anything?! When?! How?!"

"When is he coming or... when did I find out?" Roman asked, curled up, and Virgil gave him that look that could kill a man. "I found out last Friday and he arrives Thursday... He is throwing a party this Friday and I don't want to... go alone."

"Are you asking me to go with you?" Virgil asked, more than offended, and Roman sighed loudly, watching as the younger man began to pace around Logan's living room. Logan and Patton were at a complete loss. "I can't fucking believe it..."

"Come on Virgil, you know I can't go alone! He will eat me alive like a lion eats a baby deer!" Roman said, whining, and then looking around. "And I invited Patton and Logan too! They are going! Please don't abandon me in this battle!"

"I did not agree to any of this..." Logan tried, but Virgil sighed over his words and turned to Roman.

"It's not a battle Roman, it's fucking suicide! I'm not going! I'm not showing up, I don't want to be close to your brother, ever! You heard me? Ever!"

""Virgil please, let's talk about this!" Roman said, standing up and following Virgil as he headed into the kitchen probably to grab some water. Patton watched them leave and then looked at Logan, who was just frowning to himself.

"Are you attending to the party?" Logan asked, and Patton shrugged with a small nod.

"Yeah... I mean what don't I do for Roman?" he smiled, and the teacher rolled his eyes, even if Patton knew that was a sign that he had just mentally accepted to go too.

They stayed in silence until Roman and Virgil came back, announcing he would go to the party, with several conditions.

"And if he talks to me, I'm leaving. No matter how long we stay in, one 'hi' and I'm out" Virgil said, firmly, and Roman sighed contently.

"You guys are the best."

"Could you... explain to us why your brother is so horrible?" Patton asked, curious and a bit concerned by Virgil's reaction. Roman sighed but Virgil himself chuckled dryly, and turned to face the dad of the group.

"Well Patton, imagine the most disgusting, annoying, rude, inconvenient, bitchy person you have ever met. Then add a little bit of shit, a little bit of rotten corpses, and a pinch of creepiness, and there you go. Roman's brother." He said, so cold and angry that Patton didn't even believe that was Virgil for a second. Then Roman sighed and he turned to him.

"He is... the opposite of me. He is awful... Or at least he was... I haven't talked to him in years" he said, looking down at his hands. Patton furrowed his eyebrows and looked between his friends.

"Well, maybe he has changed? Maybe he is a different person now..."

"He hasn't" Virgil said, with more certainty than he had ever said anything. "A person like him can't and won't change."

"... well I guess it will be a mystery then, since none of you two want to provide Patton and I with a satisfactory explanation for Roman's brother's bad character" Logan said, shrugging and pouring more wine for himself. "Not as if I cared. More wine everyone?"

"Fill it in teach. My night just got a lot worst" Virgil said, grabbing his glass and drinking the wine as if it was juice.

Patton looked at him and then at Roman and hummed to himself, sipping on his wine and eating some more cheese. Well, he would have to wait until Friday to find out what was so wrong about Roman's brother.

He just hoped it wasn't something too bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to keep writing this omg


	3. It's party time!

After the meeting at Logan's ended, Patton went home with this new curious feeling inside his heart. In five days, he was going to meet Roman's brother, someone Roman had never even mentioned before, and not only that, but someone Virgil knew and disliked. That sent a weird feeling down his tummy, since he was always the guy that liked everyone and tried to befriend everyone, so thinking about someone his best friends didn't like made him feel bad. Like he shouldn't like this person, even if he usually liked everyone.

However, if he was like Virgil and Roman described him, then maybe Patton would just naturally not like him. He hoped that would be the case. He really didn't want to dislike anyone just for his friends' sake.

When he got home, it was way past midnight, and he was happy to see the living room empty and everything neatly organized. As he walked upstairs, he checked Thomas' room, seeing him asleep on his bed, or at least pretending. That was something. Patton then wished him good night softly and headed into his bedroom, trying not to think about the party on Friday so he wouldn't first, get anxious, and second, create expectations. He was always the worst when it came to expectations.

After his night ritual, he got into bed and put his glasses away, before grabbing his book to read a bit. He always read at least a page from a book before sleeping, made his mind relaxed. As he did, he allowed himself to be captured into the world of fantasies, and forget about the party and work and everything all together.

All he wasn't able to push away was the yearning feeling that those stories gave him. Feelings of hope, unconditional love, happy endings and impossible to reach dreams. And as he fell asleep, he couldn't help but wonder if somehow, in another parallel world, he had some soulmate waiting for him, with their arms open. He could only dream of it.

Someone who would come and be with him forever.

If Patton had any time to worry about Friday night, he was sure the week would have passed like minutes during a boring class. But between taking Thomas to school, working, organizing the house, talking to Thomas during dinner, and doing everything else he had to, hours passed like seconds, and when he least expected it, Friday had indeed arrived.

Thomas luckily came home from school earlier on Fridays, so he could try to calm his dad down on his insanity of thoughts and worries.

"Thomas, Roman told me this is a fancy party! For fancy people! I don't have fancy clothes!"

"Dad, you literally have a black suit. That's all you need!" Thomas insisted, sitting on Patton's bed while he ate some cereal. "Besides, you will look cool no matter what you wear! You're the best!"

"Oh Thomas, kiddo, that's so sweet of you to say, but I know it's not true" Patton said, pouting at Thomas and showing him his phone. "Roman told me to 'not dress like myself'. I really don't want to disappoint. Roman doesn't like his brother. If I show up all... bad looking, it will look bad for him!"

"First of all, I think Roman should like his brother. Second of all, who cares? Dad you're going to kill it with your jokes!" Thomas said, smiling bright and jumping up after carefully placing the cereal bowl on the nightstand. "Come on! Let's find something for you to wear!"

Honestly, when Patton called Thomas for help, he expected his kid to just hang around and laugh at his clothes. But Thomas was so grown up and sweet, and he helped Patton choose the best of the best, the top of all clothes he had, even checking inside some dusty drawers to make sure they weren't missing anything.

In the end, the chose a simple fit. Since they weren't sure if it was too formal or not, they went safe: a nice button up light blue shirt, a grey vest on top, no sleeves, and black suit pants. The shoes were also fancy, colored leather brown, and when Patton looked at himself in the mirror, he barely recognized his own face.

"Oh I look... good" he whispered, smiling, and Thomas gave him a thumbs up.

"Looking good dad!"

"Oh Thomas thank you!" he said, happily, pulling him into a tight hug and grinning when Thomas laughed loudly. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know, probably wear very silly clothes" he giggled and pulled away, before gently punching Patton on the shoulder. "Now go, get your perfume and hair gel on, and have fun! No matter if Roman's brother is nice or not, drink some stuff, eat some food and make some friends!"

"Oh kiddo you can bet I will" Patton chuckled, high fiving Thomas and then sighing happily. "Well I should be going. Roman will be waiting for us at his flat. Ugh I'm so nervous! Remember, you can sleep after ten but before midnight! Dinner is in the fridge, don't eat too many sweets, make sure you brush your teeth and have fun! Dad doesn't have time to return, not tonight."

"Don't worry pops. I will see you tomorrow" Thomas winked, and gave him a kiss on the cheek before rushing out, straight downstairs for his video games. Patton was so god damned lucky.

After prep talking himself on the mirror for a few minutes, fixing his hair and putting on perfume, Patton grabbed everything he needed and headed over to Roman's. Once there, he went to Roman's flat, and Logan was already there, waiting for Virgil. Patton made his way inside, smiling at how similar he and Logan looked, and how fancy Roman was with a ling red cardigan and even some high heel boots, and makeup! But they were just waiting around for Virgil, who showed up half an hour later, when Roman was already almost climbing the walls.

"What took you so freaking long?!" Roman asked, grabbing his car keys, while Virgil stared at him with the angriest of faces. He didn't look too fancy at all, clearly not in the mood for the party.

"I didn't want to go, so be thankful I am here" he said, dryly, as the made their way to Roman's car. They all climbed inside, with Logan being the one driving, since he compromised not to drink, and they headed off with Patton on the front seat and Roman and Virgil on the back.

"You could have tried harder with your wardrobe Virgil" Roman complained, and Patton only giggled when he saw Logan rolling his eyes next to him.

"Oh could I? Come on Roman you know I am not in the mood. I would never dress well for a party he is throwing."

"You are going to make us look like fools! And you know how bad that can be!"

"It is going to be even worst when I open the door and jump off this car if you don't shut the fuck up!"

"Hey there guys lets all calm down" Patton said, turning on a Disney playlist in his phone and watching as Virgil and Roman calmed down almost instantly. "We are all going to this party and we are all going to have an average time. We are all together! It won't be bad! Logan and I have your backs."

"Thank god I have sane people with me in this endeavor" Virgil whispered, and slowly both grew quiet, muttering the songs to themselves as Patton smiled to himself. Logan mouthed a 'thank you' at him that made him even happier, and his eyes drifted off into the night sky as they made their way to his extravagant party.

When Logan parked, Patton was a bit confused. First of all, in years since he had been living at that town, he had never come to that side before, so far away from the center, and so well hidden from the rest of the city. Second, he had never seen somewhere so fancy before, with walls that went up three meters over the ground, and houses the sizes of mansions, like those he saw in movies.

The four got out of the car and Logan locked it, before they gathered in the street, looking forward at the mansion they were about to enter. They could hear the song beat from outside, the party lights illuminating the skies. Unlike most of the other houses, the walls from this one were made of bushes, tall bushes, and for the entrance, a large black gate that looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

"That is the correct number, so I believe we should go in" Logan said, once he realized no one was moving, and slowly made his way across the street. Patton followed, and then Virgil and Roman, who seemed extremely hesitant to make their way inside. When Logan rang the bell, instead of a call coming in, the gates opened up immediately, and they saw the even more unbelievable size of could only be called a castle at that point.

Well, it wasn't a castle, it was more like a mansion really, but Patton had never seen a house so big! The front garden was filled with animal bushes, fruit trees, flowers, lakes, picnic tables, fountains, all cut straight in the middle by a pathway of beautiful stones that lead over to the house itself, and heck, the house itself...

It was huge, and the ground floor was made entirely by glass walls. It had three floors that Patton could see, there was a pool next to a grill, a open wide door, and the lights were all coming from that open area, and it was filled with people, with the fanciest and prettiest dresses and suits, drinking fancy champagne and smoking cigars. All fancy stuff.

Patton couldn't even believe what he was seeing.

"Should we move or..." Logan said, suddenly, and Patton looked around to see Virgil and Roman pretty much just as dumbfounded as he was. Only Logan didn't seem to mind all that much.

"I'm not going in there" Virgil said, but Roman held his hand firmly and looked straight into the florist's eyes.

"If you leave I swear I will burn down your shop and laugh as the rats eat your violets" he growled, and Virgil swallowed thickly, nodding and heading towards the house. Roman followed, and after a confused look, Patton and Logan made their way through the pathway into the house itself.

The songs were loud and... very vulgar for Patton's taste. No one seemed to be dancing, everyone enjoying their drinks, or the pool, or kissing... things people usually did. No one even stopped to look at them, even less say hello, so they made their way in as if they knew what they were doing, with Patton half afraid they had entered the wrong house.

But then, oh boy, as they walked into the main room, there was a squeal in what Patton could only guess was a karaoke microphone that made everyone, literally everyone at the party go quiet, and even they stopped moving, looking around to find the source of the sound.

The large crowd turned to look at them, the strangers in the house, before a gasp was heard, loud and clear, and someone began talking through the microphone.

"SHUT DOWN THE MUSIC! TO YOUR LEFT YOU DUMMY! TURN LEFT!" someone yelled, and Patton turned left, only to notice Roman staring straight ahead to something in the distance. And indeed, not too far away from where they were, on top of a make shift stage with a pole dance and a karaoke machine right in the middle, was a man, looking at them, seeming way too excited.

Wait... was that...

"GUYS! GALS! PALS! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GIVE A LOOK AND A ROUND OF APPLAUSES... to my baby brother."

The crowd followed what he did to perfection. Suddenly, Patton saw himself in the middle of a big circle, with Logan, Roman and Virgil next to him, as the crowd began to cheer and clap as the guy on the stage made his way down. Roman and Virgil seemed mortified, red from head to toe, clearly in a state of shock, while Logan was just confused but hyper aware of their friends' states, holding somewhere on both of them to calm them down and ground them.

Patton decided to do the same on his own way, bowing to the crowd.

"Thank you, thank you! Do you guys know how to draw a crowd? With a pen!"

The claps and cheers slowly started to die down, and Patton could feel that spark of shame coming from deep within his stomach, but he was sure that was helping his friends, so another stupid joke it was.

"How do you organize a space party?" he asked, and grinned widely as everyone started to get quiet. "You planet!"

Eventually the crowd started to get awkward and turned back to talk to their friends, probably about Patton, and when he looked back at his friends, Virgil gave him a shaky smile that relieved his soul. He came closer to them, Logan finally letting go, just in time for someone to pop out of the sea of people and jump into their personal space.

"Bro!" the guy that had been on the stage exclaimed, and wrapped his arm around Roman, pulling him for a hug. He was, well, way too much like Roman in a way that made Patton a little uncomfortable. If it wasn't for the moustache and piercings in the man's face, he and Roman would be exactly the same. But their styles were completely different. While everyone else at the party was wearing fancy clothes, he was wearing very ripped jeans with a fishnet hose underneath, and a black tank top that had such large holes on the arms that Patton could see his whole sides. Not only that, but he had piercings everywhere, he wore a spiked collar and he had tattoos on his arms, leg, neck...

He was the polar opposite of pristine, sweet Roman.

"... Remus..." Roman whispered, disgust clear in his voice, and his brother (Remus?) let out a loud laugh, hugging him again and then pulling away to look at him with a loopy grin on his face.

"Oh Roman you haven't changed a thing! I mean, except for the aging lines of course! And Virgil!" Remus said, pushing Roman away and taking Virgil's hand on his own, despite the florist's tries to move away. "How long haven't we seen each other, emo... too long" he said, his voice dropping so much he sounded like a porn star from the eighties or something. He kissed Virgil's hand, and Virgil almost collapsed, pulling his hand away in a snap and wiping it off on his pants, but Remus didn't even seem to care. "And who are these? Two new friends for me to get acquainted with? Oh Roman, from zero to three! I am so proud of you little brother!"

"Um, hello. I am Logan" Logan tried, noticing how completely out of themselves Virgil and Roman were acting, raising his hand to shake Remus'. "Pleasure to meet you... Remus, correct?"

"Correct" he nodded, taking Logan's and instead of shaking it, he took it to his lips and kissed his knuckles. "But I would rather call you mine, if you don't mind."

Patton's eyes widened at such a bold move, and even Logan seemed to feel out of place which was almost impossible, pulling his hand away and blushing while looking at Remus. Luckily, he didn't have time to turn around and greet Patton, because someone else was making their way into the ground, through the crowd.

"Remus honey, please tell me you're not flirting shamelessly when your boyfriend is just coming back with your drink?" Patton heard someone say, and Remus turned around with a grin, pulling whoever it was for a kiss with his back to Patton, blocking his view of whoever they were.

"Oh darling I would never" Remus said, still bending over them, and slowly pulled them up again as they laughed.

"No, of course not. I swear I have to keep him on a leash" they said, and when they turned around, Patton's eyes widened even more, his heart leaped out of his chest, his lungs contracted and he felt dizzy, like he had just seen his grandfather's ghost in front of him. "Hello, my name is J-"

"Janus..."

Their eyes met, and it was like the world around Patton went dark and completely silent, as he met once again with that same face he hadn't seen in... ages.

And Janus stared right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I love this story so much!


	4. Private Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Remus being very rude to everyone

Life truly was a strange little thing.

Most people said life passed too fast, that you had to make the most of it while you had time, and that your entire life passed in front of your eyes before you died. Life could be surprising, and Patton kinda understood where that came from now. But he was sure life didn't just pass before your eyes when you died.

Or else, that would be an unbelievably bad end for a nice party.

The world surrounding him went blurry and slow motion. The party songs seemed to turn into a merely buzzing sound at the back of his brain, and he couldn't look away even if he tried. And Janus stared back at him, his eyes always so... him. Patton couldn't look anywhere else. He took in his form, his sharper jaw line, lifted nose, the way his hair fell over his face, half hiding the mark on his left side, the earrings that fell over his shoulders so long they were, and his slim figure, dressed in the most pretty of golds and blacks, almost in a dress format, so beautiful and extravagant as him.

The volcano of feelings that erupted inside Patton was too intense and strong to stop, making his stomach twist, his heart squeeze, his lungs shrink, his legs tremble, his muscles contract, and it was almost like he was having a complete malfunction of all organs as he just stared at the person he hadn't seen in so long.

It felt so weird.

"...on... Patton..." he heard someone saying in the middle of all the confusion of feelings he was having, but he only really came back to reality when a hand touched his shoulder, and he turned to see Logan, looking at him with the most worried face he had ever seen. "Patton... are you okay?"

"Oh me? Oh I'm fine!" he said, suddenly, a bit too hyper, before turning back and hearing the loud beat of the song again, all the people screaming over the music, and all of the others just stared at him like he was crazy. "Sorry I doze off for a second, it is a pleasure to meet you, Remus, Janus!"

"He... hadn't said his name" Roman said, and Patton felt a dread in his stomach before he laughed loudly and extensively and waved his hand.

"Oops, I guess I am too good at _guessing_ hehehe... well it is a pleasure nevertheless."

"It surely is..." Janus said, slow and with his usual displeased tone, before he turned back to Remus and smiled at him, holding one of his cheeks with his hand. "Now honey, would you mind not flirting with every single guest? I would truly appreciate if you gave me some attention tonight."

"My little snake, I will give you all the attention tonight! Why don't we all go somewhere more reserved? I would really like to talk to my brother and his friends without, you know, the extreme banging of songs in my ears!" Remus said, his arm wrapped around Janus, sending something very dark and bad into Patton's stomach.

"Oh of course. Follow me" Janus said, waving his hand, and after a quick glance, the four friends followed the couple through the crowd. Roman had to keep begging for Virgil not to leave, while Logan looked at Patton, one hand placed comfortingly on his lower back.

"Pat... do you really want to stay? We can leave at any time" he whispered, and Patton looked at him, giving him a smile.

"I'm fine Lo. Don't worry about it. Also we can't leave Roman and Virgil on their own. They clearly are not very happy where they are" he said, looking at their younger friends, watching as they quietly discussed in front of the group. "We need to be their support!"

"We can't support anyone when we are feeling miserable Patton, we discussed this already" Logan said, firmly, but Patton brushed him off and gave him a confident smile.

"I am not feeling miserable Lo, I swear. Now come on, we have to make sure they won't kill each other. Or kill Remus. Or cry."

"That... we do" Logan sighed, and headed upstairs after Virgil and Roman, looking as the crowd stayed behind them and the music turned faint and far away.

Janus and Remus guided them to the second floor, into a hallway that had a few people that also wanted some privilege, and took them to a separated room that looked like a lounge area for guests. Janus closed the door once everyone was inside, giving Patton a side glance that didn't pass unnoticed, while Remus turned on the lights and grabbed some whiskey and wine for them.

"Make yourselves at home while I serve you all some drinks" he said, politely, and Patton took a moment to look around. It was magnificent, with three large couches, comfy chairs, fluffy rugs, a TV on top of a very nice fireplace, decorations all over the walls and tables, a full liquor bar on the back, with stools, and even a private bathroom and a few games like chess and darts, everything very bar-like.

They found their ways into the couches, the four of them sitting next to each other, with Roman on one end and Patton on the other, Virgil and Logan in between, while Janus took his already full glass of wine and sat down on one of the single chairs, crossing his legs, sipping his drink, eyes never leaving Patton. He knew that because he barely shifted his own away from him for too long.

There was an awkward and long silence while Remus served them drinks, and when he returned, he handed all of them a wine glass and a whiskey glass, something that internally Patton was grateful for because fuck if he didn't want to get drunk right now.

"Why is everyone so quiet? Come on, this is home!" Remus said, and Virgil shifted uncomfortably. No one seemed to want to make the first move, so Logan, the always perfect ice breaker, rose the wine glass to his nose and hummed.

"This is a cabernet sauvignon, is it not?" he asked, and Remus chuckled, sitting on a chair on the opposite side of Janus, which meant he was the closest to Roman, furthest from Patton.

"Yes it is. Not everyone can smell a wine's grapes" he teased, and Logan raised his eyebrow.

"I saw the bottle when you were serving it."

"Oh yes, I know" Remus smirked, and leaned in closer, eyeing them all in a way that could very easily be considered creepy. "I have to be honest, I never expected my brother and Virgil to become friends of people like... you two."

"What about you don't act honest and just shut up?" Virgil asked, seeming to immediately get defensive, but Remus was not taken back, simply smirking and leaning backwards against the chair.

"Come on Virgil, that is no way of treating your party host. Besides, I let you all come inside with no hesitation, even though I only invited Roman, so I am being nice."

"You can't ever be nice, and believe me, I wouldn’t be here if it was for me. None of us would. And I actually really want to leave" Virgil said, he had no filter when he was feeling cornered.

"You are welcome to leave at any time, I don't want anyone to be forced in here. I wasn't even expecting neither of you to show up, so this is good enough. I thought my brother's hatred and jealousy would never allow him to step inside my mansion" Remus said, in a way that sounded so genuine and honest, but that held so much venom behind it that even Patton flinched.

"I am aware that you and Roman haven’t talked in years, and I also know we don't know each other for so long, but just believe me when I say Roman doesn't allow his feelings to interfere in important subjects such as seeing his brother again" Logan said immediately jumping to defend his friends. Patton was thankful for it, because his brain was not working. "In any way, could you please tell us more about yourself? Roman was surprised when he told us you were moving, do you mind telling us what happened?"

Remus seemed to lose a bit of his character at that, surely not expecting them to say anything back, and huffed softly before drinking a large gulp of whiskey before regaining his balance again and smirking at Logan.

"You are a curious one, I like it. Well, this town is relatively small and it has many business opportunities, and as I am certain Roman has told you, we come from a very wealthy family, so I took my savings and moved here, to be closer to my brother, and to open my new tattoo shop, which has always been my dream." He said, and Patton had to hold back his surprise at finding out that Roman was rich.

He had never heard of that before.

"I-I mean, I didn't-" Roman tried, clearly looking for an excuse, but Logan was quicker than him, smiling at Remus in such a cold way that even Patton was surprised. Logan could be emotionless, but he was never cold.

"Yes, he did tell us, and he also told us he wanted to pursue a more honest way of living, thus why he doesn't use your parents' money. Of course, if that is the real reason or not, it doesn't matter. Roman is a very successful designer now, he surely doesn't need any support. Although I do hope your tattoo shop works out for you, even if I should point out that almost no tattoo artist ever becomes rich enough to endorse in the type of... high society activities you seem to enjoy. So perhaps you should try a broader field, if you wish to remain monetarily successful."

Patton's eyes were wide as he looked at Logan, and so were Virgil's and Roman's. Roman actually looked like he was about to cry, while Virgil had a spark in his face that basically said 'fuck you he's right' in a way that made Patton feel more relieved. And the look in Remus' face... it wasn't good at all. All his proud and loud façade seemed to fall flat, and he was looking so angry that Patton started to see how honest Roman and Virgil's fears were.

Remus did not look like a good person in the slightest.

But he couldn't help but steal a glance at Janus, who seemed both offended and amused by the whole discussion going on, two expressions that Patton had never seen in the same person at the same time. Still, there it was, and Janus was quick to fix himself on his chair and sigh.

"Please, boys, can we stop fighting in between the lines? Remus, behave" he said, firm and classy, and Remus leaned away and drank his whiskey while Patton held Logan's hand and smiled. Virgil and Roman seemed to immediately get more comfortable on their spots, regaining their normal body language, seeming to have won a battle they didn't even participate in. "So. Roman. Remus told me quite a lot about you. We didn't know you were a designer."

"Oh yes I am" Roman said, loud and proud, placing a hand on his own chest. "I design clothes for a company here in the area. It is a very rewarding job in the material way, but I also work with a group of children and teach them theater for free, because that enriches the soul."

"That is lovely, I do enjoy myself some voluntary work sometimes. And what about you... Virgil?" Janus asked, and Virgil sighed, arms crossing over his chest.

"I'm a florist. I like flowers" he said, dryly, and Janus gave hima confused look before nodding slowly and sipping on his wine.

"Interesting... Logan, what do you do in life?" he asked, while Logan rolled his eyes impatiently. Someone really wasn't enjoying their time.

"I teach. Science. To a school" he said, annoyed, and Janus nodded slowly without adding anything before turning his head towards Patton, glance seeming to... soften? No. No, Patton was seeing things.

"And you... Patton?" he said, almost in a whisper, his lips over the glass of wine, his legs crossing again so he could turn his whole body towards Patton, eyes digging into his soul like they always did... they always did...

_"What do you want to do, after we graduate?"_

_"I don't know... start a family?"_

_"That's for girls, Pat. What do you want to work on?"_

_"I don't know..."_

'I don't know...'

"I..." Patton whispered, and then blinked away the memory, shaking his head and breathing in quickly. "I work at a toy store! And I have a kid!"

'I have a kid!'

'Family'

'Family...'

"You have a kid?" Remus said, interrupting the moment, and Patton snapped his head towards him, seeing his disdained look. "Where's your partner? Not up for parties? Dead?"

"I don't have one" he said, softly, and couldn't help but frown. "Also that is very rude to say, what if I had a deceased partner? What would you say?"

"I would say that they are lucky not to be around an idiot like you anymore. You know because those puns downstairs were-"

"Remus!" Janus said, loudly, and angry, and everyone turned to him surprised, even Remus himself. Janus recomposed himself, noticing he had gone a bit too far, and sighed loudly. "Stop being rude to our guests. I know you hate your brother as much as the next person, but chill for god's sake! Here, go grab me some more wine. Downstairs. And don't come back until you are feeling better."

Janus handed his glass of wine to Remus, who after a loud groan took it and left the room, like a dog being told no. Roman's eyes widened, and Virgil couldn't help but snort, both of them looking at Janus impressed.

"How did you do that?!" Virgil said, excited, and Patton relaxed a bit now that the attention was away from him. Janus chuckled as Roman and Virgil started to bombard him with questions about how he had tamed Remus, answering to their questions with laughs and bows, all while Logan held Patton's hand and looked at him.

They had a short conversation through their glances, and Logan stood up, excusing them to go to the bathroom. Patton followed, because of course he did, knowing very well what Logan wanted to talk about.

Still, he couldn't help the skipping of his heart when he heard Janus' laugh in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in love with this story?????? OOF


	5. Feeling Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus keeps being rude...

Patton could still faintly hear the conversation in the room next door when he and Logan made their way inside the luxurious bathroom. It was truly a sight of dreams: a beautiful marble sink, a bathtub, golden faucets... Remus was really rich. Really really rich.

Logan closed the door behind them both and looked at Patton while he distracted himself with the decorations in the bathroom, squealing softly when he saw a porcelain frog on top of a shelf.

"Look Logan! It's so cute! Can I steal it?" he asked, as a joke, taking the little frog in his hands and showing it to his friend, but Logan rose an eyebrow at him and removed the porcelain piece from his hands, putting it down on the sink.

"Don't act like this Patton. You know I know all your schemes" he said, firmly, and Patton immediately deflated, sighing and sitting on the closed toilet seat. After a moment of silence, Logan placed the frog back on the shelf so he could sit on top of the sink, arms crossed over his chest. "Aren't you going to talk to me, Patton?"

"I don't have anything to talk about, you were the one that brought us here" he said, grumpily, like he did when he didn't want to do something. He could be a dad, but he was still very much a child at heart. He looked up at Logan, but the teacher just rose an eyebrow again and made him look down with a sigh. "I'm fine... and I know you won't believe me but I am."

"Patton... I will believe you, as long as you are honest with me" he said, and then reached for Patton's hand, holding it and making him look up. "I'm your friend. Your best friend. I know you inside out. I just want to make sure you are comfortable, because I know you will shut your worries and problems down for the sake of others, and I know Roman and Virgil really need us here. I just want to make sure you know that I can handle this, in case you cannot."

Patton couldn’t help but smile at that, his eyes even burning a little. God, Logan was the bestest of friends he could have ever had, and he really cared about him, even if he wasn't all that good at showing. The worry in the teacher's eyes were enough to make Patton sigh and stand up, pulling Logan for a dreaded hug.

Logan didn't like physical contact, but he hugged Patton back with no hesitation.

"Oh Logan... you are... you are the best" Patton said, a little emotional, before he pulled back and held the teacher's hands. "I promise you I am fine. Sure, a little uncomfortable, and maybe a bit too vulnerable, but I am fine. I can and I will stay here for my friends. And Janus clearly doesn't intent on saying anything, so I don't think we need to worry."

"Well that I did notice... he seems to be just as keen as you to remain silent about the fact that we do know each other" Logan admitted, and then looked at Patton, furrowing his eyebrows. "That will not refrain the talk from happening. If he is Remus' partner, and if he remains here in town like Remus surely will, then eventually the truth will come out, and we will have to talk to Roman and Virgil about it."

"Yeah yeah I know" Patton said, sighing and looking at the closed door, hearing Roman's loud laugh coming from it. "But not now. We first need to figure out how to help Roman and Virgil deal with Remus coming back... also what do you think of him?"

"Remus? Oh he is clearly an immature individual with self-esteem issues that would rather push those vulnerabilities on others rather than facing them himself and solving his own issues. I dislike him, that is what I mean."

"I know what you mean" Patton chuckled and shrugged. "I mean he is quite rude and I thought I would have to fight him for almost making Roman cry, but I don't think he is that harmful. We just need to make sure Virgil and Roman don't feel personally attacked."

"Do not worry. He is clearly not prepared for any good remarks I might have, considering his reaction to my retort to his offensive remarks about Roman. So I have everything under control" Logan said, and Patton smiled at the hint of pride in his voice. "Also, apparently Janus has control over him, so as long as Janus is around, I don't think Remus will be much of an annoyance."

"I do think you're right" Patton chuckled, and then stood up, smiling at Logan. "Now can we please come back? I'm hungry and I want more wine, it is... fantastic!"

"Of course. Just... don't forget you can always count on me, okay Pat?" Logan asked, and Patton grinned, pulling him for a tight hug that this time was not corresponded.

"Of course, my goofy little cutie favorite teacher of the whole wide world!" he squeaked, and Logan blushed deeply, shaking his head and sighing while he smiled.

"Good. Let's go."

When they came back to the room, Janus, Virgil and Roman were still in a deep conversation, both men shifting on the couch to sit closer to Janus. Patton and Logan then sat closest to the empty chair where Remus had been sitting, and only a few moments later he showed up again, carrying two glasses of wine and seeming a bit calmer than before. The conversation immediately died, and Janus accepted both the glass and the kiss with a smile.

"Thank you honey. Are you feeling any better?" he asked, and Remus let out a sigh, nodding and sitting on his previous chair while looking away from everyone in the couch. Janus raised an eyebrow at that, and tilted his head just a bit. "Love?"

"... I'm sorry for my rude behavior" Remus said, through his teeth, and Virgil grinned so wide that even Patton was impressed his face could do that.

"Oh my fucking god, what happened to you?" Virgil laughed, clearly more comfortable now, and Remus sent him glares that could have killed him, if glares could kill. It was so similar to Roman's killer glare that Patton felt a bit unnerved. "You're like a little doggie that learned tricks and doesn't want to disobey your master!"

"Virgil" Patton said, noticing his turn to calm down his friends since the power seemed to be shifting "behave. Don't be mean."

"Thank you Patton" Janus said, finally addressing him directly, and Patton snapped his head to the side to look at him, not even noticing how he noticed about Janus never directly talking to him, and also noticing how his heart seemed to rate at the single saying of his name through his lips. "Now that we are all calm, why don't we have a civilized conversation about, well, anything. As long as we don't go hurting each other."

"Well... since you asked us what we do, what about we ask you? What do you do for a living, Janus?" Roman asked, smiling at him, clearly more at ease and seeming to quite enjoy Janus' company. The host gave Roman a smile, and crossed his legs again, sipping on his wine.

"Let's see... I too come from a rather wealthy family, so I have my own savings and I praise a more... luxurious life. But after I worked for years to become a judge, and solved many cases as a lawyer and a prosecutor, I decided to put my law days aside for a while at least and pursue my true passion, teaching."

Oh that... that was new.

"Teaching?" Roman asked, amused, and looked at Logan. "We have three teachers in this room that's marvelous! And what are you going to teach? And where?"

"Well, I applied to the local school as a high school history teacher, and I have already been accepted. I will start to lesson in the next Monday, so I believe Logan will see me quite often" Janus said, and Logan pressed his lips together, before nodding slowly.

"It will be a pleasure to work with you, Janus. Someone who studied law as their major surely is very intelligent and capable of teaching students about whatever they desire" Logan said, but it felt a bit tight and lacking the usual excitement Logan had when he talked about his work.

Patton hoped it wasn't because of their... situation.

"For sure working with you will be a blast. I already have so many ideas we can discuss for interdisciplinary activities, since the world now is so connected and interesting."

"Indeed. Many teachers are quite excited to start planning some different activities for the students, you will probably learn about them as you go" Logan said, still not at all excited, and the conversation seemed to die for a moment, with no one saying anything.

That was when Patton felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and took it out, looking at the message he had received. He hummed and stood up, excusing himself, and going to the bathroom to accept Thomas' call.

"Hey kiddo!" he said into the phone, closing the bathroom door, and hearing Thomas sigh in the other end.

"Dad, we are out of ice cream!" he whined, and Patton frowned, looking down at the clock. It was past ten pm already!

"Thomas, you are not going to eat ice cream after ten pm! Even if we had ice cream! That's bad for your stomach!"

"But daaaaaaad I really want ice cream!"

"Thomas, you are fifteen years old, why are you whining as if you were five?"

"Because that always makes you buy me what I want..."

"... tomorrow I will go and buy ice cream. Tonight you are going to have to serve yourself with whatever we have there. I think there are some cookies on the second shelf inside the cabinet. Be careful! You're not tall enough to get it so use a-"

"Already got it!"

"... Thomas did you climb the counter with socks on?"

"... how do you know?"

"Ugh... fine just... eat those cookies and go to bed before midnight! Okay?"

"Alright dad! Love you! Have fun!"

"Love you too... and he's gone" Patton said, pulling the phone away and chuckling to himself. He shook his head and walked back out, all the eyes turned to him making him blush.

"Is everything alright?" Virgil asked, always the one worried about everything, and Patton chuckled softly.

"Yeah, Thomas wanted ice cream so he called me to whine about it. The usual" he said, getting in his spot again and sitting down. He looked around to see Janus staring at him, and the host sipped on his wine before shifting on his chair.

"So Thomas... is your son correct?" he asked, and Patton nodded, smiling at him.

"Yes he is. My good old boy Thomas."

"How... old is he?" Janus asked, clearly curious, but there was something else in his eyes Patton couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"He is fifteen. Just started high school" he said proudly. He was very proud of Thomas.

Remus just let out a chuckle, shaking his head.

"Having a kid in high school? Being a single dad to a teenage boy? Working at a toy store to pay your bills? Your life sounds like a living nightmare" he said, and it wasn't as mean as it was just... honest. But Patton just turned to him and smiled.

"Many people see it like that, but in all honesty, it is extremely rewarding. I took Thomas in when he was recently born, and even though most people thought I was too young and naïve to have a child and raise them on my own, I didn't listen to them and did the best I could. I got a job instead of going to college, I rented a small apartment, and I was the best I could be, saving money everywhere I could, and now I am able to pay my rent, make sure he always has whatever he wants to eat, buy him presents, and he is just a lovely kid. He is sweet, smart, talented, everything I could ever wish for, and I think I raised him really well. So yes, it sounds like a nightmare to most, but to me it was a dream! A dream come true! I don't have much, but gosh the love I have for my kid, and the love he has for me too, it is so much more than any successful job or material gain, or even romance could ever give me. Everyone has their own desires, and mine was always to have a kid and put them into the world. So I am fulfilling my dream. Are you fulfilling yours?"

That end wasn't supposed to feel so rude, but it was honest. Patton... loved his life. He wouldn't change it for the world. And the look on Remus' face, of both surprise and shame, made him feel bad but proud at the same time, because that showed that Remus hadn't even found his dream yet, let alone conquered it.

Everyone had a different dream. He knew Logan's consisted mostly in teaching everything he knew and learning more and more every day; Roman's was to make sure children knew that dreams were possible and having someone in his life to love and cherish until the day he died; and Virgil's was to live a peaceful life with friends and take care of the little things that made him happy, like the flowers he sold in his shop and the animals he took care of in his spare time. Everyone had a different dream, and from what he could see, Remus had one too, hidden underneath layers and layers of lies and façades he wore.

And Janus... well... Patton didn't know.

"Well, this talk is all funky and dory but I am fucking done with you and I want to get wasted, high and fuck" Remus said, clearly having enough, and walking to Janus, handing him his glass. "Have fun talking to your guests. We are having one of those nights" he added, and left the room looking pissed off. Janus sighed and put his glasses down, looking at the four friends at the couch and giving them an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry. I think... he wasn't ready to see you."

"Um... if you don't mind me asking... what does it mean, when he says 'one of those nights'?" Roman asked, always way too curious, but Janus just sighed and shook his head at the question.

"Remus and I are in an open relationship. Usually we don't have anything with anyone else but tonight it seems like he wants to" he said, shrugging, but he didn't seem too happy or settled in that regard. And Patton wasn’t the only one who saw it.

"You don't seem happy with that arrangement" Virgil said, tilting his head at Janus. "You know open and polyamorous relationships are supposed to bring as much happiness as monogamous relationships right? If you don't like it... or don't accept it... it is still cheating."

"Oh I know. And I like it and accept it. I just don't like his reasoning behind it sometimes" Janus said, smiling softly at Virgil. "Thank you for your worry but you don't have to think about it. I know how to handle him. So. Any of you want anything else? A drink, some food?"

"I would love to eat something" Roman said, and Logan agreed with a nod, so Janus reached for the phone on the table next to him and called someone, telling them the food would be on its way soon.

They stayed the rest of the night in that room, forgetting about the party downstairs, eating and drinking until they were full and drunk. Patton decided not to drink much, so he wouldn't do something he would regret later, and they all parted their ways at around one in the morning, being accompanied by Janus to the car and making sure Logan would drive, since he was sober.

Janus watched them leave by the entrance of the house, the party still going strong inside, and Patton couldn't help but watch him and wave shyly, blushing a bit when Janus sent him his usual side smile.

He was beautiful... and very dangerous. Patton knew that very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving my computer away to get fixed so sorry if I stop updating for a few days!


	6. Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of drugs and alcohol.
> 
> Patton and Janus' POVs! (it begins)

As planned before hand, once the party was over for them, Logan drove them all home in Roman’s car. He left Virgil at his house first, then Roman, then Patton last, since he would keep Roman’s car in his garage and give it back in the next day. Once he stopped in front of Patton’s house, he didn’t open the doors immediately, instead looking at his friend with a firm expression.

“Are we really not going to talk about what happened?” he asked, tilting his head, and Patton gave him a confused look, trying to pretend as if he didn’t know what Logan was talking about.

“Logan, I told you I am fine...” he said, quietly, but Logan did that Spock thing with his eyebrow, and Patton bit his bottom lip before sighing quietly to himself. “I don’t know what you want me to say Lo...”

“The truth Patton... That’s all I want. If you are fine, great, but something inside me says you’re not, and you’re just doing that thing you do when you don’t want to talk about your feelings. Like when you hide them and just suck everything up like a sponge or whatever” he said, Logan wasn’t the best at expressions or at talking about feelings, but he was trying really hard for Patton, and he couldn’t just deny his best friend some explanation.

“Logan, you know everything that happened. You know what Janus did, what I did, how we fell apart... I don’t have to tell you anything because you know.”

“Yes Patton, I know what happened, but I have no idea how this knew knowledge is affection you right now, at this moment” he said, reaching out, taking Patton’s hand on his own. “It was a surprise, to see Janus again. To know that he will be directly involved in our lives. It was uncomfortable even for me, because I never thought I would see him again, ever! But clearly we will. I will see him everyday, Thomas will talk about him to you, and clearly whatever Roman, Remus and Virgil have isn’t going to end in one unsuccessful night. So it would be better for everyone if you told me now how you are feeling, so we can deal with it sooner rather than later, and avoid complications.”

Patton looked at Logan, feeling such a deep love for him that he couldn’t even explain. After everything Logan had done for him, always staying by his side, helping him with everything, being just the amazing person he was, Patton didn’t think he could deny him anything. So he sighed, squeezing Logan’s hand, and nodded.

“Alright. I am currently tipsy and very tired, but tomorrow, after my shift at the store, we can meet up at that coffee shop down the street and talk, okay?” he asked, and Logan let out a resigned sigh, nodding at Patton.

“Tomorrow at five, at the coffee shop” he agreed, letting go of Patton and unlocking the car. “And please, don’t hesitate to call me if you ever need anything.”

“I would never” Patton chuckled and waved, grabbing his phone and rushing out of the car. “Bye Logan!”

“Bye Patton” Logan responded, waving and driving off, while Patton unlocked the door and walked inside the house, only to find the TV on, and an asleep Thomas on the couch, curled up around a pillow. A fond smile made his way on Patton’s face and he walked closer, knowing he didn’t have the strength to carry Thomas upstairs anymore. So, he gently shook his shoulder until his eyes opened slightly, and he chuckled.

“Come on kiddo... it’s sleeping time” he whispered, helping Thomas up and not being able to stop his smile at every yawn Thomas let out, holding onto him, being guided towards his room in his sleepy state. Once they got upstairs, Patton pulled the sheets and helped him in, covering him up and kissing his head, while Thomas immediately closed his eyes and fell asleep again. “Sleep tight kiddo...”

Thomas didn’t answer, already in the land of dreams and fantasies, but he didn’t have to.

Patton went back downstairs to turn the TV off and make sure the doors were locked, before he walked up to his room again. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, changed into his pajamas and laid down on his bed, finally getting some peace and quiet at that busy and wild night.

Of course, those were the worst moments in Patton’s mind, because his thoughts seemed to grow louder, loud enough to make him deaf, and all his anxieties and fears came to hang out, consuming him whole.

And with Janus back in the play, he couldn’t help but feel like his performance was getting short on quality.

For years he had been forcing himself not to think of him, pushing every mention of his name to the inside of his brain so he wouldn’t see it, making sure to give new meanings to things that normally reminded him of Janus, and denying any dream or thought that had to do with him. Now, it seemed like all of that had been for nothing, because as soon as he closed his eyes, in the quietness of his bedroom, every single thought he had hidden away during those years came back like a torpedo and exploded the whole ship in thousands of pieces.

It was like a hurricane taking his house away and destroying it piece by piece.

Janus just looked so... perfect.

He sounded so... mature.

His laugh was so... heartwarming.

Everything about him was... beautiful.

Like it had been, once.

_“Patton, may I be honest with you?”_

_Taking his attention away from the beautiful stars up in the sky, Patton looked to the side, finding Janus still completely focused on the shining dots, eyes slightly narrowed, making the marks on the left side of his face even more predominant._

_Breathtaking._

_“When can’t you be?” Patton asked, playful as ever, and the small smile that crossed Janus’ face made his heart fill up with joy. He turned his head, slowly, and their eyes met, and Patton felt breathless. His honey colored eyes always made him feel... small and vulnerable. Like they could see deep inside his soul._

_“I don’t understand when you say that I’m beautiful” he said, his voice soft and calm, like that phrase didn’t hold back all the insecurities Janus had about himself. “You say it almost all the time... I just don’t understand it. I am... not beautiful. I am the opposite of beautiful. In every sense of the word. And yet you insist... I’m beautiful. Why?”_

_Patton never had a good way with words. He never felt like they could express what he really thought or felt in a way that other people could understand or believe on what he was saying. But he would try, anyway._

_“My parents taught me that beautiful is not something that applies only to aesthetics... I mean, I do think you are aesthetically beautiful, but they made sure to teach me that beauty is... relative, and it comes in many other forms than what we are presented with. A lady doesn’t have to be feminine and wear make up and wear fancy clothes to be beautiful. A man doesn’t have to be strong, fearless and mainly to be beautiful. Beauty comes in many forms... what they taught me was that... beauty is something that makes you breathless. When you feel your heart rate go up, when your lugs lack air, when you smile without meaning to, whatever you are looking at, feeling, or thinking... that’s beautiful. So... you are beautiful. To me. Because when I look at you, my breath leaves my lungs. Because when we touch, my heartbeats go faster than a bunny’s. Because when you talk, all I want to do is listen. You may not find yourself beautiful, rarely people find themselves beautiful, but I think you’re beautiful. And nothing will ever change my mind.”_

_Janus looked at him with the same calm expression he always wore, his little mask that he liked to wear to protect himself from the harshness of the outside world. But that mask broke off too soon, too easily, because around Patton it was made of the most delicate of glasses, and could crack with a gust of wind._

_And when his eyes teared up, Patton knew it wasn’t because he was sad, not entirely. And when he turned his body towards Patton’s, moving closer, and pressing their foreheads together just in time for a soft sob to come out of his mouth, Patton knew that it was his way of saying ‘thank you’._

_While they hugged, foreheads pressed together, Patton watched Janus’ face and all the little expressions it made, from the tears to the sighs and the softness of his frown as he finally calmed down again. The stars seemed to have a distant beauty now, obfuscated by Janus’ light._

_It didn’t matter if one day, Janus hurt Patton beyond belief._

_He would always be beautiful._

_Always._

\-----------------------------

By the time the party finally ended, Janus was already in bed, looking at the wall, waiting for... whatever it was. He didn’t look up when Remus made his way inside, and didn’t even move when he laid down, moving closer and wrapping his arms about Janus’ waist, kissing his neck and down his shoulder as he usually did.

“Babe... you there?” Remus asked once Janus didn’t respond, but eventually he came out of his trance, shifting his body so he could look at his boyfriend, finding him with a confused expression on his face.

“Yes. Sorry. I got distracted” Janus said, tilting his head and giving Remus a soft peck. “So, how was your night? And who did you have fun with?”

“Well, no one. After I left that boring ass room I remembered you don’t like when I sleep around just because I feel angry and stuff so I just got high and drank. A lot” he grinned, and Janus gave him a sly smile, nodding at his boyfriend.

“Yes, I can smell it Remus darling. Now what about we sleep a little? It’s almost six am and I have to get my sleeping schedule back on track if I want to be a good history teacher.”

“Do you want to be a good history teacher?” Remus asked, smirking wide, and Janus chuckled deeply, shaking his head and pushing him away.

“Sleep you big freak” he said, kissing him softly again and then cuddling up to his large and very warm boyfriend. Remus tightened his hold around Janus and kissed his head, falling asleep quite quickly in their completely isolated and dark room. Janus, however, wasn’t as lucky, keeping his eyes closed and his face laying on Remus’ chest, but having his thoughts running a mile a second, going through every little thing that had happened on that night.

Patton... how long since they had last seen each other...

How long since...

He took a deep breath, forcing himself not to think about it, knowing if he started to unravel the past he would end up unable to sleep for a whole week and that was not what he wanted. He closed his Pandora box again, keeping it locked up and safe inside his mind, pressing his face further against Remus’ naked chest and breathing him in, his smell of alcohol, sweat and cologne that was weirdly familiar and comforting.

He didn’t have a peaceful sleep, but he was able to at least get some rest, without thinking too much about... anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this i love this i love this


	7. I'm...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: swear words; Logan crying; Patton crying.

In the next morning, it was like nothing had ever happened. The day started pretty much the same for everyone. Logan woke up and drove to Roman’s house to leave his car back at his garage, Virgil opened his store early despite his light hangover, making sure to put his best flowers on display and begin working on his bouquets and vases, Roman left his flat to go and begin his morning lessons at his tiny theater studio, and Patton woke up early to make him and Thomas some delicious breakfast, so he could leave at ten and get to the toy store to work for the rest of the day.

By the time Patton was finishing the coffee, he heard steps coming from the stairs and smiled to himself, serving Thomas’ plate with some delicious eggs and bacon.

“Good morning, favorite son” he said, in a singing voice, to which Thomas responded with a chuckle and a loud yawn. He sat down, pulling the plate closer to himself, smiling when Patton served him some coffee and sat down in front of him. “How did you sleep?”

“I slept great, specially after you made me go to bed” he said, getting a spoonful of eggs and shoving them into his mouth. “So dad, tell me about the party. How was it? How is Roman’s brother? Was it fun?”

“Well kiddo, you know how your dad is like. Even if it had been awful I would still have found ways of having fun” he chuckled, and sipped on his coffee. “But yes, it was fun, I had a blast. I think even Virgil and Roman had fun too. The only one that did not seem to enjoy himself at all was Roman’s brother, but I understand. Virgil and Roman were quite mean to him, even if he was rude and inconvenient.”

“So he is as rude as Virg and Ro said he was?” Thomas asked, tilting his head, and Patton chuckled.

“You can say so yes” he said softly. “Although I feel like there’s more than just meanness inside of him, if you know what I mean.”

“I do. But I’m happy you enjoyed yourself” Thomas said, grinning and eating some more. “And how is his house? Is he like... wealthy or something?”

“Oh yes he lives in a mansion. It’s huge. So many rooms. Three floors. It’s wild” Patton chuckled and Thomas giggled. “I did have a lot of fun. Logan was very useful, as always, he kept the room steady and made sure we were all at least civil towards each other. And the food was amazing!”

“Talking about food, are you going to buy me the ice cream I asked for?” Thomas asked, blinking quickly to make his face cuter, and Patton raised his eyebrow before chuckling.

“Sure, sure. I’m going to meet Logan after my shift and when I come back I will buy you some ice cream okay?” he asked, and Thomas punched the air in happiness before finishing his plate of eggs and bacon. “What do you have to do today?”

“Some homework during morning, as usual, but after lunch I think I’m gonna meet Joan so we can like hang out and stuff. They bought a new video game they want me to play... I think it’s horror so I’m not sure but once I get there I’ll check!”

“Make sure you don’t get too scared, you know how you are with horror games and movies” Patton said and then smiled. “Make sure to tell them I said hello. And if you want you can take some of the cookies with you, I know Joan loves those.”

“They do” Thomas grinned and finished his coffee. “Well now I’m gonna go and work on some homework I have. See you later pops!”

“See you later kiddo!” Patton said, watching as Thomas rushed upstairs. He smiled, shaking his head, his heart filled with fondness for Thomas, before he gathered everything, washed the dishes and left for his shift.

\----------------------

As usual, the morning was very quiet and chill for Virgil, which gladly allowed him to let go of the headache he was having and just enjoy the scents and pretty colors of the flowers he had in stock. He sold a few flowers here and there, considering he was a well known flower shop in the neighborhood, but usually his sales peaked in the late afternoon, when men were going home from work and wanted to present their wives or girlfriends with something. So he liked taking a break for lunch around noon, where he would usually go to the small business nearby and eat some nice sandwich or something to ease his stomach.

That was precisely the time that someone entered his store, and he turned around, ready to greet the new client, only to see someone he knew coming inside.

“Roman, I’m going to my lunch break” he said, annoyed, and Roman rolled his eyes as he approached the counter.

“I know you are, that’s why I came. Lunch is on me come on, we have to talk” he said, and Virgil immediately tensed up before forcing himself to calm down. It wasn’t something bad, he knew when Roman was angry, nothing to panic.

He grabbed his wallet and his cellphone and accompanied Roman to the door, turning the sign to ‘closed’ and locking the door before getting inside his car and checking his phone for any emails or messages. As he drove, Virgil got himself distracted, not too worried about where he was taking him, because Roman knew what type of food he liked and Virgil was tired of insisting on going to affordable places when it came to Roman.

Clearly sometimes his old way of living came back and stayed.

So Virgil couldn’t say he was surprised when Roman parked the car in front of a fancy nature-themed restaurant in a nice suburban part of town. He wasn’t surprised, but he wasn’t very happy either. Still, he just followed Roman out without saying anything, until they were taken to their table, where he sat down and put his phone in his pocket, grabbing the menu to check it.

Roman did the same, which worried Virgil a bit. When they had these silent moments, it meant the talk was serious, or at least a bit less carefree than usual, which made him uneasy all the time. He chose some pineapple juice for drinks, and Roman asked for some fancy drink with no alcohol in it, and then they finally looked at each other again, Virgil waiting silently for Roman to start the conversation.

“It’s about yesterday.”

Yeah, no shit.

“What about yesterday?” Virgil asked, tilting his head, already dreading the theme of that conversation. What about yesterday? Had he said something wrong? Was Roman thinking about something? What about yesterday? Was it about Remus?

“That guy, Janus” Roman said, and Virgil immediately relaxed and tensed up again. He knew where this was going. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice. You’re the best at noticing things.”

“You mean like how he and Patton and Logan clearly knew each other?” Virgil asked, and Roman’s eyes widened before he sighed in relief.

“Yes! Oh god I thought I was going crazy!” he said, thanking the waiter as she brought their drinks. “Do you have any idea of what was going on? Did Patton or Logan ever mention anything to you? Because I am at a total loss.”

“If I’m being honest, no, I don’t remember Logan or Patton saying anything about knowing... well a guy like Janus. I don’t even remember ever hearing that name before” Virgil said, looking away in thought. “But... I mean, there are so many things we don’t know about them Ro. Things they don’t know about us. We are close friends but we know each other for what? Ten years? That’s not a lot at our age.”

“I know, I know, but... ugh, you know how I am Virge!” Roman said, pouting. “I can’t help it! I love gossip and something very gossipy is happening between those three! But I don’t want to be rude and like, just straight up ask them about it! What if that corners them up?”

“As much as I would normally agree with you about... not pushing things, by their interactions yesterday it doesn’t seem like they have such a bad history. Patton seemed very comfortable around Janus, and vice versa. Logan was the one that seemed most bothered about it all.”

“Yeah... maybe Logan is in the center of this question... maybe we could ask Patton about it? He’s always open for like, talking about stuff” Roman said, excited, but Virgil gave him a glance.

“Would you like if they came and asked me about your relationship with Remus?” he asked, dryly, and Roman let out a whine.

“But it’s different-”

“It’s not. Come on, we have parts of us we don’t want to talk about. Pieces of our history we don’t want to remember. If this... Janus guy hadn’t been a nuance or someone special to them, they would have told us. Come on, Patton told us about all his abusive relationships, he trusts us. I think we should give them some time.”

“Ugh, you and your... times. Fine” Roman huffed, crossing his arms and looking at Virgil. “Go ahead and ask for your lunch, mister cockblock.”

“Oh shut up” Virgil chuckled, opening the menu and humming to himself. “Do they have vegan food?”

“Of course they do.”

“You know me so well princey.”

“Don’t call me that!”

\--------------------------

When his shift ended, Patton made his way to the coffee shop as he and Logan had agreed on. When he arrived, the teacher was already waiting for him, so he made his way to his table and sat down, smiling at the waitress that came over and asking her for some tea and cookies. When his glance went back to Logan, he had an eyebrow raised, and Patton felt himself blushing.

“I know six cookies is a bit too much but I like eating cookies when I’m nervous” Patton said, and Logan let out a sigh before nodding and fixing himself on his chair.

“Can we talk? About yesterday?”

“Um, yes. That’s why you called me here, isn’t it?” Patton asked, looking at Logan with an insecure expression, and the teacher noticed it, sighing and assuming a more relaxed body language.

“Patton... I want to make sure you are okay” he said, softly, in a tone of voice he only used when his friends were hurt or suffering. “I am very much aware that you like to push your feelings in and never talk about them and that’s just not healthy. You need to express what you’re feeling. And I need to know that, so I can help you in the best way I possibly can.”

“Logan, you help me way too much” Patton said, honestly, with a deep sigh coming through his nose, before he fixed his glasses and sighed loudly through his mouth. “Sometimes I don’t want to bother you because... gosh, you’ve done so much for me already. Like, so much Lo. I don’t think you ever realize. And I’m scared that if I keep putting my problems over you, you’re going to grow tired. No one should... have to carry someone like me on their back, and you’ve done it for years. I feel guilty...”

“Patton, none of that is a burden” Logan said, his voice firm and decisive. “You never were and will never be a burden. You were my first friend, my first best friend, and you never gave up on me. Without you, I don’t know where I would be, with my inability to be social and make friends. I would be lonely, depressed and unhappy, and you are the reason I’m not. So please believe me when I say that no matter how much you’re suffering, it will never be too much for me. Now please... please just be honest with me. Tell me how you felt. Tell me how you’re feeling, right now. Because Whether we want it or not, Janus will be part of our lives again. He will be Thomas’ history teacher, which means he will probably talk to you about Janus a lot. And if you think Roman and Remus are done with their little fights, you’re wrong. I just want to know what ground we are stepping on, what I have to bring for this new chapter in our lives.”

Patton swore he would start crying at any moment. Logan had no idea how... incredible he was. His eyes teared up but he wiped them down and offered his hand, which Logan took on his own, their fingers intertwining over the table. Then he sighed, and nodding slowly, wiping his eyes again.

“Okay... I’ll tell you how I felt. How I’m feeling. And we will enter this new chapter together...” he whispered, and looked up again, giving him a shaky smile. “So believe me when I say that I’m-“

_“- fine.”_

_Logan stared at him with the most worried expression Patton had ever seen in his face, his dark eyes shining with tears while he held Patton’s shoulders, firmly._

_“You’re not fine Patton, stop lying to me!” Logan cried out, and pulled him for a hug, and not in all their thirteen years of friendship Patton had ever seen Logan so upset. Not when his parents took away his toys, or when he failed his first test, or even when his pet hamster died a year prior. He let out a sob against Patton’s shoulder, enough to make Patton himself start crying again, arms wrapping around his best friend as tightly as he could. “Please... please stop lying to me... be honest with me... for once... I don’t ever want you to suffer... you’re my best friend... let me help...”_

_The tears in Patton’s eyes slid down his cheeks slowly, meeting Logan’s shoulder, and a sob made its way out of his throat, his arms tightening as hard as he could around Logan, face pressing against his soft sweater, the tears coming down his eyes like waterfalls._

_He wasn’t fine, but Logan was there._

_Logan was always there._

_He would always be there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear if I ever stop writing this story assume I died. I love it. I LOVE IT.


	8. One on One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Remus and Janus not being very healthy, and fights.

“Hey babe! What are you doing?” Remus asked with his usual singing voice, making his way into Janus’ office, walking all the way to where he was sitting down, curved over his work. Janus moved his head to the side, allowing Remus to lean down and kiss his cheek, before he sighed loudly.

“I’m working on my Monday class. Who knew being a teacher would be so much work” he said, sighing loudly and pushing his chair away to look at the notebook from a distance. “Do you think this timeline is confusing or the students will be able to understand it?”

“It’s a timeline Janus, if they can’t understand a timeline then you better just get rid of them” Remus chuckled, turning Janus’ chair towards himself and smirking. “It’s already eight. Why don’t you give yourself a break and come downstairs... I bought us dinner... and something special...”

“As much as your offer delights me, no” Janus said, coldly, the offer not enticing him the slightest. “I have to finish this if I want to give my students a good first impression, so why don’t you take those buff legs of yours, make me a plate, bring it here to me, and then go do whatever you do when we are not together? Hun?”

Remus gave him an annoyed stare and rolled his eyes, giving Janus a middle finger before leaving the room.

“You can go serve yourself. I’ll be downstairs playing video games if you need me. But of course you won’t” he said, closing the door a bit harder than he needed to, and Janus rolled his eyes and sighed at his childish boyfriend, wondering when in heavens Remus would stop acting like a kid.

Pushing those thoughts asides, Janus went back to his timeline, wondering if he could do anything to make it easier to be understood. He knew out of his own experiences that some things weren’t as easy as they seemed for students, so he wanted to make sure every single one of the children he would teach would know and understand at least the basics.

Thinking about that, he couldn’t help but remember his own time during high school. He remembered how history always came so easily to him, while other subjects like sciences and math always made him feel stupid and cry during test weeks. Luckily he had friends to help, but...

Oh, great. There he was again. Thinking about... _them._

Janus shook his head and focused on his work again, now a little more motivated to get those thoughts out of his head. While he worked on the rest of the class, ignoring the timeline for the time being, he found a nice way of connecting all the dots, from the beginning of civilization all the way to the stone age, where he would stop and continue with the second class.

He was focused and distracted enough that he didn’t hear or notice the door opening and a plate of food being left in the table next to it, nor he noticed the door closing.

Remus knew he wasn’t the best boyfriend ever, hell he knew he wasn’t even the best friend ever, but Janus should have given him a break.

If humiliating him in front of his brother and his amazing friends wasn’t enough, he was barely giving him any attention since this whole school thing started. When they decided to move, specifically to where Virgil and Roman were living, Remus thought he and Janus would have time to just... be fancy and walk around and make sure those two felt inferior and bad, but no. Janus was 100% invested in teaching, and now, Remus just found out that not only his brother was successful and had amazing friends, but also that Janus knew those friends somehow and now, he felt even more left out.

In the end, it really did seem like there was no way of winning anything against Roman.

With a loud sigh, Remus grabbed his video game control and laid down on the couch, turning on some GTA and starting to play just to let off some steam. At least his shop was on it’s way of getting done, and soon he would be able to leave Janus with his school stuff and spend the entire day tattooing people, like he had always wanted to do. He would meet the punks and queer folk of the town, and he would probably make some friends, and maybe soon he would be able to show off how many friends he had and how much better he was than Roman.

Maybe. Probably not.

Remus sighed loudly and threw the control away, pushing his hands against his eyes and laying down on the couch in defeat before looking up at the ceiling. Fuck, he was really growing tired of this. He was so old, he hadn’t talked to Roman in years... why now? Why did he had to make such a stupid decision, he could have moved anywhere, everywhere, and no, he moved to Roman’s little town, to make him feel like shit.

And... he hadn’t even told him the news yet.

Fuck.

The whole reason why he looked for Roman in the first place, and he had been rude to him for a whole night, just because of his jealousy or whatever.

He just needed some time. Some time to do something right, make sure Roman knew he was getting himself back on track, and then he would tell.

He would tell.

Sure.

One day.

Maybe.

\---------------------

By the time Patton left the coffee shop, it was already dark out. Turned out, he and Logan had much more to talk than he previously anticipated. As he drove home, he passed by Virgil’s store, smiling and parking the car to watch his friend close the doors and turn around to face him.

“A little too late to be closing, isn’t it Virge?” Patton asked, and Virgil smiled at him, walking towards his car and leaning against the door.

“Maybe, but Roman took me for lunch today so like, you know. I had to make up for the lost time” he said, and Patton chuckled.

“Yeah I sure do. Are you going home? Need a lift?”

“Patton, of course” Virgil said, smiling and hopping inside the car, closing the door and humming to himself. “Thanks man.”

“Welcome Virge” Patton chuckled, driving off. “I never understand why you don’t drive all the way here. You do have a motorbike.”

“I told you so many times, it’s my daily exercise. If I drive here every day I will have no excuse to walk. And like, I need it. My anxiety requires me to move at least a little every day. So walk from home to store and back every day” he said, and chuckled. “Even though you and Roman tend to always come by at the right time to pick me up.”

“I bet Logan would too if he had a car” Patton said, and Virgil nodded, giving him a gentle nudge.

“When you have the best friends in the world, why complain?” he asked, smiling and leaning back against the seat. He was about to grab his phone when the talk with Roman came into his mind, and he couldn’t help but grow curious, looking at Patton by the corner of his eyes before pretending to check his phone. “So. What about the party yesterday? Did you suffer as much as I did?”

“You didn’t suffer at all Virgil, come on. You were laughing your face off by the time we left” Patton said, smiling, and Virgil chuckled to himself.

“Well yeah yeah, you caught me there... I thought I would hate seeing Remus again, and I did, but that Janus guy was just too fun to hang around with” he said, pressing his lips together because he wasn’t good at pretending like he didn’t want something, like Roman was. He wasn’t very discrete.

“He sure was!” Patton answered, with his usual glee, and that made Virgil feel a bit confused. That only showed that maybe Roman was right. Maybe Patton wasn’t directly involved with Janus. “I do think he was a bit too rude with Remus, but then again, Remus can be very...”

“Annoying? Irritating? A bitch?” Virgil asked, unable to keep his mouth shut, and Patton let out a soft chuckle.

“Inconvenient. Although... I don’t know. Something about him felt off. Maybe you and Roman should give him a chance.”

“A chance? For that freak? Yeah no” Virgil said, crossing his arms. “There’s no way I’m giving him any second chances. I hate his guts.”

“Alright, Virgil, alright. But remember that he and Roman are brothers... and sometimes a bond that strong shouldn’t be broken by third parties” Patton said, finally parking in front of Virgil’s house and giving him a sweet smile. “Keep that in mind. You wouldn’t want to hurt Roman even more.”

Virgil frowned lightly at that and whispered a ‘goodbye’ to Patton before he walked out, suddenly feeling an awkward tug in his chest. What Patton said... was he right? He shook his head in denial, heading inside his flat and turning on the lights. No. Remus had hurt him and Roman too much, almost destroyed their friendship, and he didn’t deserve a second chance.

Patton wasn’t going to convince him otherwise.

\---------------------

When Logan walked out of the coffee shop, he walked all the way to the bus stop, waiting around for the next one so he could go home. He got distracted by his daily puzzle in his phone, only noticing the car in front of him when they hunk at him, making him jump up.

“Hey hottie, wanna ride?” Roman asked from inside his car, smirking, wearing sunglasses that he clearly just picked up for that moment because it was nighttime already, and Logan couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“I despise everything you just did, but I will accept your invitation, mainly because the bus will still take fifteen minutes to arrive” he said, grabbing his bag and walking to Roman’s car, getting inside and putting the seat belt as Roman drove off, removing his sunglasses.

“What are you doing here so late? Don’t you have classes to prepare or whatever?” Roman asked, lowering the volume of his radio so they could talk.

“After five years giving the same classes, I don’t think I have much to redo” Logan said, crossing his legs and checking his phone again for his puzzle. “Besides, science is in constant change, but school subjects don’t follow those regards anyway, so I might as well teach the same class Plato taught back in the Greek times and the school council will be happy. Amateurs.”

“Ouch. Someone is not happy with what they are lecturing” Roman chuckled, nudging Logan and smiling at him. “But I don’t care about, you know, anything you have to say about science, so why don’t we talk about last night? Did you enjoy the party?”

“It was fine.”

“Did you like my brother?”

“I don’t have enough data about him to make an honest analyses of his personality and know, for a fact, if I like his company or not.”

“But from what you had last night... do you like him?”

“... no. I do not.”

“Cool, what about his boyfriend?”

Logan was quiet then, truly a rare sight, and Roman had to press his lips together to avoid smiling over his curiosity. After a moment, Logan let out a sigh, and shrugged.

“Indifferent.”

“You took almost a minute to say one word... why did you have to think so much?” Roman asked, having to control his excitement. “I thought he was neat.”

“Well, sometimes people just don’t... clash” Logan said, dryly. “Anyway, could you please be quiet now? I have five minutes to solve this puzzle and it turned out to be slightly more complicated than I previously anticipated.”

“Oh come on Logan! Talk to me!” Roman said, grabbing Logan’s phone and putting it away, smiling at his offended gasp. “I had never seen you looking so angry at someone before! And you talked so much to Patton! You seemed so uncomfortable! You know Janus, don’t you?”

“I knew it. You never do anything nice just for the sake of it, do you Roman?” Logan asked, sounding truly offended, and Roman’s eyes widened, turning to face the teacher who was glaring at him with an angry expression. “You are always so curious. You love some gossip. You can’t ever wait until people are ready to talk to you about things, you always have to know everything first hand. Yes, I know Janus. Yes, I was uncomfortable with his presence. No, I won’t tell you why. Now stop this car in the next sign. I don’t want your company anymore.”

“L-Logan, I...”

“Stop the car” Logan said, firmly, and Roman did, eyes wide as he handed his phone back to Logan. The teacher stared at him angrily ad got out of the car, before looking inside through the window. “Next time, try not to be so childish. Learn how to be an adult.”

“Logan...”

“See you later, Roman” he said, angrily, and made his way to the nearby bus stop, since they had barely walked enough to get him closer to his home.

And Roman drove of because he knew that Logan didn’t solve things as quickly as other people.

He just couldn’t help but feel bad about his behaviour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone ugh pls I love this so much.


	9. Mondays are always Mondays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Remus being a bit creepy, and fights. Many fights. Logan is pissed.

For the rest of the weekend, nothing too big or strange happened. Patton worked on his shifts and did his usual Sunday routines with Thomas (which basically meant watching movies, eating snacks and laughing over stupid jokes), cleaned the house a bit and talked to his friends over message, as usual. He tried not to think too much about, well, anything, since he would very much rather just wait until something happened to deal with it.

Logan didn’t do much either. He prepared his classes, cleaned his apartment and watched some documentaries with his cat all Sunday long, eating his healthy snacks so he wouldn’t get too far from his diet and even walking a little bit more than he usually did.

Roman spent the rest of the weekend feeling like shit for upsetting Logan, but decided to wait until the teacher was feeling better to actually go and apologize for his behavior. So he focused all his energies on his theater classes, that did happen some eventual Sundays, and worked on some dresses designs for the new season, like his boss told him to do.

And Virgil, well, he did what he always did. He worked on his shop for half of the day, and then he went to the animal shelter he worked on Sundays during the afternoon, taking off the stress of the week by playing with the kitties and puppies and the random animals that sometimes showed up.

A typical weekend for all of them.

Monday arrived once again, and it seemed like a freaking month had passed since Thomas’ first day of school. But it had only been a week. So Patton woke up early, made their breakfast, and drove Thomas to school, waving at him as he made his way inside the school grounds. Then he left, going to do what he did every Monday: clean the house, visit Virgil and visit Roman at his theater classes.

Logan also did the same he always did, waking up extra early, feeding himself and Data, and then grabbing all his stuff and leaving. However today was, well, going to be a strange day at least.

Once arriving at the school, he made his way to the teacher’s lounge area and put his materials inside his locker. Then he headed over to the coffee maker with his mug and began reading over his notes when one of his friends and colleagues approached.

“Hey Logan, come on, we have a meeting right now. It’s an emergence meeting, you didn’t lose anything.”

Logan didn’t even have time to be worried or relieved. His friend pulled him out of the lounge and towards the meeting room, where all the teachers (but the ones that always came in late of course) were standing, waiting. And by the end of the table, the principal, and Janus.

Oh yes. Janus.

Their eyes locked on each other from that huge distance and Logan couldn’t help but frown at that, remembering the talk during Friday’s party. He was the new history teacher. It wasn’t like Logan had forgotten, more like he didn’t want to remember.

“Hey, everyone, yes I know it isn’t a good time, but this will be brief” the principal said, and all the teachers that were talking shut up. “This is Janus, he is our new history teacher, and it is his first day, so I would like for you all to be polite and show him around the school, and things like that. You guys know the drill.”

Logan couldn’t help but huff quietly, crossing his arms over his chest, unable to contain his dislike for the situation. Having to see Janus in a party was one thing. Seeing him every single day for the rest year or even more... that was very uncomfortable.

“Actually if you don’t mind, I know someone here” Janus said, and Logan’s eyes widened. What? He wasn’t going to... “Logan, could you show me around?”

Oh, if he wasn’t a logical and polite human being, he would have flipped the table with Janus’ audacity.

“Of course. Not like I have anything better to do” Logan said, in a way that wasn’t very characteristic of himself because, well, he didn’t tend to act so childishly, but Janus brought up the worst in him. The principal and all the other teachers seemed confused too, but he nodded quickly.

“Good great. Janus, welcome to our school! Now everyone back to work!”

Logan, unlike what would be expected by the supposed guide, turned around and left the room quite quickly. If Janus wanted him to tell him how the school worked, he would have to keep up with his pace. He walked back to the lounge, where his coffee awaited, and took his mug and his notes, sitting down at the table nearby and checking them over.

It took Janus around two minutes to finally reach him.

“Are you seriously going to act like this?” Janus asked as he sat down, notes in hand, but Logan looked at him with a cold expression and raised his eyebrow.

“You chose me because you wanted to. Now, follow my pace, you get someone else to be your guide in this new adventure” he said, dryly, and looked back down at his notes, rereading them since he had completely forgotten everything due to this... sudden happening.

“You weren’t this rude to me at the party, I though you would be over everything now that like, almost twenty years have passed” Janus said, crossing his arms, and Logan closed his notes, lifting his head and looking at Janus deep in the eyes.

“Having to deal with you at a party when I am surrounded by friends that don’t know anything that happened is one thing. Having to deal with you for the rest of the school year in my work place without anyone around me that knows what happened or even care if we know each other or not is another. You always loved to slither your way in places you weren’t invited to, but this is mine, and I won’t let you take it from me. So if you want someone that will be sweet and show you around and will be your friend during this year, you better request someone else.”

With that said, Logan stood up and took his notes and himself away from the table, getting out of the teacher’s lounge since he clearly wouldn’t have any peace and quiet in there. He headed over to the laboratories, since Janus didn’t know where they were located just yet, and specially because only the science teachers had the keys to, so he could lock himself inside and study his notes for the class.

Janus would not ruin his school year for him.

\-------------------------

Virgil was in the middle of giving a client some of the vases they had requested when he heard the first ‘bang’ coming from outside. He didn’t pay much attention to it, getting the client’s change and receipt, but once they left the store he heard another loud sound and winced a little, making his way to the door. Another sound and he was out on the street, looking around until he saw a bunch of workers breaking down some walls of an abandoned shop in the next street.

He was never one to be too curious, but he hadn’t heard about anyone buying that lot, so he walked over to where the workers were, just to ask them what they would be doing and for how long the noise would continue, since those types of constructions usually bothered his clients.

But Virgil immediately regretted coming closer when he saw Remus in the middle of the construction workers, guiding them around with an engineer next to him.

“Remus, please, that wall has one of the foundations of the structure, we can’t just take it down, it may bring the whole construction to the ground...”

“I don’t care, get it done, I hate that wall and I want more space for the bar” Remus said, his voice always making Virgil’s head pound. God he hated him so much. Then he turned around, to go talk to someone else, when he saw Virgil standing there. Oh no. “EMO!”

“No” Virgil said, turning around and walking away, but of course Remus wouldn’t let that be over. So he ran to Virgil, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making Virgil push it away and hiss. “Don’t touch me!”

“Oh come on Virge, if you keep talking like that people will think I’m assaulting you... and you know I would never do that in broad day light” Remus said, smirking widely, and Virgil had a sudden urge to grab a piece of metal and stick it in his chest and watch him die slowly. “Did you come to check how my tattoo shop is coming along?”

“No, I would never, and I fucking hate it, get away from me” Virgil said, rushing off, but Remus held his wrist and turned him around.

“Calm down purple Flash, I’m not here to destroy the world” Remus said, sounding serious for once, rolling his eyes and letting go when Virgil pulled his arm away. “Can’t we have a civilized conversation like two old friends that haven’t seen each other in almost twenty years?”

“We are not friends, and there is a very good reason as to why we haven’t talked for almost twenty years. Now get away from me” he growled, turning around and walking away, but of course Remus just wouldn’t leave him alone. So he followed Virgil all the way to the flower shop, ignoring how he just shut the door on his face, and getting inside with a hum.

“So this is your source of income... a flower shop. Adorable” Remus said, checking the flowers, only to get a spray of water on the face. “What the fuck?”

“Don’t touch them. You’re not welcome here. Get out” Virgil said, truly pissed, but Remus raised his eyebrow and moved closer.

“You can’t make me get out, I’m a client like any other, and if you don’t let me stay in, I can call the cops so you can have a very annoying day ahead of you” Remus said, tilting his head, but Virgil furrowed his eyebrows and sprayed him again.

“Get. Out.”

“You’re really testing my patience” Remus said, angrily, grabbing the spray bottle and throwing it away. Virgil’s eyes widened but immediately narrowed again, standing his ground besides being way smaller than Remus.

“And you are testing mine. I’m not that stupid boy you played with anymore, Remus. Get the fuck out of my store, and if your little construction goes one minute after six, I will call the cops and make sure you have a shitty ass night. Get out.”

Remus let out a huff through his nose, but soon smirked, and nodded.

“Alright, alright, I do think I overcame my welcome... but know this. You aren’t getting rid of me so easily” Remus said, grabbing a red rose Virgil had on display and squeezing it on his hand, destroying it petal by petal. “Oops... put that on my tab, sir” he added, making his way out as Virgil felt like he was fuming out of his ears.

Remus was the fucking worst.

\--------------------------------

By the time Patton visited Virgil, everything seemed fine, and the younger man didn’t even mention the fight he had had with Remus earlier in the day. After that, Patton went to Roman’s class, talking to him for half an hour as the kids had a break, and listening to his worries about the fight he had with Logan. He didn’t say why they had fought, which made everything a bit harder for Patton, but he assured that knowing Logan, an honest apology would be the best response to the problem. After that, Patton went home, smiling when he opened the door and found Thomas and Joan playing video games together in the living room.

“Dad! Finally!” Thomas said, pausing the game and rushing for a hug. Patton hugged him back, and wiggled his eyebrows to Joan, who gave him a smile and rushed to be hugged too.

“Hi mister Sanders!” Joan said, and Patton laughed softly.

“Patton, or dad, for you kiddo” he teased, rubbing their head and then kissing Thomas’. “Go back to play, I’m going to shower and make dinner. Joan, how long can you stay?”

“I told my mom I would be back after dinner, around eight” they said, grabbing game control, and Patton nodded.

“Perfect. I will be doing some delicious omelets, be right back kids!”

Patton went upstairs, getting himself a well deserved shower, and changed into comfy clothes, before going back down to start dinner. He made both Joan’s and Thomas’ favorites, and poured them all some drinks, before calling the kids to the table and smiling when they rushed to their seats.

“So, how was school?” Patton asked, smiling, and Thomas gasped.

“Oh yeah! It was great! Dad, did you know we have a new history teacher?! He’s so cool, his name is Janus!”

“Like the roman god” Joan whispered, excited, and Patton couldn’t help but smile, knowing very well they were very enthusiastic about their gods and mythologies.

“Yeah! And he has such a good way of explaining everything! I understood like, 90% of what he said, and I suck at history” Thomas giggled, eating some omelet, and Patton smiled at him.

“Really? I’m glad. I’m glad you’re understanding history and that you have such a cool new teacher!”

“Yeah! The only thing I found odd was that Logan seemed very... um, how can I put it... unlike himself. He was very stressed, like he was angry at something, but his class was great as always” Thomas said, and Patton frowned lightly.

“Well then maybe I should give him a call after dinner” he said, and Joan nodded.

“You probably should, mister... I mean, Patton. Thomas’ dad. I don’t know anyway you should because he was really acting strange today.”

“You can call me whatever you like Joan” Patton said, smiling at the kid. They were so cute, and such a good friend of Thomas. “And I will, don’t worry. The good thing about having a dad that is best friends with your teacher is that you can always know what is going on.”

“It would be even better if he gave us the answers to the tests.”

“Joan!”

“It’s the truth Thomas and you know it!”

“But that would be unfair!”

“You’re too good for your own good Sanders.”

Patton smiled as the two started to argue about if Logan should give them the answers or not, and he couldn’t help but sigh happily.

Although, he had a vague idea why Logan would be so grumpy.

He just hoped he was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhhhh comments


	10. Teachers Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentions of disfiguration (Janus); mentions of homophobia; mentions of bullying  
> There is some exposition in this chapter.   
> Also I love Thomas and Joan.

Never in a million years Janus would have thought that out of the two of them, Logan would be the one with problems related to his return. He was not kidding when he said that if Janus wanted him to be his guide, he would have to run after him. But he wasn't one to give up either. Both of them knew the only not stubborn one in their group was Patton, and even Patton could be difficult sometimes.

So you could imagine them both.

First day was hard, having to rely on every teacher besides Logan to make sure he was in class on time, and to know where he could eat, or just to talk about nothing while the students were on their break. Honestly, he thought he did a great job in his classes, but it wasn't until the last one when he had a good surprise waiting for him.

"Theodora Thompson?" he asked, liking to say the student's full names and make sure he was pronouncing them right in the first day of school. When she lifted her hand, he nodded and wrote down her presence. "Thomas Sanders?"

Thomas Sanders...

"Here!" he heard the boyish voice from the middle of the classroom and looked up, seeing the kid that was rising his hand. And oh, if he had any doubts before, now everything fell into place.

If he wore glasses, he would be Patton's perfect copy.

"Hello Thomas, nice to meet you" he greeted, like he had been doing for the more excitable students. Thomas wasn't one of those, but he wouldn't pass the opportunity to give the boy a little nudge.

He continued with the list and then worked on the class, and once the bell rang, he turned around and told the class their assignments for next class, that was on Thursday. He turned back around to wipe the board clean, but soon he felt like someone was looking at him and turned around, finding Thomas and his friend Joan standing next to his desk.

"Hello sir, we just wanted to tell you something" Thomas said, and Janus turned completely to them, to show he was paying attention.

"I'm non binary so... could you refer to me as they?" Joan said, next to Thomas, clearly using him as their shield, but Janus gave them a smile and nodded.

"Of course. I'm guessing I'm the last teacher you had to tell that to... very brave" he said, smiling at the kids. "I will write it down so I don't forget."

"Also... is your name based on the roman god Janus? God of beginnings and endings and open doors and stuff?" Joan asked, their eyes glistening with curiosity, and Janus chuckled.

"Yes. Yes it is. I see you know your roman gods."

"I do. I'm fascinated by them" they said, and Thomas chuckled.

"Come on Joan we don't want to bother our teacher too much" he said, pushing his friend off. "Bye!"

"Bye Janus!" Joan squealed, and Janus couldn't help but chuckle and wave at the kids, watching them rush out of the classroom probably to go home.

Once he cleaned the board, he gathered his stuff and walked to the teacher's lounge area, where Logan was talking to the math teacher, complaining about something Janus couldn't fully understand. He approached him nevertheless, their talk being broken by Janus cleaning his throat.

"Excuse me miss Tinsdale, I need to talk to Logan, it's very urgent" Janus said, smiling at her, and she nodded and walked to grab her stuff, seeming glad to be taken out of the conversation. Janus turned to Logan, who was looking at him with the most annoyed face ever. "Oh come on, are you going to avoid me forever?"

"If that was an alternative to my problem, yes, I would. Considering that it isn't, I will do the next thing, which is to stay as far away from you for as long as possible" he said, turning around, but Janus sighed and held his arm.

"Logan, come on... please. What do I have to do so you will stop hating me?" he asked, a little too emotional for his liking. He liked to always have the upper hand, but sometimes you just didn't get your way by being cold and sarcastic. It usually worked for him, but when it didn't (and he knew that for Logan it would never work), he used his more... sentimental side.

Of course, that didn't work with Logan either.

"You can turn back in time and change the past. Oh wait, you can't do that. There's nothing I can do for you" Logan said, dryly, looking at Janus and pulling his arm away from his hold. "Now leave me alone."

Janus felt his blood boiling and he was glad there was no one else in the room or else he would have regretted his move until the end of his days.

"He doesn't care that I'm here! Why do you have to be the sulky one?!" he asked, angrily, before he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You make it look like you were the one I fucked up with. Patton doesn't give a shit I'm back, and here you are, acting like a five-year-old because of something that happened more than fifteen years ago. Who is the immature one now, Logan?!"

Logan stopped in the middle of the room, his back tense, and slowly turned around, his eyes cold and sending daggers into Janus'.

"You have no idea what you did to my life. You have no idea what you did to his life. You have no idea the second handed consequences you caused, because of your problems, because of your fears, because of what you made him go through. I would very much prefer if you were still locked up in your living hell of a life rather than here, pretending to be the wife of a married rich asshole that is so bored by not doing anything that she decides to do volunteer work at a nearby school. You know what you are, Janus? You are everything your parents ever wished you would be. It's not because you're married with a freak of a man that it makes you any less controlled. So find someone who wants to be your friend. You lost me a long time ago."

With that, Logan turned around, grabbed his stuff and left, and Janus stood there frozen, alone, looking at the wall and breathing hard.

It had been a long, long time since he had last felt so much shame, guilt and regret at the same time.

And his childish, insecure, vulnerable side wanted to run to Logan and scream about everything he went through after they stopped being friends, after he and Patton abandoned him to the wolves.

But he knew... it would result in nothing.

It still hurt though.

\-------------------------

"Hey, Lo!"

Logan looked up from his phone to see the big car in front of him, where the bus should be, and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"Not in the mood Roman."

"Oh come on Logan... please? I want to apologize" Roman said from inside the car, unlocking it and pushing himself over the seat to open the door. "Come on, I can see something happened... what about some nice Panda express and then home and we can play with Data and talk? Please?"

"... can I have the extras?" Logan asked, looking up at the man, who grinned and nodded.

"Yes of course you can, come on."

Logan hesitantly made his way inside the car, sighing as he sat at the comfortable leather seat, and they didn't talk much on the way to the food place. They went inside, chose what they wanted, and went back to the car to drive to Logan's house and eat inside. Once they got in, Data started to meow from deep within the apartment and showed up a second later, purring and rubbing all over their legs.

Logan started to put the table while Roman guided the cat to his bowl and gave him some well deserved food, petting his little head and chin before coming back and grabbing his plate. After a wiggle of eyebrows, Logan was convinced and they sat down on the couch, turning on one of their favorite shows, one of those detective shows that they had watched several times before, and began eating the food mostly in silence, for a while.

Roman was never good on keeping his mouth shut.

"Okay I really want to apologize for what I did Saturday but... you're very grumpy so I'm going to repeat what I did on Saturday and then I'm going to apologize for everything, so I don't have to say 'sorry' too many times" Roman said, grinning, and Logan couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"You're... the worst" he said, and then sighed, eating a piece of chicken and humming to himself. "Today was Janus' first day, and he requested me as his guide for the first weeks."

"And..?"

"And I can't stand him, so I didn't guide him, I was rude to him, I was in a bad mood during classes, and my day was horrible just because he decided to teach at the same school I do" Logan said, frustrated, and sighed loudly, putting his plate down. "I know I should be happy about having new teachers and getting to work on new projects but... Janus... I don't like being around him."

"Well... I wish I could help but I can't since I have no idea what Janus means to you" Roman said, looking at him, and Logan furrowed his eyebrows.

"You are insufferable."

"I know Logan but come on! This story is juicy and you're clearly not happy with what is going on!"

"Roman, it's not my story to tell" Logan said, looking at him with a serious expression. "It would be the same thing as asking Virgil why you and your brother hate each other so much. It wouldn't be his place to tell."

"Yes, that makes sense, but he could tell how my brother made him feel without getting into details... come on Logan" he sighed, holding the teacher's hand gently. "I know you think you can only count on Patton to talk about your feelings but... we have been friends for almost ten years now... I think we have some baggage."

Logan couldn't help but blush when Roman took his hand, and looked away as to not let that be seen, before he sighed and nodded in defeat.

"Fine. I will tell you... how it affected me. It will be confused and it will feel incomplete but that's the only part of the story I can morally tell you."

"Alright. Then tell me what you can."

"Janus and I... well... we were best friends, once..."

_We met in high school, through a common friend of ours. He was shy, quiet, and he didn't trust anyone, especially because everyone at school made fun of him. Now, I believe he wears make up to cover it up, since I can't seem to notice it anymore, but at the time, he had this mark that covered his entire face, on the left side._

**_Like Phantom of the Opera?!_ **

_Yes, you could say so. Actually... yes, it was._

_Anyway, we became close friends as time went on. People made fun of us, but together we were stronger, and soon the jokes stopped being so funny, and the responses stopped being entertaining, and we stopped being treated badly, him because of his looks, and I because of my nerdy, logical way of being._

_High school continued, things happened, we grew up and began to understand ourselves better. But that didn’t mean others understood us better, so Janus and his parents began fighting more and more than they had ever done. His parents were one of those rich aristocrats that see everything through a status glass, and when Janus said he was gay, and he loved a boy, well, they went completely insane. They locked him in the house, made everything possible to take that away from him._

_When he came back, he was different._

_Not only he gave up on his relationship with the boy he loved, he also abandoned our group of friends. He started to be mean to me, because that gave him status, that gave him power at school, and even with his disfigured face, he became popular, and pushed me and our friends down so hard that... last year of high school was definitive hell._

"So when it ended, and I moved on, I promised myself that I would never let him make a fool out of me again. He treated me like garbage, and made his boyfriend suffer for so long that you wouldn't imagine what happened to him later. And now... he is back. And I know it is strange to hold the grudge against someone for... almost twenty years but I cannot help it" Logan sighed, rubbing his temples. "It is childish and immature but every time I look at him I just remember what he made me go through and I can't... help myself."

"Lo... that's fine" Roman said, holding his shoulder and looking into his eyes when he opened them again. "It is fine to be childish sometimes... it's fine not to like someone that hurt you... the only thing that isn't fine is to let this affect you to the point where everything you do is being prejudicated by it. No matter how much Janus hurt you, you can't let him make you lose focus on what you want, what you love. So what if he is teaching with you? Tell him where his classroom is and move along. You can't let him control you again."

Logan looked at Roman, and he swore that for a split second, he felt like leaning in and just... kissing him. But the thought left fast and Logan blushed because that had been a little too much for his brain thank you.

"Thank you Roman" he said, looking away again and sighing. "I will get over it. I just need some time."

"And you can always count on me for that" Roman said, grinning widely just as Logan's phone started ringing.

"Oh it's Patton. Let me see what he wants... hello?"

It felt good, to tell something to someone at least.

Even if it wasn't the whole truth.


	11. Little Talks

A whole other week passed without much of anything happening. Remus began avoiding Virgil instead of trying to constantly annoy him, and Logan made the bare minimum effort to talk to Janus, in a way that wouldn't hinder his professional life, but also with subtle hints that no, he didn't want Janus around him anymore, and he wouldn’t change the way he acted.

So being the smart guy Janus was, he quickly caught on to the fact that no, being nicer or ruder to Logan wouldn't change anything. That Logan wouldn’t treat him any better because they were colleagues, and most importantly, he couldn't win Logan praises like he could before.

Janus needed a new plan, and there was only one person that could help him with it.

Saturday came around and Janus had to convince himself over and over again to do this as he walked out of his car. Truth was, even if he could be very blunt and slightly inconvenient, he wasn't one to just show up and start talking about difficult subjects out of nowhere. But Logan was giving him no choice, and he wanted to at least be civil with his coworker.

So there he went... face the problem straight on.

Patton was working on a few toys in the front when Janus arrived at the store. Hearing someone's steps coming closer, he turned around with the happiest and sweetest smile he had, that almost immediately faltered when he saw Janus.

"Janus?" he asked, confused, and then shook his head. "Um sorry, hello! Do you want to buy anything?"

"No... Patton, can we talk?" Janus asked, quite awkwardly, because now that they were face to face alone, he felt like there was a tension between them that anyone could see if they looked hard enough. Patton seemed surprised, but quickly turned around and waved at his coworker.

"Hey Clare! Can I leave for thirty minutes? I have to go talk to my friend" he said, the word 'friend' coming so easily out of his mouth that Janus felt his heart warming up a bit. Fuck, Patton was very much still Patton.

"Sure Pat! You always got my back so I got yours!" the girl responded, she was at least ten years younger than Patton, but she seemed to like him a lot. Patton gave her the thumbs up and then returned to Janus, smiling at him.

"Can we talk over some coffee?" he offered, and Janus nodded, letting Patton guide him out of the store and towards the food court in the mall.

It almost didn't feel extremely awkward.

After they reached the nearest Starbucks, they sat down and ordered their drinks and some food. Patton asked for his usual strawberry Frappuccino with extra whipped cream and some delicious rainbow cake, while Janus asked for an expresso and a banana muffin. They were silent for a moment, with Patton looking at him, waiting, but Janus suddenly felt speechless.

Part of him simply couldn't believe he was... sitting with Patton... drinking a coffee with him... like old friends would do.

They weren't friends.

They fell apart long time ago.

"Janus? What did you want to talk about?" Patton asked, tilting his head, and Janus shook his head, sighing to himself and crossing his legs.

"Yes, of course. I came here because of a simple common issue. Logan" he said, and Patton pressed his lips together, nodding slowly. "He is... impossible to deal with."

"Yeah, when I saw you at the store I was pretty sure that would be the subject of the conversation" Patton said, tilting his head. "He hasn't been himself, has he?"

"How do you know?" Janus asked, surprised. Patton was never one to notice details. But he just laughed and smiled at the teacher.

"Oh Jan... do you still go by the nickname?"

"Actually, I don't."

"Sorry, oh Janus... my son is Logan's student. And he has known Logan all is life. He knows when Logan isn't being himself, and more importantly, he tells me all about it" Patton said, grinning as the girl came to give them their drinks and food. "Thank you! Anyway, I know Logan has been irritable and tired this last week. And since you were literally the only thing that changed, I put two and two together."

"Yes, and you and I both know that they way he is treating me is unfair!" Janus said, putting a little too much emotion on it and then sighing deeply. "I mean, he keeps ignoring me, being cold and sarcastic, he doesn't help me understand how the students work and how they prefer their classes, and he even refuses to eat lunch around me. I'm fine with him not wanting to befriend me, that's understandable, but he isn’t even treating me with respect! And that's not... Logan!"

"And what is Logan then?" Patton asked, sipping on his drink, and Janus let out a frustrated sigh.

"Logan is... logic. Logan is being serious even when the situation is funny. Is being fair even when the odds are against you, is being intelligent when everyone around is being stupid and it is being professional even when someone hurt you" he said, and when he looked at Patton, he had a soft smile on his face. "What?"

"I'm sorry Janus, but Logan is none of that."

"What? Yes he is! He was like that during high school!" Janus said, not understand the issue, and Patton tilted his head.

"Yes, he was like that in high school. Logical, predictable and extremely unaware of his own feelings. Just like I was irresponsible and wasn't a dad. Just like you were shy and didn't hide the mark on your face. People change."

"... you didn't have to go so low" Janus said, sliding his fingers over the left side of his face, like it was a distant memory of something he hasn't thought about in a long time.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm. I've just been worried since... well, during high school you weren't ashamed of showing it" Patton said, and Janus sent him a cold glance.

"People change" he repeated, and Patton gave him a smile, nodding slowly.

"Yes they do. So you can't blame Logan for changing. For not wanting you around."

"No, I know I can't, but it still doesn't make any sense. Patton, let's be clear here. I hurt you, not him!" Janus said, going back to his outraged tone. "Back then, when we were young and stupid, you were the one I hurt. You were the one I mistreated. Why is he acting like this, when you are acting like... we are old friends? Why aren't you the one mad, and him the one trying to make amends?"

"I think... it's because of our personality Janus. I don't want to reminisce of the past, it happened and it has been so long too. I like to focus on the good things that happened, in the good memories I have. But he... he feels personally attacked. He isn't ready to have a normal relationship with you" he shrugged. "You should give him time. Or talk to him, maybe."

"Give him time? Talk to him? Come on, he is being stubborn and nothing I say will help. I need you to talk to him" Janus said, exasperated, but Patton gave him a soft chuckle.

"Sorry buddy, I talked to him on Monday and it apparently helped nothing" he said, and Janus' mouth opened in surprise. "Yeah. I told him everything you probably thought I would. I told him to be nicer, to remember the good times, to ignore the problems, to work through his issues... and nothing worked. He is still holding a grudge. There's nothing I can do."

"I... ugh" Janus groaned and rubbed his eyes. "So that's it. This school year... it's going to be hell."

"Very likely to be, yes."

"Wonderful" Janus whispered, drinking his coffee and biting into his muffin.

He would have to give Logan time.

Time, and a talk.

\----------------------------------------

"Virgilllllllllll!"

Virgil lifted his eyes up from where he was finishing counting his earnings of the day, knowing very well who would be showing up at that time in his store with that singing voice. He finished counting the bills and closed the register, opening the door to the store and sighing when he saw Roman knocking on the glass door.

"In a minute!" he called out, locking everything up and grabbing his purse before walking to the door. He unlocked it, walked out and locked it again, looking at Roman as he did. "You know your brother's tattoo store is literally like a few meters away right?"

"So what? I'm here to talk to you, I don't care about him. Come on, we are going to my flat!" he said happily, pulling Virgil to his car, and driving off once they were settled inside.

Roman was too excited... something was up.

"So what's the surprise pretty boy?" Virgil asked, crossing his legs, raising his eyebrow as Roman grinned widely at him.

"Well... I talked to Logan on Monday and after a full week of stalking, researching and investigating, I think I finally found out what's the deal between him and Janus" he said, looking at Virgil with a glint of happiness in his eyes. "And I want to tell you before we interview our next suspect."

"You... do know this is not a crime investigation right?"

"Shut up Watson! Let Sherlock here find the culprit!" Roman squealed, and Virgil shook his head with a fond smile. He couldn't get enough of Roman's crazy shenanigans. He was just too cute when he was, well, insanely excited.

Upon arriving at his building, they when up to his flat, and Virgil stopped to say hello to the birds on the kitchen. Roman was completely against having birds in cages, but he was a foster parent for hurt and special birds while they couldn't fly off. And of course, Pip, who was a wingless birdie that Roman took care of that would never, sadly, be able to live outside.

But Roman gave him everything he could, and more.

"Hello Pip. Hello boys and girls" Virgil said at the huge ass cage Roman had installed at his laundry area, where they could get plenty of sun and wind. The birds started peeping happily, and Pip jumped around to greet Virgil. "I love you too Pip."

"Virgil, the birds can wait, I have a case to present!" Roman sang from the living room, and Virgil rolled his eyes, petting some of their heads and then following his friend towards the other room. He sat on the comfy couch, hugging his favorite pillow and throwing his boots away, while Roman served them some wine and sat down next to Virgil, but leaving plenty of space for him to stretch his legs.

"So, what's the case Holmes?" Virgil asked, entering in the fun and drinking the wine while Roman cleaned his throat.

"Remember when we said that probably Logan was directly involved? Well, turns out we were absolutely wrong. Not only Logan is not the main victim in our case, but also he didn't learn he was a victim at all until a few years ago. Why? Because we all know how Logan was back when Thomas was younger. He was cold and decisive, and told us multiple times that he never suffered any type of bullying during high school or college. But Monday he told me he suffered plenty of bullying, which means that because of our friendship, he realized that he too had suffered. But that's not the point, the point is that he isn't the main victim, and here is why: while he talked about Janus, he seemed to assure me that they weren’t that close. And he also talked about a friend they had in common. However, we do know that the only close friend Logan had during high school was Patton, because all the pictures he has of that time in his house are always depicting him and Patton. However, I found something very interesting. Going back to his high school's old portfolios of celebratory years, I found out that the pictures Logan has in his house are only from first and last year of high school. Why?" Roman took out his phone, and showed Virgil the pictures he had found in the site. "Because during second and third year, the pictures portraited three people. Logan, Patton, and-"

"Janus" Virgil whispered. He hadn't been following half of the train of thought Roman had just spilled out to him, but when he saw the picture, there was no way to deny it. He picked up the phone and frowned. "So Janus, Patton and Logan were best friends during high school?"

"Sophomore and junior year only" Roman clarified. "During freshman and senior years, it seems as if Janus didn't exist. Which leads me to believe that whatever happened between them started in the end of their first year, and ended in the beginning of the forth."

"But... that's only two years of friendship" Virgil said, confused, looking back at Roman. "Why would Logan hold so much grudge against someone he only knew for two years?"

"That is precisely the question I wanted you to ask" Roman said, grinning. "All the evidence leads me to believe that they... were not just friends. Not even just best friends. And knowing how Logan is with relationships, I don't think he and Janus were the ones dating either."

"But... that only leaves..." Virgil's eyes widened and he looked at Roman. "Wait, you think Janus and Patton dated during high school?"

"Not only dated. But they also had a very bad fight at the end of their relationship" Roman said, raising his eyebrow. "Tell me, what makes Logan angrier? Someone calling him a bad name, or someone calling us a bad name?"

"You are saying that Logan only hates Janus because he hurt Patton?" Virgil asked, and the other nodded. "Well it does make sense... he doesn't like when people are rude to us... but what could happen that left him so angry and Patton so... indifferent? Patton doesn't seem to care about Janus being around."

"That is our next question, and that is why we need to interview our next victim" Roman smirked, and the florist's eyes widened.

"You want to ask Patton directly?"

"Yes, my dear gothic Watson" he said, and his smirk seemed to grow bigger. "And we will, tomorrow."

Virgil swallowed thickly, but didn't back off. He wasn't like Roman when it came to gossip, but when it included his friends... he couldn't help but feel curious.

So yeah. They were going to ask a few questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys chapter 12 is being really mean to me ugh  
> Edit: i think i can finish up to chapter 14 today and i'm seriously considering posting all chapters today because FUCK IM VERY EXCITED FOR THE INFO DUMP  
> tell me in the comments what I should do


	12. Story Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for bullying, mentions of blood and bruises, desfiguration and typical angsty high school stuff.

In the next morning, everything was perfectly planned. Roman left his work earlier so he could get Virgil at the animal shelter a little earlier, and they could go home and wash and get ready for that fancy talk they were about to have with Patton.

They went to the mall at the time Patton would be leaving, arriving at the toy store precisely as Patton closed off the store and turned around, squealing at the two of them and then sighing loudly.

"Oh my god guys" he said, covering his chest with his hand. "Do you want to scare me to death? Geez."

"Sorry Patton... we didn't mean to scare you" Virgil said, but Roman stepped forward with his usual happy grin and grabbed Patton's head.

"We are going to dine together at your favorite place!" he said, smiling widely, and Patton's eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't his birthday or anything, why did they want to talk to him in such a nice location.

"Did you two do something wrong?" Patton asked, narrowing his eyes, but Roman chuckled and rubbed his back as he pulled him away from the store.

"Come on Pat, do we ever? No no we just wanna talk" he said, and grabbed Virgil too since it seemed like the florist wasn't going to move. "You're always so good to us, always gives your time for us, we wanted to do something special randomly."

"Now I am one hundred percent something is wrong and maybe you should have let Virgil do the talking" Patton said, raising an eyebrow, making Roman's smile turn into a frown and Virgil's worried glance turn into a chuckle.

"Yeah, watch it princey" Virgil nudged him away and took Patton's arm, linking them together and taking the dad towards the parking lot. "You really don't have to worry though, we didn't do anything. We just want to talk."

"Coming from you two, Virgil, I'm always a little worried" Patton chuckled but went to his car anyway, while Roman went to his own. To make sure he would come with them, Virgil took Patton's side and they followed Roman after a long discussion about Patton not needing to shower or change for the dinner that night.

It was just a casual thing between friends, nothing else.

Once they got there, all of them walked out and headed inside Applebee's (yes, that was Patton's favorite restaurant), getting themselves a nice and comfy table at a quieter spot in the restaurant. Patton ordered some sweet syrup lemonade, Roman asked for some green tea and Virgil asked for a margarita since he wasn't going to drive later.

"So boys, tell me why exactly you wanted to see me here" Patton said, smiling and tilting his head, knowing those two too well to believe in whatever lie they were about to make up. After a short glance towards each other, Virgil nodded to Roman, who turned to Patton and took a deep breath.

"Well, I talked to Logan about why he got so upset when we talked about Janus and... long story short I have some conclusions of my own to share with you. And I also wanted to... hear what you have to say. Your side of the story" Roman said, smiling nervously. "So... that's what we wanna know. How... you and Logan know Janus and what happened between you three."

Patton blinked slowly and then giggled to himself, smiling at his two friends with fondness in his face.

"Is that it? All this show and mystery for that? You guys could have asked me any time" he said, happily, and thanked the waiter when they brought their drinks. "Oh boys... it's not even that much big of a deal..."

"Okay Pat, that's impossible. Logan is way too invested for it to be not a big deal" Virgil said, and Patton's smile faltered for a second before he sighed and nodded.

"Alright alright, maybe it isn't, but it isn't a whole dramatic story either... I just don't want to let you two disappointed, it is very basic high school drama."

"Oh Patton darling nothing that came from you would ever leave us disappointed" Roman said, excited, his smile almost bigger than his face. "Tell us? Pretty please?"

"I will..." Patton chuckled and looked down at his drink. "But I don't know how many chapters that will have."

"You mean hours?" Virgil asked, and Patton smiled.

"No no, chapters. We are in a fanfic."

"We... what?"

"Anyway, let's start from the beginning and you will understand... everything."

\-----------------------------------

Patton could be anything but a shy kid. Ever since he was little, he was quite loud and open, for other kids, for adults, for his parents, he just loved people. He really did. He loved talking, playing, listening, every activity someone could do with two or more people were Patton's favorite activities. He was a people person, ever since he was a little baby, and it didn't change much as he grew up.

He was five when he met Logan, and they became best friends right away. Luckily their parents also had a good relationship, so they didn't mind the boys becoming even dependent on each other. Patton's parents were happy because he had a friend that could always be by his side, and Logan's parents were thrilled because unlike Patton, Logan had a hard time opening up to and befriending other people, so him having a best friend was all his parents could wish for.

And truly that friendship never faltered. Their parents made sure to always keep them in the same schools, they always talked in case they felt like moving due to money or other issues, and they always reached a compromise that kept their children happy and close together, like they wished to be.

But being a baby and a young child was easy. The problem came when they began to grow up. Being as close as they were in decades where being close to someone wasn't very usual, Logan and Patton found themselves in the middle of rumors and mean comments almost all the time. They were bad mouthed, called nerds, fags, girls, pussies, and all those mean things that children liked to call each other to make them feel better. It started when they were eleven, and it continued up until they were about to enter high school, when their parents decided it was enough.

They moved both boys to a different school, glad that both of them had grades good enough to get them scholarships, because this time they were up to a private school. And both of them couldn't be more excited.

Patton had this dream where people from private schools would be nicer, sweeter, would invite him over for British tea and talk about their fancy homes while not caring that Patton was a poor student that got in by his merit. In fact, he thought they would all think he was amazing for it, and he would befriend the entire school!

Logan was excited for completely different reasons. He always had a dream of doing some amazing college and changing the world, and in a better school, with better teachers, better equipment and different clubs, he felt like he would have the ability to get where he wanted faster and with even more chances of being someone important in life.

So both were extremely excited to get into this... new life that was ahead of them.

In the first day, they dressed up as nicely as they could with the new uniforms, and went to school with their parents to check it out. It was beautiful, like a Harry Potter castle, with tall buildings and wide open areas with trees and small cottages so they could rest, it was truly something out of their dreams.

After the first day, they went to school alone, and began their classes with everyone else. Sadly, they were in very different classes, since Logan was mostly on advanced lessons while Patton was a little bit... less smart, but they didn't care. They met up for breaks and lunch every day, and they spent the day at each other's houses after school.

And for the first few weeks, it did look like a dream come true.

But of course, unlike Patton dreamt of, teenagers were teenagers, no matter where they went or what school they attended. So after everyone at school found out about the new students, that not only were attached to the hip, but also poor (to their standards), the bullying started to gain power again.

Unlike their past school, where it was blatant and loud, this new school had a quieter, more discreet way of showing how they weren't welcomed there. The jokes were made in a way that hurt, but wasn't obvious, so Patton thought he was over reacting and laughed it off with the people he thought were his new friends. The tests to the clubs were overwhelmingly difficult, and yet Logan watched as students with way worst grades than him getting them right. Slowly, but surely, Logan and Patton were segregated to the 'weirdos' corner, without them even realizing, and the disappointments and quiet suffering were so much that in the end of their first year, they barely talked to anyone but each other.

It was like they were alone again, only having one another to lean on.

But they wouldn't give up. Second year started and they came back from their vacations with their spirits lifted. They wouldn't let those little things bother them anymore. Logan studied his hardest to get into any of the clubs he was interested in, and Patton made sure to build up a wall and stop the painful jokes to hurt him at all. Of course, those barriers couldn't last long, but they were hoping a miracle would happen in the middle of that year, to assure them that this was in fact their right place.

And their prayers were answered.

In the second month of their second year, Logan and Patton were already beginning to get tired of their façade. Logan hadn't been able to get into any clubs, the jokes were starting to hurt Patton again, and they felt exhausted every day after school. But they didn't want to give up, not yet.

So, Patton agreed on staying late at school to help Logan study for another club test in the library, so they met up after their last class and walked over the long and pretty hallways towards the magnificent library the school had. While they walked, they talked about everything but what hurt them, because they didn't want to be reminded of it, but their talk was cut short by a cry coming from the end of another corridor, making them stop.

"Did... you hear that?" Patton asked, eyes wide, and Logan looked over at the hallway in question, tilting his head.

"Yes... but I am sure it's nothing. Probably some of those jerks playing or hurting each other for fun" Logan said, furrowing his eyebrows, but before they could walk away there was another cry, and the sound of something falling down on the floor. Something heavy.

"Logan, I think someone is in trouble" Patton said, and immediately ran towards the sound, with Logan gasping and following him, trying to stop him.

"Patton let's call a guard or something, what do you think you and I can do to stop whatever that is?!" Logan whispered in exasperation, but it was no use. Patton kept running down the hallway until he heard a sob and voices coming from a classroom. He stopped, looking through the little glass on the door, Logan right behind him, looking inside to make sure it was safe to come in.

He couldn't see much, but he did recognize the guys that had their backs to the door. Those five were the jocks from the football team, the ones that did the real bullying. They didn't care about Patton and Logan much, probably because they didn't pose any threat, so luckily neither of them had ever been punched or kicked by any of the jocks of the football team. But damn, if there was someone in the middle of those giants, Patton was scared for them.

"Patton we need to get help" Logan hissed through his teeth, he didn't want to get in trouble with those guys. But Patton was very much aware that if they left, Logan would never let him come back. So he needed a plan and now.

"Logan go get help" Patton said, and when Logan tried to argue, he just pushed him away. "Go!"

Logan groaned softly and ran off, while Patton tried to think about something. He saw one of the jocks moving and heard another cry, and the despair of hearing someone getting hurt took his last brain cells and made him panic.

He stepped away and took a deep breath before closing his eyes.

" _What in the heavens is all this noise that I'm hearing?! I hope it isn't Garfield and his friends getting into trouble again!_ " Patton yelled, trying his best to make the voice of the guard he knew, and then immediately hiding in the next classroom, shaking in fear.

Fuck if they found him, he was a dead man.

After some silence, he heard the next door opening, and as soon as he did, he heard the jocks mumbling to each other something about no one being there. He heard steps, knowing that they had called his bluff, but before any of them could do anything, Patton heard the guard yelling.

"Garfield! What are you doing?!" she yelled, and Patton thanked Logan time and time again in his head for being quick.

The rest was like a blurr where the jocks invented some shit, the guard sent them off, and Patton opened the door to leave the room when the hallway was empty. Logan came running to him, sighing in relief.

"You are insane" he said, and Patton shook his head, rushing to the next classroom.

"She didn't check in here, I think-" he stopped when he opened the door and looked inside. Logan froze too, both of them staring directly at the teen curled up against the wall, the teacher's table turned upside down next to them, the students' desks all torn up.

He had never seen that kid in his life.

"Pat, we should call the nurse-" Logan tried, but the kid snapped their head up, shaking their head desperately.

"N-no please" they whimpered. Patton and Logan couldn't help but step back when they saw their face, bruised and with their lip cut and bleeding, but that wasn't what made them step back. No. The left side of the kid's face was completely disfigured, pink and obviously made of scar tissue, which made the sight even more horrifying. "Please just l-leave me alone..."

Patton and Logan looked at each other for a second, having a silent conversation between themselves, and then nodding in agreement before walking towards the kid. They flinched, curling up further, probably thinking they were going to hurt them.

"Do you want some help?" Patton asked, kneeling down, and Logan did the same, leaving space between them so they wouldn't feel suffocated. They looked at the pair, confused, tears sliding down their face, and after a quiet sob, they cleaned their eyes.

"You... aren't... going to hurt me?"

"Of course not" Logan said, and Patton gave them a smile. "My name is Logan."

"And I'm Patton."

After a moment of silence, the kid seemed to relax just a tiny little bit, and wiping their eyes, they responded.

"I'm... Janus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys i wasn't able to finish chapter 14 yesterday so I thought it would be better to keep the schedule and make sure I have some chapters in case one day I can't write!!!!
> 
> Edit: feeling sad


	13. High school sweethearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for bullying and stuff. I don't think there's anything too heavy in this chapter

Janus was his name.

By the time their conversation began, Logan's studies were completely forgotten by the two of them. Janus was a very shy kid, and obviously, after being beaten up and bullied for god knows how long, he was a bit scared of becoming friends with these two weirdos that had come and saved him, in a way. But that didn't stop Logan and Patton from trying, sitting in front of him and talking until they were told by the night guard that they had to leave.

In that first encounter, they talked about stupid things, to let Janus get comfortable with them, while Logan and Patton helped him clean up the dirt and dried blood off his face. Janus seemed very thankful over it all, but he also didn't say much, clearly not thinking whatever that was was going to last.

But in the next day, Patton walked with Logan towards the secretary, and made up a lie to get Janus' school schedule, so they could meet up with him again. And they did that. Once their morning classes ended and it was lunch time, Logan and Patton rushed to where Janus would be, finding him exiting the classroom with his face down and bag pressed firmly against his back.

"hey Janus!" Patton called in the middle of the crowd, and Janus' eyes snapped wide, looking over and seeing the duo waving at him. After a moment of consideration, Janus walked towards them, hesitantly, and looked at the two friends, confused.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to eat lunch with us?" Logan asked, and Patton squeaked, nodding quickly at him.

"Please please please?"

Janus raised an eyebrow, looked around and then moved closer to them, so he could whisper without anyone listening.

"If you are seen with me, your lives are going to turn into hell. I'm... not very liked in this school...."

"As if we are" Patton chuckled, and Logan shook his head.

"That is irrelevant to us. You are welcome to come and eat lunch or take breaks with us at any time."

Janus probably thought that it was a case of charity, but honestly, Patton and Logan liked him. So he accepted, heading to lunch with them and spending the entire two hours talking to them about their favorite things. The friendship came naturally, like they were meant to meet up, and slowly one lunch turned into two, then three, then ten, and before they noticed, their duo turned into a trio.

And yes, Janus had been right. After they started hanging out together, Patton and Logan were reduced to even lower levels in the school's food chain, but they didn't care. They liked Janus, they wanted to be his friend, and they had each other's backs.

But Janus wasn't like them. He was rich, very rich, and that was one of the reasons he was treated so poorly. He was rich, smart, and quite sarcastic when he wanted to be. He was manipulative and deceitful whenever that benefitted him, and the longer he spent with Patton and Logan, more courage he gathered to fight against his bullies and get the upper hand.

And both Patton and Logan also started to turn smarter when it came to other people. Janus taught them the signs, when someone was being honest or fake, when they were asking a question or hurting you through one, when they were being truthful or when they just wanted to make you feel bad. They spent more and more time together, with Janus coming over to Patton's and Logan's very often, getting along with their families and slowly finding a place where he belonged.

He never invited Logan and Patton to his own house, though, but after a few months of friendship, they found out why.

"My parents are disgustingly vain and aristocrat. They think someone is only worth their time if they have money and possessions. I don't want to take you guys to my house because... well, you won't be treated nicely" Janus said, one night when they were all hanging at Patton's. They were all in their pajamas, ready to sleep, eating cookies and listening to music.

"They won't like us because we are not rich?" Logan asked, and rolled his eyes. "That's in fact very vain."

"And sad. I wish I could meet your parents!" Patton said, pouting, and Janus chuckled softly, but it was cold and dry.

"No you don't. They are... they are awful."

That night, Logan and Patton let that conversation die there, because they weren't that close yet. But slowly, they seemed to gain Janus' trust, and Janus gained theirs. And the warmth of having a new friend like he had always hoped for, slowly started to turn into something else in Patton's heart.

He didn't realize it, it was organic, slow and steady, but by the end of their second year, he knew it. He had a realization. And as he prepared himself for vacation, an empty feeling filled his heart, knowing that Janus would be travelling for the whole period, away from him.

Patton didn't know how else to explain it, how sad and cold he felt, when they met up in the last Friday of the school year and he placed a shy goodbye kiss on Janus' scarred cheek. And like he imagined, he missed him all vacations long, wondering if he would come back different when he returned from wherever he was.

Logan told him he was being dramatic. That of course they would still be friends when he returned. But he didn't know how Patton was feeling, and neither did Patton at the time. It wasn't until the last month before school started again, that Patton looked at Logan while he complained about how down Patton had been throughout their entire vacation time, and his mouth opened without him meaning to.

"I think I'm in love with Janus."

Logan immediately shut up, and Patton blushed from forehead to chest, his heart beating way too fast for his liking. A feeling of dread filled up his stomach, and he realized that he had never told Logan about his feelings towards boys. They talked about it, now and again, about how everyone should be loved and respected, but it was something else entirely, to tell him he too felt like that.

And even worst, confessing about being in love with their new best friend!

"Patton..." Logan said, slow and steady, his voice calm and controlled "since when do you know this?"

"I..." Patton felt his eyes tearing up, out of fear and also frustration, he didn't know why. "Si-since... since the last day of school...?"

"... and you didn't tell me?" Logan asked, with a sigh, before crawling to his best friend and pulling him in for a hug. Logan didn't give free hugs like this often, so Patton immediately wrapped his legs and arms around his best friend and pulled him closer. "Pat..."

"I-I'm sorry I was scared" he whimpered, and pressed his face against Logan's chest, tears filling up his eyes. "I didn't know how you would react and-"

"Patton, I would never react badly over anything. You're my best friend" Logan said, placing a soft kiss on his head. "And I don't know why you are so upset. Janus will be back and everything will be the same. It isn't because he went on a trip that he is going to forget us. Or you."

"But Logan, what if... what if he comes back with a girlfriend or... cool and he doesn’t wanna hang out with us anymore?" Patton whined, looking up, but Logan wiped his tears and shook his head.

"Impossible. He is our friend. And Patton... I think he likes you too."

"Y-you what?" Patton asked, eyes widening, and Logan sighed.

"I'm not good at like, realizing things. You know that. Specially when it comes to feelings. But yes I believe he enjoys your company and I think... he likes you too. As more than a friend."

"But... Lo..." Patton whispered, eyes widening even more, if that was even possible. "I... what if he doesn't? What if I tell him and our friendship scatters? I love him as a friend too!"

"Do you honestly think that Janus out of all the people in this universe will be awkward around you because you said you like him as more than a friend?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrow. "He will, most likely, feel so much praise that his ego will inflate into the stratosphere. That is what's most likely to happen."

"Well, you are right" Patton giggled, and then nuzzled against Logan again, sighing softly. "Thanks for not hating me Lo..."

"I would never" Logan said, firm and serious, rubbing his back. "Now stop being sad. I can't stand it. I like you when you're smiling."

"I like when you're smiling too" he whispered and looked up. "Love you Lo."

"Love you too Pat.

\---------------------------------------

Janus came back, school started again, and everything went back to normal as Logan said it would. Janus treated them like close friends, they hang out together all the time, and every day that passed felt harder and harder on Patton. He wanted to tell, he wanted to confess his love for Janus, but something stopped him every time, and Logan was honestly getting a little fed up with it.

So, the next time Patton invited them for a sleep over, the second week after school started, Logan made up an excuse and didn't go, hoping for heaven's sake that Patton would get some courage and just tell everything to Janus already.

The night was a bit more awkward than usual, with Patton barely responding to any of Janus' jokes just because he was trying not to freak out, and when bed time arrived, Janus sighed loudly by his mattress and looked at Patton with a sad expression.

"Did I do something? Did I hurt you? Why aren't you talking to me like you usually do?" he asked, clearly upset and confused, and Patton felt shy and ashamed and bad all at the same time.

Well, that was it. Now or never.

"I like you" he spilled out, and Janus furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

"I like you too, Pat. What does that have to do with anything?"

"N-no, I..." Patton sighed and looked deep into Janus' eyes, pressing his lips together so they wouldn't tremble. "I like like you."

It took Janus a second. But when he understood what Patton meant, his eyes widened and he sat up in a blink of an eye, mouth opening slightly.

"You... like like me?"

"Yeah" Patton squeaked, nervously, covering his face with his hands as his heart beat so hard he could feel it against his chest. "I'm sorry, I just... needed to tell you..."

The silence didn't last long. Patton felt Janus' hands around his wrists, pulling them away, and he was very close, their eyes locking together. Patton was breathless, Janus was so beautiful this close. He could see the honey color around his brown irises. He could see the small marks on the right side of his face, and every single detail of his scarred side.

Breathtaking.

"Don't... be sorry. Please" Janus whispered, seemingly breathless too, and with a blink of an eye, he leaned in and their lips pressed together.

And oooooooooh man, Patton almost died.

His hands fell to his sides, and his eyes closed in bliss. Janus moved his own hands to Patton's face, holding his cheeks gently, and the kiss didn't get further then a long press of lips, their breaths getting mixed together as they sighed through their noses, bumping on each other.

It felt like freaking heaven.

When they pulled away, Patton's eyes opened immediately, while Janus seemed to linger a little longer on the feeling, eyelids closed as one hand moved to touch his lips. When he opened his eyes again, they were teary, and Patton's surprised expression turned into worry, hand finding Janus' free one to hold.

"Jan?" he whispered, and the boy let out a sob mixed with a chuckle, their eyes meeting again.

"I never thought... someone would... ever kiss me" he whispered, and Patton felt even more love blossoming in his heart, a warmth filling up his whole body, happiness and sadness making their way into his soul.

"I've been dreaming of kissing you since we first met" Patton whispered, raising one hand to cup Janus' scarred cheek, caressing it, smiling when he covered his hand with his own. "I never felt... anything like this. Like I feel when I'm around you."

"Me neither" Janus whispered, wiping his eyes dry and leaning onto Patton's warm touch. "It's like... I never want to stop being next to you."

"Yeah" Patton smiled, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together. "I think it's pretty much like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh


	14. The bitter end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: homophobic language, a lot of bullying, betrayal.

After that, they started dating, for their happiness and Logan's relief, since apparently the two of them were extremely oblivious to each other and he was kinda getting sick of it.

Of course, their relationship had to be maintained a secret, due to the school's homophobic teens, teachers and councils, and specially because Janus' parents could not find out about it, or even suspect it.

Patton had never met Janus' parents in this whole year they had been friends, but considering what Janus said about them, he wouldn't want to know them either. They were old conservative rich white people who thought they could pay for anything and everything. They treated Janus like a nuance, or at least that's what he said they did, and they barely got involved in anything related to him.

They made Janus take a thousand different classes, like archery, piano, horse riding, martial arts, chess, debate clubs, and so on, all things that if he wanted to do would have been amazing, but by being obligatory, Janus hated every single one of those.

The only thing they allowed him to do that he had chosen was be part of the advanced history classes, that were his passion. So yeah, they didn't seem like the nicest of people, and Patton completely understood when Janus said they couldn't tell about their relationship to anyone.

Logan wasn't a big fan of the lie, but since it didn't have anything to do with him, he agreed on it, not wanting to hurt his best friends over some of his own moral grounds.

So, that was where they started their third year of high school: dating. Patton was in cloud nine, he was overly cheery and happy, which did end up attracting some more bullies eventually, but he didn’t care. His grades were great, his scholarship had been renewed, he had the best best friend in the world and he had the cutest boyfriend!

And being with Janus was a blast. As they spent more and more time together (always going to Patton's house to date in secret), Patton began to find out even more things about Janus that he didn't know before. Like how he loved make up and he used to steal some from his mom, and how he liked dressing up and being fancy, how he wanted to pierce his ears to be able to ear earrings and how he wished he could be a history teacher one day, if his parents ever allowed that. He also found out things about his personality that he didn't know, like how romantic he could be, and how he loved being cuddled, how he melted into head scratches and how he could be very manipulative and mean when he wanted to be, but he swore he would never do that to Patton or Logan. And, of course, as their relationship evolved, Patton found out even more things about Janus, like how despite looking so secure outside, he really liked being quiet and vulnerable around him, or how he got really feisty when Patton kissed him a bit harder than normal, and how he turned into putty in his hands when Patton slid his hands under his shirt.

They were teenagers, learning more about themselves and each other, but the trust seemed to be immediate, and as they laid down on Patton's bed during one of their many sleepovers, noses brushing lightly as they just looked into each other's eyes and relaxed into the comfortable silence, Patton was sure that he had found his soulmate.

And gosh, how lucky he was, to have such a perfect one.

"I think sometimes I can hear the wind that blows inside your head when you're not thinking about anything" Janus whispered, in the middle of their silence, and smiled when Patton gasped in a falsely offended way.

"Hey! I'm always thinking about something" he complained, smiling and pushing his boyfriend's chest back, making him chuckle.

"Really? What are you thinking about now?"

"I'm thinking about how lucky I am to have the best boyfriend in the world."

That caught Janus by surprise, his unscarred cheek turning bright pink as he looked down. Patton giggled, leaning in and lifting Janus' head, pressing a soft kiss to his lips that left him even more awkward.

"Pat..." he whined, all shy, moving closer and pressing his face to Patton's neck, curling up against him. "you're an idiot."

"I'm your idiot though" Patton said, smiling and kissing his head as his arms wrapped warmly around Janus. "And you love this idiot."

"... I do" Janus whispered, kissing his neck softly and then sighing as he closed his eyes. "I will never get used to someone... being this lovely towards me."

"Yes you will. And when you do, you and I are going to run away and be happy all by ourselves" Patton whispered, and closed his eyes. "We are going to live in a little cottage in the country side, surrounded by animals and fresh air, and you will be a history teacher while I take care of our house and animals and plants and children and we will be very happy."

"When you say it like that... sounds like a dream" Janus mumbled, barely audible, and looked up at Patton, pressing a kiss to his lips as well. "you're... you're lovely."

"So are you" he whispered back, and they kissed again, holding each other close as they allowed their minds to wonder off.

Eventually, Patton decided that even if he couldn't say anything to his family about being with Janus, he could tell them about his sexual orientation. Since he had never felt anything for anyone before Jan, he thought he might be bisexual, so that was what he said during Christmas break. He opened up to his and Logan's family (because they always spent Christmas together), and they all welcomed him with open arms, no hesitation. He was happy he could be open to them, and Logan seemed proud, gladly handing Patton his rainbow sweater that his mother had knitted herself, in case Patton decided to open up.

Logan knew Patton very well.

After that, Patton began to wish that he could open up and tell his school friends, but Janus was completely against it. They had their first fight, during winter break, where Patton assured no one would assume anything, while Janus was sure they would, and not only that, but the rumors would begin and would reach his family's ears, and he couldn't have that in any way, shape, or form.

Logan also didn't seem to understand Janus' side. It was about Patton's life, Patton's choice, and he should be able to open up about himself to others. But Janus insisted he didn't, and when the fight reached it's peak, he threatened to break up with him and stop being their friend all together if Patton opened his mouth.

That left a bitter taste in Patton's tongue, and despite Logan's reasonings, he agreed on not telling, unable to imagine himself with Janus again. High school was almost over anyway, just another year and a half and they would be able to leave and never go back again, and Janus would be away from his parents.

He just had to hold on a little bit longer.

It was a little harder to remain silent with Logan at his side, because being the logical kid he always was, he didn't understand how Patton opening up about himself could put Janus in a bad spot, but Patton insisted they didn't talk about that anymore. He accepted staying in the closet for the boy he loved, and even if he felt himself getting slightly less happy by the day, he pushed through, lingering on the moments and kisses he shared with Janus as his lifeboat.

But he wasn't the only one drowning in that sea.

Every day that passed, Janus felt worst for doing that to Patton. For forcing him to be someone he wasn't. And at the end of the third year, he had had enough. He could see Patton's light fading off, his happiness seemingly disappearing, and just because of his own fears and selfishness.

So he decided to be selfless, and give his safety away for the boy he loved.

In the last week of school, he told Patton all of that, and told him he had made a decision: he would tell his parents about himself, tell them he was gay, and he was going to make sure that whatever they did wouldn't impact on their relationship. That way, they could be together, and the school wouldn't have who to tell.

Patton was worried, of course, because Janus' parents were awful people, but Janus was smart. If he was sure about this, it was because he had found a way of doing it without hurting himself in the process.

So Patton thanked him, and all his happiness returned. He wouldn't have to wait long, just summer vacations, and then he would be able to be open, and hold Janus' hand at school, and kiss him underneath the big oak tree, and everything seemed to be going just right for him.

He couldn't be happier.

But that happiness didn't last long.

As usual, Janus and his parents went off to a trip for summer vacations. They usually stayed out during the whole time, but that year, they came back early. Patton was happy, thinking that meant more time with Janus, but throughout the months he wasn't able to see him even once. He didn't leave his house, he wasn't seen in the streets, and sometimes Patton wondered if he was even there.

But it didn't matter. School came around and Patton, Patton was sure he would be able to talk to him again, and date him, and kiss him, and hold him, like he had been dreaming of doing during summer vacations.

So first day of school rolled around, and Patton got himself ready to meet Janus. He put his best clothes, fixed his hair, put on his favorite perfume, and met up with Logan so they could go together. Logan chuckled at his happiness, but couldn't help himself from smiling too, because Patton seemed to light up the world.

When they arrived, the first thing they saw was a group talking around the entrance. They knew pretty much everyone from it, the pretty and popular girls, some jocks, some high class rich people that didn't have any other talent other than being rich and annoying, but their eyes focused on the person standing around the middle of the group: Janus.

And he looked... different.

His soft sweaters and jeans were replaced by the school's uniform, like most of the rich students wore. He had a tie, a button up shirt, black pants, the vest with the school symbol, things that their Janus would never wear. His hair was gelled back in a style very alike the other prep boys, and uncovered, which was also strange, since he always wore hats or beanies. But if that was it, they wouldn't have thought much of it. Everyone could change their style during vacations.

No, the weirdest part was that he had an arm around a girl's waist, holding her close to himself, and that placed an unsettling feeling on Patton's tummy.

But regardless, he walked over to the group, with a confused Logan right behind him, and the talk coming from them seemed to turn into silence as they approached, Janus' eyes finally meeting his, something cold and distant coming from them.

"Hey Jan" Patton said, as he stopped in the middle of the circle, Logan right behind him, both not noticing at the time how awkward they looked in the middle of the popular rich kids of school. Janus, however, instead of answering, gave them a disgusted look, and raised an eyebrow, just before the girl next to him leaned closer to his ear.

"These fags think they can talk to us?" she pretended to whisper, but those words were loud and clear, and Janus snorted softly at her question, turning to face her.

"I have no idea babe" he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips and then sighing as he turned back to face the duo. "Could you two... leave? We don't want destitute people like you... around us. Could cause a very bad impression."

"Yeah, can you smell the one dollar perfume they are wearing? God it's like those builders when they come from work on a bus filled with sweaty people" the girl next to him giggled, and the group started to laugh around them. Patton's eyes widened as he stared at Janus, feeling like his heart was being ripped in half, but luckily Logan took the wheels, grabbing Patton's arm and pulling him away from the group.

"Come on Patton" he said, firmly, tugging him away, while the group kept laughing and making jokes at them, and Janus kept his gaze at Patton, smirking as if he was enjoying himself.

He couldn't help the tears that rose in his eyes, nor the sobs he let out when Logan took him to a safe place in the school grounds. Logan held him close, not caring about them missing all their classes that day, taking Patton out for some ice cream after he stopped crying and trying to cheer him up.

Of course Logan was hurt too, but it was different, Patton felt like he was bleeding from within.

And it all didn't stop there.

For the rest of the year, Janus treated them as if they were gum on his shoe. He made friends with all the popular kids, everyone started to love him, praise him, and he sucked it all up with pride, remaining with his new girlfriend for the rest of the year, getting chosen as the school orator for graduation, he ended his course with amazing grades, and he made sure to ignore Patton and Logan no matter how hard they tried to talk to him.

By the end of the year, Logan was focused entirely in his studies, specially after Janus got his way of expelling Logan from all the clubs he had helped him get in, while Patton just felt depressed all over again, being called a nerd, a fag, and even worst during the entire year, and being outed for the whole school by no one other than Janus without his consent, after a stupid valentine's day where he received a bunch of secret notes, only to be taken to the back of the football field, and be received by eggs, glitter, and balls being thrown at him while everyone called him names.

He didn't go to school for a week after that.

When the year ended, Logan and Patton decided to move away, get into a college together and share an apartment. They didn't want anything to do with that town anymore, and after Logan was accepted where he wanted, Patton found a cheaper college to study on that was next to Logan's, so they could be together forever.

Many bad things happened during their last year of school, things either decided to push back and forget. They moved on with their own scars, and decided to never think about Janus again.

They never found out what happened during the summer vacation that changed everything, and while Patton wanted to, Janus never gave them the opportunity to find out.

\------------------------------------

"And that is why, at least from what I know, why Logan hates Janus" Patton said, looking at Roman and Virgil, while they had their eyes wide and their mouth open in surprise.

"Holy fuck" Virgil whispered, and Roman shook his head, trying to get a grip on everything.

"How do you not hate him?!" he asked, surprised, and Patton shrugged.

"I don't know. I just don't" he said, honestly, finishing his third drink after having already eaten all his food. "So that's how Janus, Logan and I met, became best friends, and fell apart, all in three years."

"Gosh darn it" Roman whispered, drinking down his tea and humming. "But... Janus is dating my brother now... did he lie?"

"Of course he lied" Patton chuckled, tilting his head. "Now that I'm an adult I am one hundred percent sure that during those vacations, he told his parents he was gay, and something really bad happened. But I'm glad that he is, you know, happy now."

"You're glad that your childhood sweetheart, love of your life, person you trusted everything, is happy with someone else?" Virgil asked, and Patton nodded.

"Yeah. Life goes on, people change, and I don't know if his parents' died, accepted him, or just disowned him, but now he is happy with a man, and that's all I could ever ask for."

"Patton... sometimes I think you really don't see the line between being good and stupid" Roman said, and Virgil slapped his arm. "hey! I mean-Patton this guy is like, I don't know, your charming prince reborn from the aches of time! You have the chance to go to him and ask everything you ever wanted to know, to show him how much you suffered, to make him fall for you again so you can have your revenge! Or your happiness! And you're just... treating him like an old friend?!"

"Roman, I don't have to do any of that. You know why?" Patton smiled, and reached out, taking Virgil and Roman's hands on his own and squeezing. "Because I found my happiness. My happiness is Thomas, it's Logan, it's you two, and my work, and my house, and everything I have. Of course, seeing him again brings memories I had repressed for years and years but... I have my dream come true. I have my happily ever after. I don't have to go and judge him or make him feel bad for whatever has already happened. It's over. It's done. And we are both happy."

"But are you... actually happy Patton?" Virgil whispered, worry in his voice, and Patton looked at him with fondness.

"Yes, Virge. I am. I am as happy as can be, with my family by my side."

Virgil gave him a shy smile, and Roman sighed loudly, standing up and wrapping Patton in a warm hug that was responded immediately. He loved those two very very much, and Patton wouldn't change his friends and family for nothing. Nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not feeling like writing today so like keeping a few chapters ahead was a great idea hahaha


	15. A new point of view

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Remus and Janus are always fighting lmao

"Sunday! The day of the Lord! The day where we are supposed to stay at home, rest and do nothing while we appreciate the Lord's beautiful creation... are you seriously still fucking writing your next class?"

"What do you want Remus?" Janus asked, annoyed, looking over his paper notes and his computer, writing some new things down, while Remus rolled his eyes dramatically and walked over to his boyfriend, placing his hands on his shoulders.

"Could you please, for the love of god, stop working for five fucking minutes?!" Remus asked, his voice going from sweet to angry, before he turned Janus' chair around and held onto his arms. "It's like we are back in college again! For fucks sake these kids don't need to learn shit!"

"If you miss me, you just have to say so" Janus said, pushing Remus away and turning around again. "Besides, I'm not in the mood of playing house wife anymore. I want to work, I missed it, and just because you are a lazy ass that doesn't do shit, doesn’t mean I'm like that."

"Oh you're truly getting on my nerves Janus" Remus said, with no spark of joy or playfulness in his voice. "I didn't agree to date a full time teacher. I'm not asking for you to give up your work, just giving me ten minutes of attention every day would be fucking enough."

"You're such a needy bitch, Remus" Janus groaned, putting his pencil down. "Why don't you go out and find someone else to fuck? You have money you know? You can buy as many hookers as you please!"

"Are you seriously going there after the show you gave after my party weeks ago?" Remus asked, walking over and pulling his chair away from the desk, turning Janus to face him and holding him in place. "Oh Remus, you can't go around fucking everyone as you please, we are a deal! Bullshit, you just love to humiliate me in front of other people!"

"Yes, I do! Because you're a spoiled brat and you deserve to be humiliated since that's the only way you go back to your place!" Janus yelled back, standing up and pushing Remus away. "You want my attention?! You got it. What do you want? A quick fuck? A cuddle on the couch? A foot massage?!"

"I want you!" Remus cried out, and growled to himself as he grabbed his hair and tugged on it. "You're so busy with your work and your new stuff and making new friends and reminiscing over your memories and you're not giving a shit about me!"

Janus' anger dissipated and his eyes widened, before he walked closer to where Remus was standing, face hidden behind his hands.

"I'm... sorry" Janus said, softly, realizing that indeed he had been very distant lately. When he pulled Remus' hands away, his eyes were all teary and that made him feel even worst. "Oh come on Rem, don't cry..."

"I'm feeling awful" he mumbled, and Janus lead him to his office's couch, sitting down with his boyfriend and holding his hands. "You keep ignoring me and I don't have anyone else to talk to... I don't have friends and Virgil and Roman treat me like shit."

"You treat them like shit too Rem" Janus said, and Remus sighed, wiping his eyes angrily.

"Yeah I do, but they deserve it. It's different."

"Sure it is" Janus chuckled and pulled Remus for a cuddle, kissing his hair. "This is about Roman isn't it?"

"I saw him today. Talking to Virgil" he whispered, hugging Janus close. "They are so close, they never parted ways... And now... I have to give him the news, and I don't even know where to start, because every time I try to not be, well, me, my defenses come up and I'm rude and mean to him."

"I get it. But that's why you came all the way here. You have to tell him" Janus said, and Remus looked up at him, furrowing his eyebrows.

"How do you tell someone their parents died? And so long ago?" he asked, and sighed. "Roman is going to hate me. More than he already does."

"I don't think he hates you" Janus said, brushing Remus' hair back and smiling as he hummed happily. "I think he is just like you. Insecure and unsure. Virgil definitely hates you but that's besides the point."

"Oh the emo has all the right to hate me" Remus chuckled and laid happily on Janus' chest. "I was an asshole to him back in school."

"Did you bully him?" Janus asked, curiously, and Remus snorted loudly.

"Oh no, worst. I had a crush on him, and he had a crush on Roman, so one time, Roman went to France for six months to study and I pretended to be Roman for the whole time, since Virgil didn't visit our house much. I was able to lie to him throughout the six months and during those I confessed that I loved him, as Roman, and we dated, and I was so angry he liked Roman and not me that I literally cheated on him with everyone at school, to make him hate Roman when he came back. Sure, both of them hated me after they found out what I did, but at that time it was already college time and they just left me behind" he shrugged. "Typical."

"You... that was very mean" Janus chuckled, not being able to hold back the laugh. "Remus you asshole."

"I sure was. And so were you" Remus smiled, looking up at Janus. "That's why we work so well. Because we both suck."

"You surely have a way with words" Janus rolled his eyes, but smiled when Remus leaned up and kissed him, both fitting in nicely on the couch. Janus' hands made their way into Remus' curly, greasy hair, and pulled him down, tugging on the strands while the other man's hands slid under the teacher's shirt and over his stomach and chest.

They were both filled to the brim with regrets and bad decision making, but they seemed to fit in nicely with each other, and they liked each other very much.

It wasn't love, but it was the second best thing.

\-------------------------

"Wow... that was quite the story" Virgil said after Patton left the restaurant to go home and be with Thomas. Roman nodded, a bit shocked still, walking with the florist to his car so he could drive them home. "I never expected it to be... so intense."

"Makes our own high school drama seem very trivial" Roman admitted, getting in the car and driving off with Virgil nodding slowly. "I mean... Remus was an asshole... but at least he didn’t make the whole school hate us."

"Yeah... weird" Virgil whispered, looking out of the window. "It seems like... destiny really wanted us all to meet, doesn't it?"

"You think this is some sort of second chance or something?" Roman asked, looking over at the florist, who shrugged and looked back at him.

"I don't know Ro... what are the chances? We are from different towns, us and Patton, and yet somehow his high school boyfriend slash bully met Remus somewhere, and they clashed, and they dated, and now they are here? Isn't it... too much?"

"I don't know Vee" he sighed, looking at the road, taking the path to Virgil's house. "It does seem like too much of a coincidence but at the same time maybe it was just meant to be? I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to talk to Remus again. I don't know if I'll ever be."

"I am sure I'm not. I fucking hate him" Virgil said, crossing his arms. "I hate Remus with a passion. I would rather see him dead than here."

"Well, that sure isn't very nice" Roman chuckled nervously. "He is still my brother... Like... I love him."

"You... you don’t have to love your family just because they are your family Ro" Virgil rolled his eyes. "You don't owe him the pleasure."

"I know I don't. I don't love my family because they are my family. But I don't... hate Remus" Roman said, softly, because more than a talk it was a confession. He never opposed of Virgil talking loud and clear about his hatred towards his twin, but he himself never spoke his true feelings about the subject. But after Patton revealed so much of himself, he felt courage to finally speak the truth to Virgil, a truth he kept hidden for... ages. "I love him... and I miss him."

Virgil was quiet, and Roman felt himself getting more and more nervous every second that passed. Fuck. Had he ruined his friendship with Virgil? Was he mad? Was he upset? He couldn't look away from the road, he was too nervous to, but when he stopped at a red light, Virgil touched his hand, and Roman turned his face expecting the worst.

What he found was a very upset looking Virgil, which didn't ease his anxiety.

"Ro... did you always feel like this?" he asked, his voice soft, and Roman swallowed thickly.

"Y-yeah but like it's not a big deal" he said, trying to somehow save that conversation. "I know he's an asshole and shit, don't get me wrong, he's the worst-"

"Roman stop" Virgil whispered, and sighed softly. Luckily there were no cars around because the sign had turned green and they didn't even notice. "I... I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Roman asked, confused, and Virgil shook his head.

"I'm sorry for talking shit about him all the time! Gosh Ro, you should have told me you... ugh, I should have realized! I never meant to hurt you or like, I don't know... I'm so stupid!" the florist groaned, hitting his forehead with his hand. Roman immediately held his hands.

"You're not stupid Virgil don't say that! You didn't know and I didn't want to invalidate your feelings because I know how much he hurt you!"

"And yet I invalidated yours all this time!" Virgil cried out, his eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry! He is your brother, you have all the right to love him Ro! And I shouldn't have been so mean!"

"Oh Vee... you weren't mean, come on" Roman sighed and leaned in, hugging his best friend and smiling when he hugged back. "You're my best friend and I love you so much. And my brother was a dick to us, and to you specially, but you're right. I can't stop loving him, he's my bro, he's my twin! And I do love him."

"I know... I know that... I always knew that" Virgil whispered, sniffling softly. "God all of this because Patton told us that emotional story and now we are all sensitive and gross!"

"It' not gross" Roman chuckled and pulled back, smiling at Virgil. "I love you JD-lightful."

"I love you too, prep" Virgil chuckled and wiped his tears, hugging Roman tight again. "Never stop being my friend. I will never stop being your friend. Even if you decide you wanna be friends with your stupid brother again."

"I would never ever stop being your friend Vee" Roman chuckled and hugged him tight. "You're the jelly to my peanut butter, the moon to my sun, the whatever is dark and looks menacing to mine whatever is bright and looks shiny!"

"God you're the worst" Virgil chuckled and slapped his chest weakly, making Roman grin widely.

"Alright let's go home, it's getting late and we have work tomorrow!"

"And we were lucky no one honked at us."

"And we were lucky no one honked at us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost died because this chapter wasn't in the normal tab I keep this story and i thought I had deleted it but no here it is oof


	16. Into the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING DUKEXIETY OMG  
> Implied sexual content.

After that whole reveal, Roman talked to Logan again to assure him that he knew what was, in fact, going on. In all honesty, Logan wasn't at all happy with how careless Patton seemed to be with the information, but he was glad he didn't have to hide why he hated Janus so much anymore. Roman was still confused, asking him why he was so rude towards Janus when the true target had always been Patton, but once again, Logan didn't wish to disclose the full information.

"Let's just say that what Janus did didn't just impact us during high school" he said, and left it at that, and Roman accepted the answer because he knew he wasn't going to get anything else from Logan. He could be quite annoying when he wanted to be, even if he didn't mean to.

So there they were, in a new light. Virgil and Roman now knew exactly what had happened between Patton, Logan and Janus, Logan was still sore, Patton seemed to be perfectly fine, and they finally had the conversation they needed about Remus and his return into their life.

Weeks seemed to pass faster now that everything was sorted for. Patton kept his work and his routine with Thomas at perfect balance, as he always did; Logan started to slowly treat Janus with more respect, actually making sure he knew what he was doing, and working with him on new projects to assure their students had good learning experiences; Janus stopped pushing his anger towards Remus about not being accepted by Logan; Roman kept teaching his kids and designing clothes as he did, actually preparing his theater group for a presentation during winter break; Remus' tattoo shop finally finished being built and opened for business, and Virgil worked on his flower shop as he always did, taking care of his animals on Sundays and assuring that all the restaurants in the region had pretty vases on their tables.

Those were some good, quiet weeks, but of course, nothing good lasted too much.

Tuesdays were usually one of the weakest days for Virgil at his store. He didn’t know exactly why, but he used that to his advantage, using Tuesdays as his projects day, changing some plants from the window, redecorating, sometimes organizing. That particular Tuesday, he was working on some vases for a birthday party that would be happening in the next week, when he heard the doorbell ringing. He placed the vase down and turned to talk to his client, when he saw god damned Remus walking inside.

He couldn't have one single moment of peace and quiet without that trash of a man interrupting him.

Virgil's immediate thought was to tell Remus to 'get the fuck out', but as he opened his mouth to say it, Roman's voice came into his head and he frowned. After their talk weeks prior, he promised to himself that he would at least try to be cordial to Remus, not because of himself, but because he didn't want Roman to have to choose again between the two, in case he and Roman ended up becoming close again.

So he held his tongue and tilted his head. He still looked annoyed, but he wouldn't start any fights.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

Remus' shit eating grin disappeared for a split second, before it came back with even more power, his eyes glistening with malice as he looked at Virgil.

"Look who didn't fall out of bed this morning! Wow, I didn't know Virgil could be so polite" he said, giggling in that weird way of his, making Virgil's blood begin to boil. "If you're going to be so cordial, call me sir, please."

"Not a chance" Virgil responded through his teeth, but took a deep breath through his nose and crossed his arms. "Are you here to buy anything?"

"Oh, we are getting back to the Virgil I know" Remus said, wiggling his eyebrows and looking around. As he walked towards the counter, where Virgil was, he put his hands on every single plant and flower, making Virgil feel like ripping his hands off his body. "But no, I'm just here to visit. Movement is really slow on Tuesdays and I was bored."

"Why don't you go be bored at a bar or somewhere far from me?" Virgil asked, a tint of anger poisoning his voice. He just couldn’t help himself. But Remus, as usual, seemed amused, chuckling and raising an eyebrow as he finally stopped in front of the counter, raising one hand to hold his own head as he leaned over the surface.

"Nothing is half as fun as bothering you, Vee" he said, and Virgil felt himself snapping, turning back into his teenage self, grabbing Remus by the tank top he wore and pulling him up harshly.

"Don't you fucking dare call me Vee, you creep" he growled, and Remus looked at him, smirking and leaning closer, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

"What are you going to do about it... Vee?" he asked, grin showing again, and Virgil growled at him, pushing him away and making his way around the counter.

"Get out of my store! Now!" he yelled, pushing Remus back the way he came, but the man just laughed and let himself be pushed. He was way taller and stronger than Virgil, but he didn't seem to be posing any threat, which made Virgil even angrier for some reason. "Get out!"

"Careful there or you might hurt your orchids" he teased, smirking like the bitch he was before Virgil growled and pushed him hard against the door, that was unfortunately closed, so Remus just hit his back against it and grinned wide, eyes glistening. "Oh Vee."

Using the door as advantage, he grabbed Virgil's arms as he moved o push him again, twisting them around and holding him pressed against the door, hands over his head, and Virgil gasped as he looked up at Remus, stuck between him and the door, needing a moment to catch his breath.

"Let. Me. Go" Virgil growled, pulling onto his arms that were being held by Remus over his head, but the taller man just chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

"You have your legs free you know?" he asked, like an invitation. Most people would use it, lifting their legs and kicking their attacker in the balls like they deserved. But Virgil felt breathless, and even worst, really hot, and he wasn't really thinking right. When Remus noticed that, his smirk grew the size of his face, and he leaned in, their faces inches apart. "Am I seeing things? Or is angry little Virgil at my mercy by his own wishes?"

"S-shut up" Virgil mumbled, his voice trembling a bit, his breath turning harder and quicker at how close Remus was. He tried to lie to himself, but honestly? Yeah. He wanted this very badly.

"I think I will" Remus agreed, and let Virgil finish the distance between them, their lips crashing together in a kiss that had nothing sweet in it. Remus released his arms, pulling Virgil closer by his waist, while Virgil's hands found their way into Remus' hair, pulling and tugging until he let out a painful growl. The kiss was messy, filled with teeth clashing and tongue sliding, saliva and warm breaths, and the last rational thought Virgil had at that moment was to turn the little plaque to indicate that the store was closed, before taking Remus towards the small room behind the counter where he kept his equipment.

\--------------------------------

While Patton was extremely comfortable in knowing that his first boyfriend, past ex Janus would be a more constant person in his life due to his relationship with Roman's brother, he had to be honest when he said he didn't feel half as comfortable to listen about him through Thomas.

Yes, Janus was his teacher, had been now for almost three months, but it didn't make anything easier when Thomas talked about Janus and Logan in the same regard, as the 'best teachers' he had ever had, or how Janus was the only teacher that was ever able to teach him history effectively.

Patton knew it wasn't Thomas' fault, he was excited about his new teacher, who was fun and nice and treated everyone with respect and integrity, but it didn't make the situation any easier, specially because Patton could not, in any way shape or form, tell Thomas anything.

If there was one thing he praised was to keep his son away from any discomfort and danger.

So if he had to be uncomfortable throughout the entire dinner for Thomas' sake, he would.

"And then he said he is talking to the principal to make sure we can go and see some of the historical marks of our town during a class day! Like, isn't he amazing?! Classes outside?! It's a blast I love it!" Thomas said, all excited, and Patton smiled at him with as much happiness as he could muster.

"Yes! I always loved museums and historical marks. I think it is a great idea!" he said, and was about to ask Thomas more about his other classes when he started babbling again.

"Oh and Janus is also making up an essay for next semester that isn't going to be just 'write what you know about this subject' no! He said it will be free! We can do a song, a theater presentation, art, poems, write down a story, whatever we want! I can't wait to find out what my subject will be! I hope it's Greece because then I can make something about the Greek mythologies with Joan! Oh Joan! Joan loves Janus so much, you should see the two of them talking! I have never seen them participate in a class with so much enthusiasm! I'm so happy for them!"

"That’s great, I'm very happy for Joan too, but-" Patton tried again, but Thomas kept on talking. He talked and talked and talked and talked during the whole dinner, all about his incredible new history teacher. Luckily Logan wasn't there, or else he would have had a heart attack with how much Thomas seemed to love Janus.

And for the first time since Janus first showed up, he began to feel something bad towards him. An annoyance that was reserved for people Patton didn't like.

He was jealous of Janus for being so close to Thomas, but not in a good way. In a bad way. And he didn't like those thoughts or feelings.

"Kiddo, I would love to talk more but I'm so tired... work got my back all sore again" he said, and the lie tasted almost as bitter as the jealousy in his tongue. But not as much. Thomas' eyes widened and he immediately stopped talking about Janus.

"Oh dad sure! Is it hurting too bad? Do you need like some meds?" he asked always worried, and Patton smiled softly, shaking his head.

"No sweetheart, I'm feeling better already. I just need to rest... say what about we watch a movie instead? You and me? Whatever you want."

"Oh yeah! I'm feeling Jurassic park today" Thomas said, and that was very random, but Patton nodded and chuckled loudly.

"Alright. I'm going to get myself changed into my pajamas and we can watch whatever Jurassic park you want alright?" he asked, standing up, and Thomas was quick to nod, gathering the plates and putting them in the sink. "Leave the dishes to me."

"Alright dad. I'm gonna change too" he announced, smiling and running upstairs before Patton could even move. God, he really hoped Thomas didn't feel anything about his own uncomfortableness. He didn't want to make him feel bad for liking his history teacher.

Patton just needed... some time to adjust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahaha


	17. Teachers Feud

As days went by, they turned into weeks, and everything slowly turned out to be slightly easier than they all had imagined. So following the usual routine, Patton woke Thomas up, smiling at him as he whined and curled up under the blankets, and then went downstairs to fix them some breakfast. When Thomas came down, he looked tired, and Patton raised an eyebrow as the teen sat down.

"You didn't sleep well last night, did you?" he asked, and Thomas sighed loudly, grabbing himself some toast.

"No dad... next week is Janus' test and I'm freaking out. You know history is one of my worst subjects, I don't want him to go hard on us" he said, and Patton smiled, sitting down next to Thomas.

"Kiddo, you studied, you're intelligent and dedicated. I'm sure you will go great, and if you don't, we can always sit down and try to learn together" he said, and Thomas' eyes seemed to glisten.

"Dad, can I do the same thing I do with Logan when I'm not understanding stuff? Can I ask Janus to come and tutor me?" he asked, excitedly, and Patton pressed his lips together.

"Well Thomas... Logan does that because he knows me for... well our whole lives. I'm not sure if Janus would be willing to come over and help you study."

"I know dad but come on I just want to ask... if he says no it's no" he said, pouting widely. "Please? I bet he will love your cookies and tea!"

"Um... Thomas..." Patton said, awkwardly, but Thomas pouted more and made him sigh. "Fine. But remember, don't insist. If he says no, it's no."

"Thanks dad!" Thomas squealed, giving Patton a hug and running to get his stuff organized. After that, Patton took him to school, left him at the porch and went to work, coming back home later and accepting Roman's invitation for some drinks in the next night.

When said next night arrived, Patton made sure Thomas would be sleeping early and checked his phone, only to find out the meeting had been relocated to Virgil's house, and there he went, to Virgil's tiny apartment. When he arrived, no one had yet, and he made his way inside, smiling as Virgil offered some wine for starters.

"Sorry. It's a bit messy" he said, sitting down with Patton on the living room. The place was indeed a mess, and a bit too dark for Patton's liking, specially at night, but any time with Virgil was good time spent.

However he did notice that his florist friend was a bit tense.

"Virge, did something happen? You look uncomfortable" he said, worried, and Virgil's eyes widened before he shook his head and chuckled.

"No Pat, just busy with work that's all" he said, shrugging it off. "I have many weddings to prepare and this house is a bit messy because I'm just sleeping and showering here so like, no maintenance time."

"Oh Virgil, I told you many times that if you don't have the time I can come over and clean it up for you! You know I love cleaning!" Patton said, but Virgil simply chuckled at him.

"Come on Pat I'm not gonna make you come here and clean my stuff, specially for free which I know you will do, because you never remind me to pay you anything back which I hate."

"Money is tough for everyone, if I can spare you some trouble I absolutely will" he said, and looked back when the doorbell rang. "Must be Logan."

"Yeah. Princey is always late" Virgil chuckled and opened the door, and indeed, Logan made his way inside, putting his coat over the hanger and sighing in relief as Virgil handed him a glass of wine.

"Thank you Virgil, I feel like I would die today if we hadn't met. Working at a school can be so stressful sometimes" he said, sitting on the armchair next to the couch and nodding. "Hey Patton. How are you doing?"

"All fine Lo thank you for asking" Patton chuckled and showed his glass at him for silent toast. "So, hard day at work today?"

"The hardest. Janus asked me to collaborate in another project of his, but I am stuffed with projects already. He thinks that just because he is new everyone will have the time to help him? I don't thank you" he said, and Virgil sat back next to Patton, sipping on his wine.

"Trouble in paradise?" he teased and Logan looked at him angrily. "Sorry..."

"You and Roman don't get to make jokes just because you know the story now" he said, firmly, and Patton sighed.

"Logan let them do whatever they want, it's the past, they weren't even there."

"Sometimes you surprise me with how naïve you are" Logan said, raising his eyebrow at Patton before the bell rang again. Virgil stood up, rolling his eyes, and walked over, opening the door toa very fancible Roman, who walked in with his hands on his hips.

"Nerds, what did I miss?" he asked and Virgil chuckled.

"You missed Logan being pissed because Janus wants his help in a new project that’s pretty much it" he said, sitting again, and Roman sat in the armchair opposite to Logan.

"Oh come on Lo, think of the children" he said as he reached for his own glass of wine. "Hm this looks good Vee."

"Thanks" Virgil said and smiled at Roman while Logan sighed deeply.

"That's not it. I am happy he is interested in helping the children understand subjects better and I want him to do projects and succeed. The only thing is that I cannot help him at all! And not because I don't like him but because I am a senior teacher! I have way too much work to do."

"Sure. It's totally not about how much you hate him" Virgil said and Logan furrowed his eyebrows. Then Patton cleaned his throat and when Logan looked, he sighed.

"I have another bad news for you Lo" Patton said, a little nervous. "Turns our Thomas wants to invite Janus for tutoring lessons in history so... you won't be the only one around my house anymore."

"... what" Logan said, quiet, incredulous, and even Roman and Virgil widened their eyes.

"Patton are you serious? You're going to let him come over your house? Be in your safe place?" Roman asked, and Patton shook his head.

"Guys, I didn't want to, but Thomas... Thomas wants help. Maybe Janus will like, think and spare me of this awkwardness but I can't say no to Thomas, I mean, it wouldn't make any sense if I allowed this with everyone but Janus."

"But he doesn't request anyone else but me" Logan said, a tint of pain in his voice, and Patton sighed deeply, nodding as he looked down at his wine glass.

"I know. But I think... I think he really likes Janus. I'm sorry Lo. If it was anyone else... but it's Thomas and I can't have him knowing anything that happened, or even suspect anything."

"Thomas is smart Patton. Do you really think he won't figure out something just by having you two at your house at the same time?" Virgil asked, and Patton shook his head.

"I'll make sure he doesn't notice. I'm not that bad at lying when I want to."

Logan looked down and Patton felt horrible because he looked like he just felt betrayed. Roman reached out and held his hand, and Logan calmed down for a second, looking back up and nodding at Patton so he would know he wouldn't stay upset.

Virgil just looked between them and sipped on his wine.

"So anyway... how is your brother's tattoo shop going?" Patton asked Roman, trying to change the subject, and Roman shrugged, his hand and Logan's drifting away.

"No idea Patton, I just see it when I go to Virgil's, but I think it's finally open for business? Do you know Vee?" he asked, and Virgil went pink before he coughed and nodded.

"Yeah sorry the wine, yeah yeah it's open for business, I can't believe I'm going to have to see him almost every day" he said, groaning, but inside his heart was racing a bit too fast.

Luckily no one seemed to notice his lie.

"I'm sorry. I hope the best luck to you because he looks like he is very inconvenient" Logan said, seeming more relaxed, and Virgil nodded, drinking down his wine.

Oh, Remus was very inconvenient.

The talk about other people seemed to die there, and they began to talk about more interesting subjects. Roman told them all about the theater play he was going to do with the kids during winter break and the talk drifted on and on until two am. Then, they all went home, and Patton got himself ready for another day, hoping to not have left Logan too upset.

\---------------------

Back at Remus' mansion, someone was also somewhat freaking out.

"So you're telling me that Thomas Sanders, one of your students, wants you to go and tutor him? What's the big deal?"

Janus stared at Remus where he was eating his snacks on the couch and walked to him, standing between him and the TV.

"Could you please pay attention to me?!"

"Ugh what?" Remus asked, sitting up and looking at Janus. The teacher sighed and sat down on the armchair, looking at his boyfriend.

"Thomas is Patton's son. Remember Patton? Your brother's friend? The guy I told you that whole story about? The one I never meant to ever see again?!"

"The one with that whole thing with your parents?" Remus asked and Janus nodded. "What about him?"

"God... damn it Remus it is impossible to talk to you about anything" he groaned, pulling his hair lightly and then sighing. "I don't want to go to his house, because I am awkward around him, but I said yes already, and now Thomas wants me to come over on Saturday so we can study and I can eat Patton's... cookies and tea or whatever. Do you know how much Logan is going to hate me if I go?!"

"Not my problem, and not your problem either" Remus shrugged and tapped Janus' hand. "Go over the guy's house, help his kid, eat some cookies, hell even fuck. Have some fun Janus! Back in college days you liked to get into trouble, fuck up with other losers, and now you're this little perfect rich man that only cares about status and how other people will see you."

"This isn't about other people Remus. This is about two men that I have a past with. Two men that I hurt, that I fucked up with, and that are now coming back into my life and I don't want to fuck up again" he said firmly, crossing his arms. "Don't you see that I care about them? Or are you too far up your own ass to see it? Is your hate towards Roman and Virgil blinding you or something?"

"It might be, but get this. People are not easy to deal with. You wanna go there and try to make amends with those losers you were mean to during high school? Fine. Have fun with that. But remember that they don't owe you anything, and if they refuse, don't come crying. Sometimes things we do are too far gone for us to fix."

"Wow, finally a token of wisdom from you today" Janus said, rolling his eyes and sighing. "I'm just worried Rem. I don't want them to hate me again."

"And they won't" Remus said, moving closer and taking Janus' hands on his own. "You can do whatever you want, you are the most malicious and powerful man I have ever known. So just go there and teach that kid and eat those cookies and have fun, let it come back naturally. No one will be mad, and if they are, to hell with them. You're helping a kid."

"You... do have a point" Janus whispered, and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Remus' lips. "Thank you babe... sometimes you really do know what to say."

"Only sometimes, hopefully."

"Oh no don't worry you're still an idiot 90% of the time."

"Good."


	18. Tutoring Lessons

As requested by Thomas, Janus organized his schedule and gathered his materials to head over to his house Friday, after school. Thomas had told Patton that Janus would be taking him home, which normally would have been a wide red flag, but considering he knew Janus, Patton allowed it, not thinking too much about it.

And in fact there was no problem, as once classes ended, Thomas rushed to the teachers' lounge and stayed by the door, smiling to himself and waiting for Janus just as Logan walked out.

"Oh Thomas, hello" he said, smiling at the teen, who smiled brightly right back at him.

"Hello uncle Logan" he responded, since once out of teacher/student duty, that was how he referred to Logan. "I'm waiting for professor Janus. He is going to help me study for his test."

"Oh really? That seems extremely nice of his part" Logan said, almost not able to hold back the grudge. But he was, because he knew Patton would have his head if Thomas ever found out anything about that issue. "I mean, is he going to do that to the other students? Or you're just the lucky one?"

"Do you do that to the other students or am I the lucky one?" Thomas asked, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows, making Logan's eyes widen before he chuckled.

"You got me there Thomathy. Have fun" he ruffled his hair, and walked away, heading home and immediately sending a message to someone. Thomas watched Logan walk away, and a minute later Janus walked out, smiling when he saw Thomas there.

"Hello mister Sanders."

"Call me Thomas!" he said, all excited, and Janus laughed softly before nodding.

"Of course Thomas. Come on, follow me" he said, walking away and being followed by Thomas towards the teachers' parking lot. "So, is my test provoking too much anxiety on you? Because it shouldn't, you have done a great job in my previous activities."

"I'm glad I did, but history was always a tough subject for me. I've always done better in sciences, chemistry and biology specially."

"Logan's areas of expertise, he taught you well" Janus said, unlocking his car and getting inside. Thomas followed, excited, his eyes wide at how pretty and expensive Janus' car was. "Tell me, you know him for a long time don't you?"

"Yeah!" Thomas said, buckling up and looking around as Janus drove off. "Since I was born. He raised me with my dad, until we moved out. I think I was... six? Yeah six, when dad and I moved out of Logan's flat. I don't remember but we have the pictures."

"That's very sweet, Logan is an extremely good person and a great teacher, for what I can tell" Janus said, trying not to indicate anything. He wasn't very good at it. "So, what parts of my subject are you more worried about?"

"Mainly the time periods. I know we just started Rome and all but I'm awful with dates" Thomas said, hugging his bag tightly. "Can I ask you something not related to school?"

"Of course."

"Are you rich?"

Janus' eyes widened and he couldn't help but chuckled deeply, a small nod following his laughter.

"Yes, you can say that I am. Why?"

"Dad told me you are Roman's brother's boyfriend, that you two live in a mansion. And... well I don't know a lot about cars but I know this one is very expensive. I have never met someone rich before" Thomas blushed, looking down at his feet. "Sorry I was curious, hope I didn't offend."

"No of course you didn't. Yes I live in a mansion with Remus, Roman's brother. And yes I am rich, so is Remus. You could come over one day, if you'd like to. I believe your father wouldn't mind."

"Maybe he would, I don't know. I'll ask him" Thomas grinned and looked out of the window again. "I can't wait. I think you're going to love his cookies."

"Perhaps" Janus said, looking forward and driving to Patton's house.

It sure felt weird.

Once there he parked at the entrance, getting out of the car and following Thomas to the house. The block looked very relaxing, with small houses all around, and Patton's had it's own charm, with a small well taken care of garden and no fences or anything. Thomas opened the door and walked inside, making his way to the dining area and placing his bag over the table.

"Come in!" he said, and Janus walked inside, closing the door behind himself. "Dad is not home yet, won't be for like two hours still. He works late during week days" he added, grinning at Janus. "Get yourself comfortable, I'll get you something to drink. What would you like?"

"Water would be perfect thank you" Janus said, and then took his time to look around as Thomas walked into the kitchen. The place was so... small. And yet, it was like he could feel Patton at every cranny, every inch, every decoration, every color. It brought a feeling of uneasy inside himself, mainly because of the calming and loving feeling that came before.

It was like walking inside Patton's little world.

The entrance was a small hallway with an opening to the living room and to the kitchen, connected with stairs that took to the upper floor. The walls were decorated with pictures, most of them of Thomas and Patton, young and old, some with Patton's family, some others with Logan. As he walked into the living room, he noticed the couch in front of the TV, a fireplace right underneath it. The coffee table, with a game console and remote controls, and right up ahead the dining table, clean, with nothing but Thomas' bag over it. The room was also very well decorated, with pictures, paintings and curtains all around, rugs underneath the furniture, walls painted a light beige. The kitchen was next to the living room, separated by a half wall, and it seemed brighter, but still small and cozy, with little hanging boards around, a fridge, a small table for breakfast...

For some reason, that small house made his heart ache in a way that hadn't in... a very long time.

Thomas returned with two glasses of water and placed them over the dining table, before he smiled at Janus and nodded.

"I'm all ready! Do you want to start or..."

"Let's begin" Janus said, nodding and walking over, pushing all those feelings and thoughts away. He sat next to Thomas and organized his materials, making sure to focus on the task ahead, not letting his heart interrupt their mentoring lesson.

This had nothing to do with Patton.

Two hours passed faster than anyone could have thought, with Thomas' curiosity and constant questions making them both enter in topics and conversations that didn't have anything to do with the classes themselves. Eventually the entrance door opened, but they were locked up in such a heated and interesting discussion that neither heard it, and Patton walked inside slowly, seeing Janus and Thomas talking and studying over the history books.

He couldn't help but smile at how excited Thomas sounded, but seeing Janus and Thomas sitting and talking on the dining table made things to his heart that he didn't want to think about.

He left his coat over the hanger and made his way upstairs quietly, not wanting to bother them. He locked the bedroom door just in case and took a shower, getting himself clean and ready so he could make dinner and the cookies Thomas requested. Once out he put on comfy clothes, not his pajamas because he had a guest, and walked downstairs again, this time seeing Thomas and Janus turn to look at him.

"Hey dad! Sorry, we didn't see you get in!" Thomas said, always excited, and pointed to Janus. "He came!"

"I can see that" Patton chuckled. "Hello Janus. Should I prepare the cookies? You are staying for dinner correct?"

"I..." Janus said, seeming somehow speechless, which wasn't usual, but Thomas turned to him with a pout.

"Please stay?"

"Um... sure" he nodded, and Thomas grinned. "Yes of course I will stay."

"Great. I will start to prepare everything. You two have fun" Patton said, walking to the kitchen to make dinner. "Janus, are you vegetarian or vegan or intolerant to anything?"

"No, not really" Janus responded, and Patton nodded, beginning to season the chicken he had taken out of the freezer. Soon, he heard Janus and Thomas' voice again as they returned to their discussion, and smiled bitterly to himself.

Oh, that dinner was going to be like a sore cut being soaked with alcohol: painful, but ultimately necessary.

Dinner got ready right at the time Patton believed it would, and so did the cookies. He put the dessert to cool at a tray and then asked the two to get their things off the table so they could eat. Janus removed his materials and Thomas threw away his bag, before he rushed to grab the plates and silverware. Once set, Patton brought the food and sat down, smiling at Thomas.

"So, how was your studying lesson this afternoon?" he asked, and Thomas grinned even wider.

"It was amazing! Even though I think we went a little beyond test subjects" he giggled, looking at Janus who gave him a tiny nod and smile.

"Yes I believe we did. Your son is very intelligent, and even better, he is very curious. I like that in my students" Janus said, his eyes moving to look at Patton, suddenly feeling awkward and looking down at his food again.

"Yes, Thomas has that talent" Patton chuckled, serving himself and starting to eat. The tension was clear as day, and yet both adults were doing their best for Thomas not to feel it. Luckily, Thomas seemed so entertained by what he had learned that he just started to talk and talk and talk about all the historical events that Janus had told him about. Things they usually didn't learn during school.

But eventually dinner had to end, and when it did, Patton told Thomas to say his goodbyes to Janus and go take a shower, like he should have done. Thomas complained but when Janus promised to return and work with him throughout more subjects, Thomas agreed, saying goodbye and rushing upstairs. Patton left the dishes at the table and grabbed some cookies, putting them in a little container before guiding Janus outside.

It was already very dark, but luckily he had lights on his garden.

"I have to guess that you had a lot of fun?" Patton asked, smiling at Janus as he walked out, and the teacher stopped, looking at Patton in the middle of the garden.

"I hope this wasn’t too intrusive, I couldn't say no to Thomas" he said, quietly, and Patton shook his head.

"Don't worry Janus. You're welcome at my house whenever you like. Thomas... really likes you, I'm glad. He never had a lot of interest in learning history before, I think this will be very beneficial."

"You start talking like Logan when you're nervous" Janus said, softly, and blushed because that shouldn't have left his thoughts. Patton blushed too, and looked away, towards the garden gnome to his left.

"It's hard not to be nervous around you" he said, honestly, because it was hard for Patton not to be honest. He wasn't as good as Janus at lying. Then he sighed and looked up again at the teacher. "But I think with time, we will be able to be comfortable around each other again."

"You seemed very comfortable when we talked at that café" Janus said, not being able to help himself, giving one step closer to Patton, to which he just responded with a chuckle.

"The café wasn't my house. The café didn't have this emotional attachment" he said, and crossed his arms over his chest, in a silent and subconscious way of protecting himself. Not that he knew about it, but Janus could tell. He had taken a few classes on psychology. "Anyway, I'm glad you and Thomas are getting along."

"He asked to come see my house, I told him he could if you said yes" Janus said, and Patton tilted his head. "You could come too, if you'd like."

"I've been to your house before."

"That party does not count" he chuckled, and then sighed. "Anyway... I should get going. I have classes to prepare for next week."

"Sure. Have a good night Janus" Patton said, handing him the container with the cookies, and Janus took it, their fingers brushing together for less than one second, making both of them step back.

"Goodnight... Patton" he whispered, and then got into his car, driving off while Patton watched.


	19. Alone Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings of implicit sex. (I swear that's all Dukexiety is gonna do in this story)

While he walked over to his car, after having that short interaction with Thomas, Logan couldn't help himself and texted the only person that could help him with the anger he was feeling at the moment.

-feeling like shit-

-... is this about Thomas being tutored by Janus?-

-yes-

-be at your house in ten-

Logan sighed to himself in relief and drove off, putting on a loud song in the car and driving home with that beat almost deafening him. He didn't care, he needed to get those thoughts out of his head, or he would start to feel angry for nothing.

It wasn't Thomas' fault that he hated Janus and he couldn't let that show.

When he got to his house, the car was already parked in front of it. Since there was no one inside, he assumed correctly that they had already made their way up to his flat, and thus he got inside the garage, parked the car and went upstairs through the elevator. He checked for the key hidden under the mat and when he found nothing, he opened the door, raising an eyebrow at the image in front of him.

"What? He missed me" Roman said as he laid down on Logan's couch, Data laid comfortably on his chest, purring so loud that Logan could hear it from far away. He closed the door and put his bag down, before walking to the couch and waiting until Roman sat up, the cat meowing in complaint until he settled on the designer's lap.

"He's probably smelling your birds" Logan said, looking at the man next to him. "What did you bring?"

"Your favorite" Roman grinned, taking the bottle from behind the couch. "Japanese sake, with cherry blossom and grapes."

"Yeah, I love that" Logan said and stood up to grab the glasses and some snacks. He came back and opened the drink, serving them both and offering Roman some of the salted sticks he had. "I know you eat this with whiskey but I don't care."

"I sure don't either" Roman snorted and started to eat, trying not to move so Data could sleep. "So, is therapy section going to start? What happened?"

"Nothing happened expect for Thomas' strange interest in Janus which not only I don't understand but I also do not like" Logan said, sighing deeply and sipping on his drink. "In all logical thought I think I am... jealous."

"Oh no shit sherlock where did you get that from?" Roman snorted, and Logan gave him a death glance. "Listen, before you get mad at me, it's true. You don't like Janus, you love Thomas, and you don't like Thomas liking Janus. It's two plus two buddy, even I can make that math."

"But why... ugh" Logan rubbed his temple and ate some of the sticks. "I don't get it... why am I the only one reacting badly to this? Am I... in the wrong here?"

"Absolutely" Roman said, and when Logan looked at him, he raised his hand. "Hey listen, I'm not a soft person alright, I speak what I think. And considering Patton's opinions about all of this, I do think you're on the wrong. He doesn't care, he was the one Janus was trying to hit, why should you hold grudge?"

"Because you know as well as I do that Patton can be an idiot when he wants to, and he can let his feelings talk over his own wellbeing! Do you remember how hard it was to make Patton realize he was in a bad relationship last time?! How can I be certain that this isn't his love for Janus coming back and blinding him?!"

"You can't, Lo" Roman said, tapping his leg. "You can't. But you can't keep waiting your energy on it either. Patton hasn't dated anyone in... five years, since that last asshole. He went to therapy and he learned about everything. And now he seems happy and fulfilled with where he is. So what if he's falling in love again for his ex? Who doesn't? But I doubt he will be stupid and get into that spiral of depression and unhappiness he was before. He grew, Logan. Don't ignore that."

"I'm not. But Janus isn't... he isn't an abusive man, or an abusive ex, he is..." Logan sighed, and rubbed his eyes. "He is... the reason Patton is like he is."

"Would you care to explain?" Roman asked, holding his friend's hand, and Logan took a sip from his drink before nodding.

"After everything that Patton told you happened, we left for college and started living together. He thought he was bisexual at the time and started dating a girl who was a fucking bitch, I hated her. Then, after just a few months, she found out she was pregnant, and she made Patton's life hell. Due to not being legal at the time, she didn't abort the baby, but she left Patton with Thomas and he just... he was too young Roman. He was too young, he took care of Thomas by himself, dropped out of college, got a second hand job just to be able to pay rent, and it was fucking exhausting, he was tired all the time, he got into awful relationships, and I just saw him suffering for years on end... all because of Janus and the way he made Patton feel."

"You blame Janus for everything that happened?" Roman asked, and when Logan looked up at him, Roman sighed. "Lo, that's not fair to him. You don't know what happened, and besides, so many things could have occurred after that. Besides, Thomas is the most beautiful person in this entire world, he is sweet and kind... did you really wish he had never existed?"

"NO! No no I never meant that, I-" Logan said, frustrated, and suddenly he felt his eyes burning and tearing up. "I love Thomas, he's like a son to me, I took care of him whenever Patton wasn't around, we raised him together, and it was... it was fucking amazing, Roman..."

Roman looked at him, while Logan looked at his drink, wiping his eyes and sighing shakily. Then it clicked, and Roman pulled Logan closer, gently, taking the glass away from his hand and putting it on the coffee table before hugging him.

"I got it. I understand now" he whispered, and Logan didn't pull away as he usually did, his face pressed against Roman's chest while Data jumped off, letting them get closer. "This isn't about Patton at all, is it?"

"It wasn't fair..." Logan whispered, closing his eyes as Roman rubbed his back, slowly, comfortingly. "He promised us he would be our friend and then tossed us away like nothing... like we didn't even matter... and then Patton got depressed and he hated himself Ro, it was like his light faded off, and I had to watch it, not knowing what to do. Sometimes I could hear him cry during the night and I couldn't do anything... and after Thomas was born he was so happy but he was so tired... he passed out on the couch and I had to watch as he drank liters of coffee to keep himself away during his shift, and I had to change diapers and sing Thomas to sleep, take care of him while Patton was out getting some money, when Thomas got sick I had to give up everything, college, work, everything to go to the hospital, to watch him, I slept with him when he got nightmares and I made him toys because we didn't have enough to buy him anything... I love him so fucking much and yet I hate what we went through... I'm a fucking monster..."

"What? Of course you're not" Roman whispered, pulling away, taking off Logan's glasses and wiping his tears. "No, Logan, you're a normal person. A person with regrets, with feelings, with crashing thoughts... you're not a monster, you are growing and getting your life back together after so much shit happened."

"But I cant... blame a baby for something that wasn't his fault! And I love Thomas, I, I would have done it all again if I had to, I love Thomas, I love Patton, I never-"

"I know" Roman whispered, fixing his hair and brushing his tears away. "Lo I know. And they know it too. And if you feel jealous over Thomas, over Patton, you don't have to. They would never, ever change you for anything. Anyone. They love you so much Lo, you're family to them. You truly are."

"But-"

"What you're feeling is fear. You're scared that because Janus is back, he will destroy the peaceful lives you and Patton and Thomas have now. But believe me, he will not" Roman added, smiling at his friend. "You're not angry, or jealous, or being a monster. You're scared. And that's fine. We all have the right to be scared from time to time."

"But what should I do? I don't want to be scared, I don't... I don't want to be mad at Patton or Thomas, and I don't want Janus to... I don't know, hurt them" he said, his voice trembling a bit, and the designer nodded.

"I honestly think you should talk to Patton about this. Be honest with him. You two are an old married couple, he will understand" he said, and Logan sighed, nodding and wiping his own tears.

"Maybe I should... god I probably look like a crying baby right now, this is so unprofessional."

"Why do you have to be professional around me?" Roman asked, smiling and ruffling his hair. "You're my favorite nerd!"

"Oh shut up Roman, I'm older than you."

"One year doesn't count, and actually, it doesn't matter because you're still my nerd!"

"Please shut up."

"Nerd!"

"Prep!"

\-----------------------------

"Fuck..."

Virgil looked up at the ceiling, breathing hard, his hair a mess and blankets covering him up to his chest as he held them firmly with his hands. Remus chuckled loudly next to him, arms under his head as he took looked up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath.

"Either you have had some practice, Vee, or you are a god damn talent in the art of sex" Remus said, smirking at him, and Virgil felt his face heating up as he slapped his chest.

"Quiet" he growled, turning to face him. "Shouldn't you be worried about the hour? Your boyfriend could be home at any minute."

"Open relationship Virgil, and also, so what? We are at your flat, he doesn't have to know" Remus smirked, turning to face the florist and moving closer, pulling him by the waist closer until they were pressed together. "I can go a third round if you want."

"No, this has gone too far" Virgil said, pushing Remus away and turning around to get up, but Remus grabbed him and pulled him down again, making Virgil squeal and blush as he straddled the smaller man.

"Oh come on we haven't even started... and besides, you're crazy about me, it's not like you can hold yourself back" he whispered, smirking and leaning down, brushing his lips down Virgil's cheek to his jaw and up his ear, making the florist shiver and moan as his hips bucked up again. "You're so eager already and you just came, come on, don't lie to me Vee..."

"I fucking hate you" Virgil groaned, gasping as Remus bit down his neck and moaning as he sucked a mark on it, his wrists struggling underneath Remus' grasp. " _Fuck_."

"You sure do" he whispered, sucking on his earlobe and then moving down to kiss Virgil again, just a brush of lips before pulling away, making the florist following his head. "You want a kiss baby? You're so needy darling."

" _Remus_ " Virgil whimpered, losing all his composure again, losing all and every valid argument because he just wanted him so bad. And Remus could see that, licking his lips and humming as he wiggled his waist, rubbing against Virgil, making him moan and buck up again, gasping for something, anything. "Remus, fucking hell..."

"Only if you say you want me" Remus sang, leaning down and kissing his cheek, his nose, his jaw, his neck, all in small pecks, while Virgil struggled under him, completely at his mercy.

"I want you, I want you, please, are you fucking happy now?! I want you to fuck me until I can't walk, I want you to ride me until I have nothing left, I want you to hurt me and I want to hear your fucking moans when I hurt you, are you happy now?! For fuck's sake Remus do _something_!"

Remus looked down at Virgil with eyes wide and grin wider, their eyes locking as Virgil panted and stared deep within Remus' green irises. The tattoo artist felt his ego boosted up to the max and leaned down, brushing his nose to Virgil's.

"Whatever you want, princess."

Virgil moaned as they kissed again, already making the sheets fly away as they gripped and pressed against each other.

Virgil was fucked. Figuratively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah you guysssss


	20. Secrets

Honestly? Logan tried. He tried very, very hard to stop his little vendetta against Janus and treat him like a fellow colleague at his workspace. After his talk with Roman, things seemed simpler somehow, and every time he thought about giving Janus a rude comment or stare at him angrily, he remembered Roman's words and immediately calmed down.

Roman did have a great effect on him.

But sadly, the opposite wasn't very true.

Despite his best efforts, it seemed like Roman simply couldn't muster the courage to talk to Remus at all. He had tried several times before, and almost daily he passed by his tattoo shop, looking inside, watching as Remus either talked to some client or some employee. He seemed so happy in there, so different from the last time Roman had seen him back when they were eighteen, and something really painful filled his heart every time.

It was really hard for him.

So after walking by the tattoo shop again, he walked closer to it, feeling a boost of confidence filling up his heart. He walked inside, listening to the quiet bell, since he hadn't seen Remus through the windows, and walked to the counter where a girl was writing down on a piece of paper.

"Hello sir how can I help?" she asked, looking up at him, and Roman stared at her nervously, biting his bottom lip. Even she looked a bit surprised, probably because she recognized him as he and Remus were indeed identical twins.

"Hi, I'm Roman... I wanted to talk to Remus... is here working?" he asked, his confidence slowly disappearing, and she stared at him for a little longer before shaking her head.

"No man, he left like an hour ago. Said he needed to run some errands. Won't come back until after lunch" she said, and Roman bit his bottom lip, nodding slowly at her.

"Oh okay, thank you. Could you tell him when he arrives that his brother came by?" he asked, and after a nod from her, Roman left the shop with a sigh. Looking forward he saw Virgil's little flower shop and made his way over, deciding that talking to his best friend would be more than essential at that moment.

As he came closer, he noticed the sign saying the store was open, but didn't see anyone inside. He opened the door, smiling at the bell ringing, and looked around at the flowers, guessing that Virgil was probably on the back working on some deliveries.

"Vee?" he called, smiling at a beautiful red rose close to the entrance. He heard something falling from inside Virgil's storage area and frowned. "Virgil? Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" he heard, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, coming closer. "I'll be right out Ro! Just wait a minute!"

"Do you want some help?"

"NO! I mean n-no thanks Ro not necessary!" Virgil said, and Roman was a bit confused, but Virgil never let anyone help before so whatever he was doing must have been important. Roman distracted himself with the flowers around, loving the new vases Virgil had done himself, even grabbing himself a rose to take home with him. Virgil's shop was incredibly pretty and sweet, and he felt really calm whenever he was in there.

Eventually Virgil walked out, sighing and pushing his hair back, and when Roman looked at him his cheeks were red.

"Hey Vee..."

"Hey Ro" Virgil said, sighing and fixing some papers. "Sorry. There was a very large vase I had to move in there, you know I'm not very... strong" he said, and Roman nodded slowly.

"Yeah I know. Are you okay? I can come over another time..."

"No no I'm fine" he chuckled, recomposing himself and looking more like the Virgil Roman knew. "So Ro, what's up? Came for some decor for your new play? It's what... a month from now?"

"Yeah, time passes way too fast when you're having fun" Roman chuckled and walked closer, sitting on the little stool Virgil had in front of the counter for the clients. "No, I'm here to talk... do you have a moment?"

"For you? Always" Virgil smiled and started to work on his typical bouquets. "What's up?"

"It's about... Remus" Roman said, looking down at his rose. He sighed, caressing the petals and frowning to himself. "I went by his store today... he wasn't there. I really wanted to talk to him."

"... about?" Virgil asked, softly, and Roman looked up at his friend again with a shrug.

"Anything. Everything. It's been a while" he whispered, and leaned over the counter, supporting his head on his hand. "I'm sorry for talking about this to you, I know you hate him... but I don't have anyone else to talk to."

"You have Patton and Logan but sure I get it" Virgil smiled and also sat down on his own little stool. "Maybe you should come back there later, he should be there eventually."

"Yeah, but the courage already left me" Roman whispered, rubbing his eye with his hand. "Gosh Vee I miss him so much... like so much. I hadn't thought about him in years and now he came back, he has been in town for almost three months, and fuck... I didn't even talk to him since that party in august. What kind of brother that makes me?"

"A normal one" Virgil assured, sighing and holding Roman's hand. "Look, I don't have any brothers. The closest I have of siblings are the kids at the orphanage I was raised in, which means nothing because I literally don't talk to any of them. So I don't know how you feel. But Ro, if you want to, if you feel like you need to, you should talk to him. Make an effort. We both know how Remus is... but he is still your brother."

"I don't think he is" Roman whispered, tangling his and Virgil's fingers together. "I don't think he sees me as a brother anymore. I don't blame him. I left him alone, I abandoned him... for good reasons but still. Do you think he could ever forgive me? I don't think I would forgive myself."

"Of course he will Roman. You may be twins but remember what he always said? You are his little bro, that will never change. And if you make the first step then, who knows, maybe he will come around too."

"... I never thought you would be the one convincing me to talk to him again" Roman said, smiling, and Virgil blushed a bit before chuckling.

"Well, that talk that we had really... changed my perspectives" he said, smiling at his friend. "Don't think too hard about it. Follow your heart like you always did."

"I will" Roman whispered, squeezing Virgil's hand. "Thank you Vee. I think I'll go now, wait until lunch time and then go to his store to talk to him again."

"Do that and then tell me how it went" Virgil said, pulling away when Roman stood up. "Now I have a huge vase to paint on and a lot of little bouquets to make. So don't stick around too long."

"I won't. See ya Vee" Roman chuckled, making his way out of the store with the rose in hand.

After Roman was completely out of view, Virgil let out a shaky sigh and pressed his face into his hands.

Right as a set of arms wrapped around his waist, making him squeal.

"I didn't know my brother wanted me back into his life so much" Remus purred against Virgil's neck, kissing it from behind, and Virgil groaned loudly before pulling Remus' hands away and turning around to push him off.

"I told you that you had to stay inside" he growled, pushing Remus back into the storage room and closing the door. "He could have come back!"

"Oh Virgil, come on? What would he do? Yell at you?" he smirked, pressing Virgil against the door gently, bodies glued together, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. "You look so cute flustered."

"I absolutely despise you" Virgil responded through his teeth, looking up at Remus as the man chuckled and tilted his head.

"I like it just like that" he said, and leaned down, kissing Virgil's cheek. "Also, when were you going to tell me my brother missed me so much?"

"I..."

"Were you afraid that if we went back on being close you and I wouldn't be able to keep this going?"

"Remus" Virgil said, his tone serious, pushing the man away and looking into his eyes with a firm expression. "Listen. I didn't want to push Roman's trust. If you mention or even allude to what you heard here in this store, I swear to you that not only this is never happening again, but I will find a way of getting you out of this town. And you know I can do it."

"You scare me so emo" he chuckled, caressing his cheek in a way that wasn’t very... Remus. "But fine, I agree to your terms. However, this will prove itself to be way more satisfactory than all the parties could have wondered. I think my feud with my brother is very close to being finished."

"Are you going to befriend him again?" Virgil asked, surprised and hopeful, and Remus chuckled deeply.

"We will see... these tides are not done changing yet."

\--------------------------

Logan looked up from his desk as he finished some reports after listening to someone knocking on the door. The door opened, and Janus appeared from behind it, tilting his head at the science teacher.

"Can we talk?"

With a nod, Logan allowed him in.

Janus made his way to the desk and sat down on the opposite side, placing his notes over it and fixing himself before looking up to Logan. The science teacher looked back at him, raising an eyebrow, and Janus took a deep breath.

"I made up a project to unite our subjects in an easy way, to show the students how history and science can be interconnected. I know you teach biology and chemistry, so I thought of making a week after winter break all about the different science discoveries in those areas, together with their historical periods and what happened during, before and after the discoveries."

"Sounds interesting" Logan said, reaching for Janus' notes and eyeing them. "Did you think of this alone?"

"Um... no. Thomas and I had the idea while I was tutoring him" Janus said, softly, and Logan looked up at him again before nodding and looking at the notes. "I... honestly hope you don't mind that I am tutoring him in history. I know you two are very close, and I-"

"There's no need to apologize or worry about anything, Janus. Thomas is his own person, he decides whom he wants to assist him. And besides, being a kid as he is, he has no prior knowledge of our past, so I don't expect him to take sides."

"... Logan, are you ever going to forgive me for what happened?" Janus asked, slightly upset, and Logan faced him again, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry, let me rephrase that question for you. Am I ever going to forget what happened? Absolutely not. Will I ever forgive you? Perhaps, but the fact is that you never apologized in the first place, so you are not truly sorry, or refuse to accept that you are."

Janus' eyes widened as he stared at Logan, who simply looked back down at the notes and studied them. Uncomfortable silence filled up the room, and after a long moment, Janus took a deep breath and cleaned his throat, calling Logan's attention.

"I... am sorry for what I did to you and Patton back in high school" Janus said, as sincerely as he could, looking at his colleague with a shaken but decided expression. "I know I hurt both of you deeply, and I am sorry."

Logan looked back at him, his face unreadable, before he let out a sigh and nodded.

"Alright. But the only way I will every forgive you truly is if I understand" he said, and held his own hands over the papers Janus had brought him. "What happened? What happened that summer? What made you... hate us so much? What made you change so drastically?"

Janus looked at him, seeming to expect the question, letting out a soft sigh through his nose before he looked away.

"Can we at least get some coffee for this?"

"Of course" Logan nodded, and took the phone next to his desk, dealing the maintenance. "Clara, could you please bring two coffees to my room? One black no sugar and one with cream, one sugar and cinnamon. Thank you."

"You... know my order?" Janus asked, his eyes wide, and Logan raised his eyebrow.

"I know everyone's orders. Now please, tell me what happened."

"It's going to be a long story" Janus chuckled, and nodded, clearly uncomfortable. "Alright, here it goes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm feeling needy for comments :(


	21. The other side of the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for homophobia, disfiguration, fire accidents, burning, convertion therapy and physical, emotional and mental abuse.

\--------------------------------

Being with Patton was the most beautiful, incredible thing that had ever happened in Janus' life. Patton was bright, happy, he always sported a smile, he always laughed and made sure everyone else around him was at least content. He tried to make friends with everyone, even people who hates his guts. He was naïve, sweet, kind, a gentle soul, everything Janus always thought he wasn't.

And yet, Patton found him... _beautiful_.

Patton didn't care about his scar. Patton didn't care about his upbringing. Patton didn't care about his money, about his looks, about his ways, he didn't care about how malicious Janus could be, he didn't care about his parents, about his lack of social abilities, Patton didn't care about anything other than loving him. And that... that was beautiful.

So fighting with Patton wasn't easy at all.

Janus knew his parents would never accept him. He knew they would never allow him to love another boy, they would never allow him to love someone from a lower social class, they would never allow him to be happy. He couldn't just... spill it out to them. They weren't normal parents. They were awful, and Janus hated them.

Ever since he was little, they treated him like a soon to be prince. He had to learn etiquette, he had to wear fancy, prickly clothes, he had to gel his hair backwards, he had to know how to paint, how to play several instruments, how to fight fencing, how to fight martial arts, how to keep posture, he had to learn how to ride a horse, and do those stupid trainings, he had to know archery, how to dance, how to clap, how to dress, how to speak, how to move, how to sit, how to eat, how to laugh...

Ever since he was born, his life was absolutely controlled by their ways of living, by their wants, and he couldn't want anything. As a child, innocent and naïve as he was, he ended up bring left in locked rooms alone for hours, left without food, beaten with belts and more, just to adjust to their petty way of living.

But it all got worst, way worst, after the burn.

Janus was ten when it happened. They were invited to a beneficent barbeque at a large field with several other rich families of the area. His parents would have never gone to such a low form of charity if it wasn't for the status it gave them, so there they were, all dressed up, ready to start whatever the charity event was. And just as any curious child would, Janus walked around, shy but determined to find something to play with, and soon he reached the grills, being controlled by the house chefs.

After standing around for a few minutes, one of the chefs called him closer, showing him how to turn the burger around. He did it a few times, smiling to himself, loving the little 'tsssss' sound the meat made when it touched the hot grill.

He kept helping the chef for a while, when something else called his attention. He saw another chef squishing a bunch of liquid inside a grill, and seconds later, bam, a huge fire came out. He gasped loudly and rushed closer, watching the blueish flames, not quite understand how that happened.

When the chef placed the bottle down and went to grab some meat, that was when his childish stupid nature came over. He grabbed the bottle, stood on his tiptoes and squished it into the grill.

Little did he know that he couldn't have done that when the fire was already burning.

Janus didn't even remember what happened next. He felt excruciating pain, and then nothing. Next time he woke up, he was inside a hospital room, his face wrapped in bandages, only his eyes and nose out. He was scared and confused, and his face and his whole left side ached and hurt deeply. It was horrible.

And even worst, his parents only came around sometimes to visit him, leaving him a baby sitter to make him company.

Janus found out he had been in the hospital in an induced coma for a month so he couldn't feel as much pain, and he had to stay another three months to be allowed out. His burnings were so ugly he had a few reconstructive surgeries after, but nothing was able to put his face back together the same way.

Luckily he didn't lose his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his senses, but his parents never looked at him the same way.

First of all, they blamed his curiosity, and second, they found him hideous. Janus heard them saying time and time again that a couple like them would never be respected with a child like him. He felt ashamed, he cried, and he knew his parents would never love him again, because he didn't have the face of an aristocrat man.

He was ugly. So so ugly, and he hated himself for it.

As he grew up, nothing helped. He was bullied in every single school, and they didn't care. He was bullied for his face mostly, at some point he even started wearing a mask, but that brought even more attention towards him, so he let his hair grow and tried to hide the scar tissue.

But there was no use.

And then, on second year of high school, he met Patton and Logan. And they were... fucking amazing. They were the best friends he had ever had, they weren't scared or ashamed to be seen around him, and they didn't care about his face. He felt truly welcomed with them.

But then, third year came. Dating Patton came. Fight with Patton came. And he knew he had to make a choice.

He couldn't be scared of his parents forever.

That summer was definitive. They would either accept him or hate him forever. And thus, he went home, and waited until they were out in their travels to tell them.

"Mother, father, I am gay, and I am in love with Patton Sanders, the humble boy from my school."

Oh, that was... the worst decision he ever made.

They cancelled the rest of the trip, and took him back to the US as soon as they could. They didn't speak to him, didn't allow him to eat dinner with them, locked his room up during the night, all of this before they returned. When they did return, they put him in a camp for homosexual children, one of the bad ones. He was shown pictures and movies of men and women having sex, was forced to have intercourse with the ladies at the camp, he was beaten, left without food, water, locked up in rooms whenever he disobeyed the rules.

And that was only for a month.

When he came home, his parents had his life sorted for him. They hired a professional make up artist that would make his face look perfect every day, no signs of the scars anymore. They payed a family to allow their younger daughter to be his girlfriend, one of the girls of the school, that he could spend all the time in and out of school with.

And they promised him, in their worst demonstration of power, that if he ever spoke to Patton or Logan again, if he came close to them, if he did anything but push them away, they not only would remove them from the school, they would end all and every chance they had anywhere in the country. They would shut all the doors for them, they would make them end up as retail workers for the rest of their miserable lives. They would ruin them, and it would all be Janus' fault for not obeying.

In the end, Janus succumbed to their wishes. He did what they wanted, and more. He forgot Patton and Logan, erased them from his mind, and moved on. He didn't want to suffer, and he didn't want them to suffer.

He just wanted the hatred to stop.

In the end, he broke up with the girl when he entered law school, like his parents wanted. He moved to another town, making them believe he would forever be their little perfect boy, and life turned out to be better than he always hoped.

\----------------------------

"In the end, I met Remus there. He was also doing law school because his parents wanted him to, and we became friends and then boyfriends and here we are today. My parents died in my last graduation year, and I inherited all their money and possessions. That's why I can maintain my usual life and be a history teacher at the same time."

Logan looked at him, by now all trace of anger and hatred gone from his face. To be honest, it was quite upsetting, the expression he was showing. With a shaky sigh, he reached out, offering his hand to Janus', who took it quite hesitantly.

"Jan... I mean, Janus..."

"You can call me Jan."

"Jan I... I didn't... well saying I didn't know would be an understatement... and I won't make you any of those cliché questions, 'why didn't you tell us', 'why did you suffer it alone', I think those are very well answered" he said, and his eyes met with his ex best friend's, lips pressing together. "I just... I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You couldn't have known and honestly, I expected a lot worst from you and Patton" Janus said, smiling and squeezing his hand. "You truly are a great friend Lo. And Pat is a fucking amazing person. You two grew up so much, I wish I could have been by your side as it happened."

"Well, you are now. And... and I forgive you. I forgive you a thousand times Janus. I know probably everyone has already told you this but... you didn't deserve any of that" Logan whispered, and Janus chuckled.

"I bet they would have said it if they knew" he said, and Logan's eyes widened.

"No... no one else knows?"

"No. Remus knows... some parts. Some things I have let out accidentally whenever I was drunk or upset. But this is the first time I tell the whole story, I mean, at least to someone that isn't my therapist" Janus chuckled, smiling at Logan, the expression so genuine that made Logan's heart ache.

"Janus..."

"You don't have to feel bad Logan. I grew up, I matured, and this helped me shape who I am today. I am over it..."

"No, no I..." Logan shook his head and stood up, walking around the table to stand in front of Janus. As soon as he turned to face the science teacher, he pulled the man in a tight hug, something that Janus wasn't expecting, but quickly responded, wrapping his arms around him.

"Lo..."

"I forgive you if you forgive me for the way I've been treating you. It hasn't been polite or professional."

Janus let out a chuckle and hugged his close friend tight, nodding to himself.

"Yeah Lo, I forgive you."

\------------------------------

Later that day, Roman went over to the tattoo shop, hopeful to find his brother working. He did find Remus there, but when he came closer to talk to him, the man smirked at his twin and lifted a can of beer.

"hey brother, fancy seeing you here" he said, and Roman accepted the beer a little confused.

"Hey Remus, I-"

"I know that whatever you wanted to talk to me about can wait until Friday. There is something very important that I want to announce, and I want you and your friends there" he said, smirking and sipping on the beer. "Besides, I am very busy today, can't babble much."

"But you're not-"

"Wonderful! See you at my house this Friday with all of your friends. See ya bro" he waved and walked inside his office, leaving Roman confused and curious in the store.

What... what did Remus want?

Only one way to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys thank you so much for commenting. I swear I was feeling kinda unmotivated these past days but after all your nice comments im all for it again! Thank you so much!


	22. Family fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Remus is a fucking asshole in this chapter

Well then. Another party, on Friday, in Remus' house, and this time they were all invited.

As the day arrived and they got themselves ready at Roman's place, Patton began to think if he wasn't being a bit too neglecting towards Thomas. He had been going to parties more often than not, spending way too much time with the others, and he just felt guilty...

Even though Thomas was growing up and loved his time alone.

"Guys, I'm finally ready, are you all ready?!" Roman asked as he made his way out of his bedroom. He looked... well a bit too much, but no one in the room was going to tell him that.

"Yes, we have been ready for an hour" Logan said, raising his eyebrow. "Also do you really need that much make up and high heels for this occasion?"

Well, someone said something.

"I always need to be looking my best to be around my brother. I can't trust him" Roman said, grabbing his wallet and phone and nodding to the door. "Come on, we don't wanna be late!"

"We are already late" Virgil mumbled before Roman pushed him towards the door, Patton and Logan following right behind, the four of them hopping inside Roman's car and taking off to the mansion again.

Patton could say he was... quite nervous. After all these months, his relationship with Janus wasn't like it was at that first party, and he was scared he was going to say something wrong or make the air tense. He didn't want to make this any more difficult than it already was, but now Roman and Virgil knew about everything, so that was somewhat a relaxing thought.

And luckily Logan seemed to be in a good mood.

Virgil, however, was not.

"I don't know how you're not suspicious Ro. A party, for the four of us? Your brother always plans something, this isn't some nice get together" he said, crossing his arms, and Roman sighed loudly as he kept driving.

"Virgil, believe me, in my head I've gone through a dozen thousand possibilities of what Remus could do, but I want to give him a chance! I want to talk to him, show him I changed, show him that we can go back to being what we were before! I really... I really wanna befriend him again Vee..."

"... I know you do. I'm just telling you to be careful" Virgil said, but Patton could sense he was hiding something. Virgil was never a good liar, and for some reason, he was trying very hard to be. He just hoped his friend wasn't hiding anything serious.

"If you are all so worried about this, let's make a deal" Logan said, suddenly, fixing his glasses. "If Remus makes anyone uncomfortable, we will leave together immediately. That way we will show support to each other and how we disliked his treatment."

"Sounds... fair" Roman said, a bit hesitant, and Virgil snorted.

"We don’t even have to go then. The only thing he knows how to do is to make people uncomfortable."

"Come on Virgil, you're going too far" Patton said, watching as the other man shrunk a little in his spot. "Just wait. You don't have to like him but you don't have to be such a pessimist all the time either."

With that, Virgil quieted down, and the rest of the drive was silent. Clearly everyone was nervous for their own reasons, and once Roman parked the car in front of the mansion, they all walked out and looked at each other.

"Well, here goes nothing" Roman said, walking forward and ringing the bell. After a second the porch opened, and they made their way inside, noticing that there was no loud music, no other people, no actual party happening.

"I think this is a private party, if you can even call it that" Logan said, and Virgil crossed his arms.

"I don't like this one bit."

As they approached the main entrance, the door opened and Remus walked out, followed by Janus, both of them smiling.

"Finally! You are late!" Remus said, walking to them and meeting them only a few steps away from the entrance. "Bro" he whispered, wrapping Roman on a hug that left the designer in complete shock. After pulling away, Remus tapped his shoulders and nodded for the rest. "Come on! Come inside! We have wine and fondue!"

"Hello" Janus said in his usual sultry voice, and walked inside before Remus, guiding the group towards the dining room. It was a place that had not been accessible during the last party, but that was now decorated for their visit, with places glasses of wine at their designated spots.

Janus sat at one end of the table, and Remus sat on the other. Roman and Logan sat next to Remus, opposite from one another, while Patton and Virgil sat closer to Janus, also opposites, best friend next to best friend.

"I'm so glad you all came" Remus said, snapping his fingers and waving for someone to come in. The maid came, and served them wine, while Virgil literally grimaced and stared at Remus like he was complete scum. After she left, he faced the older twin.

"You have a maid?" he whispered in anger, and Remus shrugged.

"Well yes. Don't worry, she is well paid, has all benefits she can have, and rests well. I'm very fair to my employees."

"You're disgusting" Virgil growled and Patton cleaned his throat.

"Virgil" he warned and then turned to Remus. "Thank you for having us here. Your house is very lovely."

"I'm glad you think so. Janus was the one that decorated all the rooms, he has fantastic taste" Remus said, raising his glass towards Janus, who rose his own back with a sly smirk, both toasting from far away and then sipping on their drinks. "But yes, of course I would have you here. My brother's friends are my friends too."

"Um... Remus, I actually... would like to talk to you about... things" Roman said, nervously, looking down at his glass and sighing softly to himself while Remus looked at him, awaiting. "I... Well first I would like to say that I'm... sorry for everything I did to you last time we saw each other. And second... I really want our feud to end" he sighed, gathering up all the courage he had and looking at Remus in the eyes. "I love you brother. I really want to reconnect."

For a split second, Remus looked extremely surprised and even scared of Roman's honesty, but the moment was quick. He smirked at him and nodded, raising his glass towards his brother.

"Me too. You and I have no more common enemies, and we shouldn't fight between our kind" he said, and Roman's eyes widened and a smile grew on his face.

"really?"

"Yes. I forgive you, and I want everything to be like it once was" he said, and Patton narrowed his eyes because that speech seemed too... written out to be honest. He looked at Logan, who also seemed suspicious, but he was only certain of his doubt when he looked at Janus: he seemed tense, ready to intervene, as if he was expecting something bad to come from that conversation at any second.

"Me too Remus" Roman whispered, truly heartfelt, and took a sip from his wine before chuckling to himself. "Can you imagine what mom and dad would think... oh. How are they? You spent your whole life with them, are they okay?"

"Well, brother dear, this is precisely the reason why I wanted you to come here this evening" Remus said, and Janus immediately squeezed his glass, looking at his boyfriend.

"Remus, don't" he said, and all the composure seemed to leave him. They all looked at Janus, confused, and Roman looked back at Remus.

"What is it?"

"Oh nothing brother dear, my boyfriend is being cautious that's all" Remus said, before too standing up and raising his glass. "I want to propose a toast!" he exclaimed, and everyone slowly and hesitantly rose their glasses. Patton saw the glance Remus sent to Janus, and how Janus' eyes seemed to get even angrier.

"Remus-"

"To our union, and the death of our progenitors!"

Remus swallowed down the whole liquid inside his glass, and the room fell into dead silence. It seemed like everyone needed a moment to process what had just been said, and when they did, they looked at Roman.

And he was... very still.

"Remus..." he whispered, his voice shakily a little bit "what... what do you mean?"

"I mean what I said brother!" Remus said, grinning widely. "Mother and father are dead. Six feet under. Gone."

No one knew what to say. Not even Janus, who seemed ready to tackle Remus, knew what to do. They all just stared as Roman remained silent, pressing his lips together, for a long time, as the thought sunk in and his eyes filled with tears.

"W-what?" Roman whispered, in such a soft, small voice, so unlike him and his loud, proud ways. And any decent person would have apologized, or at least sat down and stayed quiet.

But not Remus.

"They are dead Roman! Dead! Went from this world, gone! It's time to celebrate! We are finally fucking free!"

Remus smirked at Roman like a madman, waiting for a reaction, and got one. In a swift motion, Roman stood up and slapped Remus' face as hard as he could, making everyone else stand up immediately.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Roman yelled as Remus looked back at him with his face red and laughed. Janus ran over and grabbed Remus, pulling him aside, while Logan and Patton did the same but with Roman, making a protective barrier in front of him while Virgil stayed behind, holding the designer's hand. "When?! What happened?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

"Oh honey do you really think I would? Come on, you left me alone with those monsters and you thought I would let you know when mommy and daddy died?! They didn't give a shit about us, they didn't give a shit about you, and you're such a disappointment that I'm sure they wouldn't want you at their fucking funeral TRAITOR!" Remus yelled back, pushing against Janus but being somehow held back by his boyfriend. Roman growled and tried to go to him again, but Patton and Logan held him back.

"You had no right! You had no right, they are my parents too, I should have known, I should have fucking known!" Roman yelled, through his tears, trying to push against Logan and Patton until he started sobbing, holding onto them, looking at Remus with an expression that screamed broken heart. "Why didn't you tell me... when... when... what happened..."

"January and March of this year. Mom and then dad. They just... died. You know how old rich people are. They swallow too much of their own poison" Remus said, calmer now, but clearly still angry. "Besides you should thank me, because I didn't have to come and tell you. You didn't have the right to know. The disowned you, Roman. The day you left. You aren't part of the family anymore, you don't have anything to your name, you are nothing."

"I don't want anything" Roman said, wiping his eyes and sobbing softly. "I n-never did... I just wanted a h-happy family... I'm sorry I le-left you there. I'm sorry I abandoned you. But you di-di-..." he swallowed down and sighed shakily "you didn't have to... do this. You didn't have to humiliate me like this... you didn't have to hurt me like this... just tell me... tell me where they are buried..."

"Why? Are you going to fix your mistakes?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrow, but Roman shook his head.

"There's clearly n-no way of doing that anymore... I just want to tell them a proper goodbye..." he said, letting go of the others and wiping his own tears. "Please? Give me the address..."

"It's back at our hometown. At the church cemetery" Remus said, crossing his arms, and Roman nodded, wiping his eyes before handing the keys of his car to Logan and looking at his friends.

"I wanna be alone... go home... I'll call a cab" he whispered, and made his way out of the house, while the three others stared at him until he left. Once outside, they turned to Remus and Janus.

"Does anyone still wants to eat anything?" Janus asked, softly, and they all stared at him before Virgil walked forward, grabbing Remus and punching him on the eye with no holding back.

Patton and Logan ran to him to hold him back, but Virgil stepped away on his own and looked at Remus as he had fallen on the ground.

"Fuck you" Virgil said, before walking out. Logan followed him, to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid, and Patton looked at Remus on the floor and Janus standing next to him, clearly not about to do anything to help.

"I never thought I would ever say this to anyone... but I think there is always a first time" Patton said, taking a deep breath and looking at Remus deep in the eyes. "You are... disgusting. And if you ever come close to Roman again, I will make sure to get the police involved, no matter what it takes. And Janus" he looked up, staring at him "I never expected you to go so low."

After that, Patton made his way out, desperate to check on Roman but doing what he requested and taking the car with Virgil and Logan.

Logan left him and Virgil at their houses and assured Patton he would go talk to Roman.

And Patton was relieved, at least for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm gonna cry I have a test literally 50 minutes from the moment I'm posting this chapter and I wanna die.   
> You don't have to comment or anything I'm just venting.  
> Anyway chapter 24 is almost ready so I'm like being half able to keep stuff on schedule  
> Wish me luck because my teachers are insane and will be giving us 2 minutes per question in today's test and this involves intense reading and math, which I suck at  
> Anyway hahahah vent over hope you liked this chapter like and subscribe (kill me)


	23. Twins, Love and Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys can imagine what this chapter has lmao

"You went too fucking far Remus!"

"Oh come on, you're not going to lecture me on how I deal with my own stuff, are you Janus?" Remus asked, rolling his eyes, sitting down on the couch and turning on the video game. Janus stared at him angrily and walked over, shutting the electronics by pulling the plug and making Remus look at him.

"I'm not going to pretend nothing happened and leave you to it this time, Remus. You went so fucking far that I can't even see your reasoning after this shameful, horrible happenings! You were truly disgusting!"

"Suddenly you care so much about those four idiots. Why? Are your feelings coming back? Are you feeling sorry for them? Come on you don't even know my brother, how can you even care about what he feels or doesn't feel. This is all about Patton, how you will look in front of him" Remus said, but Janus walked to him and grabbed his shirt.

"No it isn't. This is about Roman, but specially, about you. He came here ready to put everything in the past, he came here to make amends, to tell you how much he wanted you two to have a normal relationship again, and that's how you treat him?! You complained so much about your parents Remus, but from what I know, you are acting exactly like them!"

"Take that back you bitch" Remus growled, standing up and grabbing Janus by the collar for his shirt, lifting him up just a bit. But Janus didn't seem scared in the slightest.

"Are you going to hurt me, Remus? Is that what you're going to do? Are you going to punch me, kick me, choke me? Because if so, you're only going to prove my point. You are rotten inside, with no want to go back to being good again."

"You talk as if you are so pure, Janus. Like you've never done something wrong. Like you didn't treat your friends like garbage, like you didn't abandoned everyone you knew, like you didn’t lie and hurt other people to get where you wanted" Remus said, letting go of Janus, but keeping his ground. "You have no idea what Roman leaving made me go through. You have no idea what that caused."

"Oh I can imagine. And I also can imagine why he left in the first place" Janus said, angrily. "If you hadn't given him reason, I don't think he would have ever left. From what I know, and it isn't much, he loves you dearly, and he regrets ever abandoning you. But you clearly have no regret over anything you did to him. Almost ruining his best friendship, shaming him in front of your parents, pushing him away, and now this ridiculous demonstration of power. Power over what Remus? What were you trying to prove? That your parents didn't love him? That they didn't care about him? That you will never be family again?" Janus shook his head and pulled away. "You are impossible. You disgust me. I'm going to bed, and don't you dare join me."

Remus gave him a simple shrug and connected the TV and video game again, while Janus made his way upstairs. He sighed loudly, taking off his clothes and laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling with the guilt filling him in.

Then he heard a phone making a noise and looked over. He thought it was his, so he reached for it, and when he saw it was Remus', he almost put it back down. But seeing the massage that popped up, he couldn't help his curiosity, unlocking the phone and looking at it.

'Virgil'

  * We need to talk – V



Janus raised his eyebrow, he didn't know Virgil had Remus' number. He moved the conversation up to see some older messages, his eyes widening as he slowly but surely put two and two together.

And of course, Remus couldn't help himself, even when it was messaging time.

Janus felt his blood boiling, throwing the phone away and almost rushing downstairs to slap Remus again. But no. He looked at the ceiling, heart racing and head a bit high because of the whole fight, before he reached to his own phone and texted the only person he could talk to at that moment.

  * I need to talk to you. Alone. Can I go over there tomorrow night? – J



After a few minutes, he got an answer.

  * Sure, Thomas will be sleeping over at a friend's... everything alright? – P
  * .. fine – J



\----------------------------

Roman walked all the way from Remus' mansion to his own house alone. They were so far away that he took around two hours to arrive, close to eleven, the night sky covering him as he held his own arms due to the light breeze. Winter was coming, and he felt that deep in his heart.

As he got inside his building, he sighed to himself, the tears already dry in his eyes and cheeks. He couldn't believe Remus had been so cruel, so cold and distant, so mean to him. He knew he had hurt Remus quite a lot, like a lot, but he had tried so hard to repair what he had made, while Remus just took all that progress and squished between his hands and destroyed everything they had.

He couldn't believe his parents were dead... he couldn't believe he wasn't there to the funeral, to give his last goodbyes, and now they were gone forever, and he couldn't ever apologize for what he did.

The tears rose again, clouding his vision as he opened the door and entered his apartment, hand moving up to wipe off the tears that threatened to fall. He was so tired, he just wanted to... disappear for a moment. Or for many moments. Or forever.

He closed the door and went right into the kitchen to check on his birds. He smiled as they peeped, most of them sleepy, and he pet the ones that liked being pet while just waving at the others. Then he made himself some tea, because he needed something to warm up, thinking about how lonely and sad he felt, how he was going to curl up on his bed and cry all night long.

Did he have theater classes next day? He couldn't remember.

It wasn't until he walked out of the kitchen towards the living room that he saw someone on the couch, waiting for him. His first reaction was to jump back, not expecting anyone to be there, but then he calmed down and wiped his tears again, looking at his guest.

"Lo, I told you I wanted to be alone" Roman said, softly, over his cup of tea, staring at the teacher as he looked back, patient, waiting.

"I heard your request, but since it was a stupid request, I decided to ignore it" Logan said, and Roman raised an eyebrow just slightly, not being able to hold back the tiny, shy smile on his lips.

"Are you semi-quoting Avengers?" he asked, and Logan smiled at him, nodding.

"I am aware that it is one of your favorite action movies" he said, before he tapped on the couch. "Please, sit down? I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I left you alone tonight."

"Lo..." Roman sighed, but made his way to the couch, sitting next to him and sipping on his tea. "In all honesty there's nothing you can do to help. Remus is... impossible and from what we heard, my parents are gone, so there's little to be done to ease my pain" he looked down at the liquid, warming his hands on the cup. "All is left to do is cry... and mourn."

"You are correct. However I thought it wouldn't be as bad if you had someone to be there for you while you do" Logan said, reaching out, gently holding Roman's knee. When their eyes met, Logan smiled. "Do you want to talk? About... anything?"

"... I really... loved him you know" Roman whispered, and then looked down, before looking up at the fireplace, as if he was remembering something.

_"When we were kids, we were... inseparable. Glued to the hip. Remus and I were two sides of the same coin, one couldn't be without the other. We played together, we slept together, we ate and danced and showered and did all those child things together. Our parents didn't want to have twins, they wanted one heir, to be perfect and get all of their fortune. But alas, they got two twin boys, Remus and I._

_Since we were little, Remus was always the wild one, while I was the shy, quiet one. Hard to believe that by now, but I was terrified of everything, while Remus loved playing, rolling on the grass, jumping on puddles, and I just watched and laughed because he was always very silly and I loved watching him be silly. Eventually he convinced me to try, and we started to play together, and he always protected me, from bugs, from frogs, from other kids... He was truly an older brother, even if he was ten minutes older than me._

_Of course as we grew, our parents began teaching us things they found important. We were homeschooled for a long time, until the last middle school year, and we were taught math and English and literature and sciences and all those important stuffs. I liked it, but Remus hated it. He wanted to play, to be active, and even when our parents gave us archery and horse riding lessons, Remus wanted to go beyond, to hunt, to run, things our parents despised._

_So since the very beginning, I was their favorite. I followed their rules, I liked studying, I respected the teachers, and thus they placed all their expectations on me, leaving Remus behind. I never abandoned Remus, but they stopped caring about him. They didn't call him for dinner, they didn't check his grades, they gave him no more classes, and he grew tired, he grew to hate them._

_Understandable, of course, but I never left him behind. We were glued to the hip still, and I held him there because I loved him. And when we were put in school, I made my parents put him there with me._

_In the first year of high school, we met Virgil. He was shy but I wanted to befriend him quite a lot. So I did. He became my best friend, but he and Remus never quite clashed well. Of course I would later find out it was because Remus had a massive crush on Virgil, to the point where he pretended to be me and all that story, and almost destroyed our friendship, but nevertheless, we three hang out a lot._

_But of course, after that happening between him and Virgil, I defended my friend, and he took it personally. We drifted apart, and unlike my parents ever thought, I moved out to fulfill my dream to become a designer. And in the end, Remus was the one left to do what they always thought I would."_

"I'm not surprised he hates me. He had to go to law school, he had to work hard, he had to gain their trust all because I abandoned them. And maybe it is too late to try again. But I never thought I would lose hope like I did right now" Roman whispered, finally turning back towards Logan, his eyes teary. "I love him, Lo. I love him so much. He is part of me, we are brothers, we are twins. We have a connection. And yet he... he hurt me so badly..."

"Bad enough for you to give up on him?" Logan asked, and Roman let out a wet chuckle, shaking his head.

"I don't think he will ever be able to hurt me enough for that."

"Then great. Take some time, take a breath, and go again" Logan said, holding Roman's hand. "If you want, I will go to your hometown with you. We can spend a week there, relax, until you are feeling better, and then come back and you can try again. If you never give up, one day, he will put his walls down."

"You... want to go with me?" Roman asked, surprised, and Logan's eyes widened and he blushed a bit, but nodded.

"Yes I do. I don't want you to go alone."

Roman smiled, placing his mug down, and then wrapped his arms around Logan, pushing his face against his shoulder as the teacher slowly but surely hugged back.

"I don't know what I would do without you Lo" he whispered, breathing him in, and Logan took the moment to close his eyes and take Roman in as well, the warmth of his hug, the sweet smell of his cologne, the feeling of being in his arms.

"You would do great" he whispered against Roman's hair. "You are... incredible Roman."

They stayed quiet after that, embraced for a long time, before they finally broke away and decided to wrap themselves with a blanket and watch some movies together. They held hands underneath everything, both too shy to talk about it, but their fingers intertwined and stayed like that even after they ended up falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all, i'm still a bit too overwhelmed to answer some comments but I promise I will so keep them coming!


	24. We fight, we make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)

morning, the birds sang and nature began working on photosynthesis, even if the six of them were feeling like life should have stopped for a moment so they could gather their thoughts.

Logan and Roman ended up falling asleep on the couch, and when they woke up, things were a bit awkward but they moved past it quite quickly. Logan cooked them some breakfast while Roman fed and cleaned his birds, all of them singing happily. They ate breakfast together, talked, and things seemed to slowly fall back to normal for them.

Virgil, on the other hand, barely caught any sleep. After sending the message to Remus, he waited an answer that only came 9 am, while he was opening his flower shop. As soon as he received it, he opened it, and narrowed his eyes.

  * Wherever you want Vee – Re



He almost lost it, but took a deep breath and closed the store. He wouldn't be opening today.

  * Come to my store now – V



And he did. Half an hour later, Remus showed up, sporting his usual tank top to show off his tattoos, his ripped jeans, his boots, all that good shy. He even had a smug smile on his face that made Virgil almost kill him in the spot.

"Hey Vee, not planning on opening the store today?" he asked, and Virgil closed and locked the door after Remus entered, before pushing him back against the window. "Wow so aggressive..."

"Fuck you Remus. Fuck you. Fuck you so fucking much I fucking hate you you're such a piece of shit I just want to cut your throat with my gardening scissors" Virgil growled, pushing him again, and this time Remus didn't smirk, he frowned.

"What is this about? Why are you so angry at me?"

"Wh-oh my fucking god Remus! You're so fucking full of shit!" Virgil cried out, angry now, pushing him again and grabbing his shirt. Virgil was many inches smaller than Remus, but he was so angry he didn’t care. "After what you did to Roman last night did you really fucking think I would be cool with it?! If I knew you were hiding that, if I knew you would be such a disgusting worm to him, I would have never allowed anything between us to happen!"

"Oh Vee don't be like that" Remus cooed, holding his hands. "It isn't like you can hold yourself from me..."

"I'm not a mindless animal like you. I can control myself" Virgil said, pulling away and looking at Remus with disgust. "You are so... gross. Repugnant. Your parents were right about you, you don't deserve anything. You are nothing. You're just a chewed gum someone threw on the floor to annoy whoever stepped on it. I can't even find what to compare you to because even the most vile, useless, disgusting creatures on earth are more valuable than you" he said, before he shook his head. "You're worth nothing... get out. Don't come back here. Don't talk to me. Never even think about me. I can't believe I touched you..."

"You little..." Remus growled, walking to him and grabbing Virgil by his coat, pushing him against the table behind him and making him groan in pain as his back hit against it. "You're no fucking better than me! You are nothing but an abandoned orphan that not even your family wanted, nevertheless any other family because you never got adopted! You are lucky Roman had pity of you or else you would be begging for money on the streets by now, addicted to crack and dying of hunger! Or even better, you would have been fucking dead."

"You are so weak and vulnerable, Remus. You think you are so big with your muscles, so badass with your tattoos, but inside you're just a scared little boy afraid of being left behind, afraid of being abandoned, afraid of everything out of your control" Virgil said, and when Remus growled, he chuckled. "Go ahead. Punch me. Hit me. Choke me. Do whatever you want. I don't care. It will just prove how weak you truly are."

Remus' eyes were filled with rage, and he couldn't help himself. He pulled Virgil away from the table and pushed him on the ground, hard, before turning around and leaving. Virgil fell and hit his back and elbow, groaning in pain, but nothing that wouldn't just bruise. He watched as Remus left, wishing he could just wipe all the memories of them together out of his mind.

He couldn’t believe he had slept with such a fucking monster.

\--------------------------------

The rest of the day went by and of course, Patton was nervous. Thomas finished packing his bag around two in the afternoon, waving to Patton as Joan's parents stopped in front of his house with their car, Joan waving from inside. Patton gave Thomas a kiss on the head and watched as he happily got inside, they were going to watch a movie and then sleep over at Joan's, which was something that happened very often, so Patton wasn't slightly worried.

Joan was a good kid, and their parents were amazing, so he had nothing to worry about.

Besides, of course, Janus coming over.

After all those happenings from the last night, Patton had called Roman to make sure he was okay, and thanks to Logan he was. Patton couldn't be more thankful, but having Janus come over after such a tense event wasn't making anything easier.

So he did what he did best when he was nervous, and cleaned the house.

Janus would be arriving around seven, so Patton had some time to at least clean the places he would be in well. The living and dining room and the kitchen, and the little bathroom downstairs. Then, he started making dinner, something else he did to push his nerves away, preparing some good mushroom risotto with some appetizers, all to make him calmer.

He just hoped Janus wasn't coming over to... well, talk about something bad.

Patton was almost finishing the risotto when the doorbell rang. He walked quickly, opening the door and smiling to Janus, inviting him in and rushing back to the kitchen.

"Sorry! Make yourself at home! I'm just finishing dinner, this is the most important step, I can't stop until it's over!" he said, and Janus just hummed, getting inside the house. Once it was done, Patton served them some risotto and the sides, and placed it all on the dining table, together with a nice white wine he had. "Dinner is ready!"

"Thank you Patton, you didn't have to" Janus said, walking closer and sitting where Patton showed him, looking down at the risotto. It looked beautiful. "You sure improved your cooking skills."

"I had to. Having a kid make you want to be healthier" Patton said, chuckling and sitting in front of Janus, smiling nervously. He was not very comfortable. "Well, bon appetite" he said, and began to eat. Maybe like that he wouldn't have to make up any conversation topics.

Janus took a bite, but his eyes didn't leave Patton, even when he took a sip from his wine. Patton was growing uncomfortable, his cheeks burning as he distracted himself with his food.

"Can we... talk?" Janus asked, calmly, and Patton nodded, looking up at him.

"Yes of course. What do you want to talk about?"

The history teacher raised an eyebrow before taking a deep breath through his nose and lifting his glass of wine to his eyes.

"First... about last night" he said, calm and sultry as he always sounded. "I know I shouldn't be apologizing to you, since it wasn't you that my... boyfriend hurt, but I would still like to apologize anyway, because he did leave a tension between all six of us."

"Well that he did... and I forgive you, although you should indeed be apologizing to Roman" Patton said, and Janus gave him a short nod.

"You are right, and I will... I feel really bad about how Remus treated him. Remus was awful, no one deserved that."

"No, no one did" Patton said, suddenly feeling a little less tense since Janus had come over to apologize. "But is this why you wanted to come over tonight? Because, I don't know, it doesn't seem like something you would do."

"Well Patton, like you said before, we all changed" Janus said and smiled softly. "I wanted to make sure you were fine and hear from you how the others are feeling, since I'm not that close to them. But I'm sure we can finish that talk after dinner."

"Yes, of course" Patton smiled, turning back to his risotto and drinking some more wine. "I don't think I've ever done something this good before."

"Oh I'm glad you only do your best when I'm around."

"Janus!" Patton giggled and shook his head. "You're so silly!"

Dinner went amazingly well. The longer they talked, the longer they drank wine and got themselves some warm food in their bellies, the more they felt comfortable towards each other. It was weird because Patton never thought he would be able to have a normal conversation with Janus again, specially while they were alone, but he was happy he was wrong, because the man in front of him still held most of the qualities of his old friend.

"So yes, I ended up going to law school can you imagine? I even worked as a prosecutor for a while, gosh it was the worst" Janus said, smiling as Patton served him some more wine, the second bottle they had opened, this time, a dry red wine. "You have some good vintages here I thought you were like... humble."

"You can say poor, I don't mind" Patton snorted and sat down next to Janus in front of the lit fireplace. The breezes of November were already cooling the air. "Yeah wine is like Roman's favorite gift to give people so I have a bunch. Every father, mother, birthday and Christmas days I get a bottle from him, and I don’t tend to drink by myself or around Thomas, so I have quite the collection."

"You are trying to keep a good impression around your kid, that's adorable. So you" Janus said, smiling and poking Patton's nose. Neither of them would be so comfortable around each other if it wasn't the alcohol in their veins, but they weren't thinking too much about it. "By the way... how? I know you always wanted a family but how did you get a kid so alike you? He's basically your copy!"

"It's because he is my son" Patton giggled and Janus raised his eyebrow.

"Pat, honey, I get it. You adopted a white little boy. But that's still impossible to happen."

"I didn't adopt, he's my biological son" Patton said, grinning, and Janus' eyes widened.

"I didn't know you had the money for a surrogate... is that why you're poor?"

"Not a surrogate either" he chuckled, and Janus' surprise turned almost into horror. "He's my son with my first and last girlfriend whom I haven't seen in years! Since Thomas was born in fact."

"You... wait... hold on" Janus said, putting his glass down and staring at Patton. "You had a girlfriend? You?"

"Yes! In my first year of college! I thought I was bisexual at that time and well, I wanted to try out with a girl after, you know, our little fiasco. So I did and first time we did it, she got pregnant. It was quite the journey, she didn’t want a kid, but since it was illegal and extremely dangerous, she decided not to abort, and I got a baby!"

"You... took care of Thomas all by yourself? For all these years?" Janus whispered, his surprise and horror turning into... some kind of guilt, a strange pain in his heart. But Patton didn't seem to mind at all, his smile still wide.

"Yeah! Mothers do that all the time and she and I didn't work out so I took Thomas and raised him. And honestly, Logan helped quite a lot. I swear I would have married him if we weren't best friends. Logan is so cool and amazing and I love him so much" Patton sighed, almost like a teen in love, reaching for a pillow and hugging it before he gasped. "I have so many photos of Logan with Thomas when he was a baby! Do you want to see it?"

"No..." Janus whispered, and held Patton's wrist, watching his smile slowly fade as he looked down at his hand. They were silent, for a second, and Janus could feel Patton's heartbeat in the tip of his fingers. "You are... such... a beautiful person Patton... You are... like a bright star in the sky... I can't... believe what I did to you."

"It's... in the past Janus... I forgave you" he whispered, but Janus moved closer, his eyes shifting from Patton's to his lips. "Jan..."

"I... I'm so sorry..."

"Janus" Patton whispered, placing his glass down and pressing his hand against the man's chest. "Stop... you have a boyfriend and I..."

"It's an open relationship" Janus whispered, their eyes locking again, and Patton swallowed thickly.

"It's been so long... too long..."

"If you don't want me, say it, and I'll stop" Janus said, leaning closer, looking at Patton, who pressed his lips towards and swallowed thickly again. "Tell me and I'll stop."

"... Jan..."

"Tell me to stop."

"I-I can't..."

Janus ended the space between them, closing his eyes, tilting his head and pressing his lips against Patton's. And Patton followed suit, the hand on Janus' chest holding the fabric, pulling him closer, his eyes closing as well, sigh leaving his nose, the kiss chaste and warm and bringing back so many feelings that neither of them could quite explain.

If they broke apart for air, neither of them noticed, because as soon as it happened they were kissing again, this time less chaste, this time hotter, Janus' hands reaching for Patton, Patton's arms wrapping around the other's neck, mouths moving, opening and closing, sucking and licking, teeth clashing, air hot and moist between their faces, bringing back everything they had forgotten.

Or thought they had forgotten.

And when Patton moved, straddling Janus, sitting on his lap like he used to do when they were stupid kids and in love, both of them knew there was no going back. Their minds, foggy by the wine and the unresolved feelings for each other didn't have time to even acknowledge that rational thoughts existed.

Before they knew it, clothes were being removed, fabrics were being shed, and Patton was guiding Janus upstairs towards his room, with no second thoughts, no regrets, just want and love spilling out of every pore he had, every hole in his mind being filled with that need of being with his first love again.

And Janus wasn't feeling any different, even if his actions had that in mind, even if he had planned this evening to go exactly like that, he never planned to get himself lost in the feeling of Patton's warm skin, the way he squirmed away when something tickled him that sent a burst of happiness into Janus' soul, or how soft he had turned over the years, and big too, with larger shoulders, broader chest...

They were lost in one another, and like that they stayed the whole night, until their ages caught up and they found themselves falling asleep, tired, sweaty, and oh so satisfied, with a new spark in their hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))))))))))))))))))))))


	25. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: this chapter contains abuse in all forms, child abuse, elderly abuse, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of fights, mentions of sex. 
> 
> you guys can guess who this chapter is about.

They were all hurting. In some way, in some form, they were all feeling a lot of pain.

But none of their pain came any close to what Remus felt.

Regret was not a word in his vocabulary. He never regretted anything. He didn't regret when he destroyed his mother's dress when he was eight, because she kept yelling at him all day long. He didn't regret burning his father's favorite book when he was five, because he spanked him and hurt him every single day. He didn't regret fooling Virgil like he did back in high school, because Virgil was rude, annoying and hot, and Remus wanted to get back to him for making himself feel like shit. He didn't regret his tattoos, the drugs he used, the fights he had, the amount of scars he possessed, the countless times he was hospitalized, he didn't regret going to law school, learning about how to get out of a situation, he didn't regret fucking the whole school, screwing his teachers for grades, dating Janus for status, abandoning his parents, pursuing his own dreams of turning into a tattoo artist, he didn't regret anything in his life ever, because he believed, in his mind, he had suffered enough that no matter what he did, how many people he hurt, how much shit he got himself into, none of that mattered because it was all justifiable.

And it was... it was...

As Remus looked up from his phone, he sighed, looking around the house he had bought with the money he got from his parents. He wanted to burn that money, he wanted to erase every single thing that reminded him of them, he hated them with a passion unknown to mankind. Truth was, and nobody knew, and nobody would ever know, that they hadn't simply died from... natural causes. No, Remus had a part on it. Not direct, of course, he wouldn't murder his parents, but he was negligent, he didn't care if they took meds or not, he didn't take them to the hospital, he didn't do shit unless they were about to die and if anyone came to their house they would think he was negligent.

He got pleasure from watching his father choke whenever he needed his respirator, and made sure to take it slowly to him, watching him beg for the item until it was finally at his hands. He loved to see how sick his mother got when he bought her cakes and sweets and she ate them despite being diabetic, almost dying countless times out of her own... lack of self-control.

He would never regret watching them suffer. It was like vengeance. His own sweet little vengeance.

If anyone knew of this, they would think he was absolutely insane. And perhaps he was. Some may even think he was a sociopath, which sure, he could see it. But no one had found out, and he loved it. He loved the power of no one knowing how much he made the people that abused him suffer.

So no. Regret was not in his vocab. Yet.

Because whatever he was feeling at that moment, when he was alone, at his house, staring at the fireplace, that was something he had never felt before.

Virgil would never talk to him again. The emo florist had never shown so much disgust and hatred towards him before, not even when he found out about his little scheme back in the day. Patton and Logan, those stupid guys that Virgil walked with, they wouldn't talk to him either, but truly he didn't care. They were stupid, idiots, and didn't deserve his time nevertheless. And Janus, well, he was an incognito. He may be mad forever, he may forget, it was impossible to know, Remus would have to wait and see.

He didn't care about being alone though, so whatever.

But if he didn't care, why did it hurt so much?

Well, there was still someone he hadn't considered, but if truth was being told, he didn't want to think about it. No, he didn't want and didn't have to think about him. He didn't deserve his time, his thought, his analyses.

Except...

Remus growled and threw his phone away, into the wall, before pressing his hands against his face and rubbing them. No, no, NO! No! He wasn't going to think about it, he wasn't going to second guess his decision, he wasn't going to regret what he did! No!

"He abandoned me too, he doesn't deserve my pity, he doesn't deserve my sadness, he doesn’t deserve my regret, I hate him I HATE HIM!" he yelled, to no one, to everyone, he didn't know. In a fit of rage, he stood, slamming his foot into the television and destroying it, breaking it, cracking it. It didn't help, so he grabbed the lamp and threw it at the wall, pushed the coffee table and turned it upside down, he kicked the couch and broke everything he could find.

Nothing helped. Nothing filled up the emptiness inside him, nothing eased his pain.

He pulled his hair, tight, hard, and for the first time since he was a child, since he was around ten, his eyes teared up.

He never allowed himself to cry, not after what his father did last time he cried, the scars of the beating still on his back to remind him of the awful, awful moment they shared. The inability to keep a door closed no matter when out of fear someone would lock it and he wouldn't be able to eat, to drink, to leave, stuck inside the small room alone. The need to shower with cold water even during winter, out of the memories of his mother pushing him into a bathtub with almost boiling water, wanting to wash off the sins from his body.

So many things he couldn't explain, things that just filled him with rage, with anger, with hatred and disgust, but that now seemed to only bring one thing... sadness.

Regret.

When he opened his eyes again, letting go of his hair, bringing some strands with his hands, he looked forward, emotionless. He made his way from the living room to the attic, three sets of stairs up, and turned on the lights, seeing the neatly placed boxes. They were just starting to dust, six months since he had moved, so unlike his last house where they had almost molded up with no use.

He approached them, not having touched them since the moving, remembering how for a second he considered burning them all down, starting new, starting from the zero, but not being able to follow through. Part of him was glad now, that he hadn't.

Remus sat down next to the boxes, taking a smaller one first and opening it up. It was filled with trinkets, nothing too special or expensive, but things that brought memories to him. Inside were the coins, the sticks, the leaves, stones, dried flowers. Things that his parents would have thought was foolish to keep, but that brought him the happiest memories.

In a corner, hidden under a rock, was a little pearl, and Remus picked it up, remembering like it had been yesterday, when he found it. His brother had always been a fan of shiny rocks, so when Remus accidentally found a clam by the shore, and opened it to find a pearl, he rushed to him and gave him the little ball.

He remembered the sparkle in his eyes.

Putting that box aside, Remus reached for another, one filled with photo albums. He looked through them quickly, his parents were never good at capturing truly happy moments, only those that brought some status over their family. He put the box aside, and reached for the next, opening it to see the many stuffed toys he had kept over the years, now dusty, dirty, but still... perfect, in a way.

He saw all of his stuffed toys, dismantled, rebuilt, destroyed in some way. He laughed as he remembered how much of an aggressive child he was. And he could see the others, the ones that weren't his, in pristine state, with their hairs brushed and their clothes perfect.

Remus opened almost all boxes that night, going through the memories he had uncovered out of his horrible feeling of regret. Out of the sadness he felt. And as he looked through everything, he found a box with his own favorite things as a kid: his teeth, which he found gross and amusing; his favorite rock; a bird feather; a rat skull; and a little music box. He looked at it surprised, and opened the music box, wondering if he still remembered the song from it. He didn't remember having a music box in the first place.

Upon opening, it played a song, a sweet little piano melody he wasn't familiar with. And if it was just for the song, he would be sure it wasn't his. But then he saw a small paper folded inside, and took it, seeing how it looked somewhat old, but not too much.

He unfolded the paper, and his eyes widened as he started to read it.

_'Dear Brother. I write this to you because I know, one day, hopefully soon, you will find it and understand why I did what I did._

_As I find the words to complete this letter, I am currently packing everything to leave. Yes, leave, with Virgil. As you probably know, our lives with our parents has become too much for you or I to handle, so I have decided to take matters in my own hands, and I hope you do it too, as soon as possible._

_I am aware that you hurt Virgil and that has made me extremely upset, of course, he is my best friend. But you are my brother, and I understand where that came from. I am sorry he couldn't see the amazing, wonderful person you are, because I don't and will never love him as much as you do. And yes, I know you do. I am your twin, I know things._

_Still, Virgil and I will be moving, and I hope you do the same. I will give you the address of our new place at the end of this letter, with the hopes that soon you will pack your bags and come live with us. I know you and Virgil won't be happy together, but I also know he would never deny you a place to sleep, specially because he knows how much we suffered by the hands of our parents._

_Whether you will come or not, I'm uncertain, but I hope you do, and quickly, because spending my life without you will be like having an arm and a leg amputated. You and I are close, despite our differences, and I love you dearly brother._

_I am sorry I couldn't tell you this on person, I believed you were still too upset with me to do so. But I hope that whenever you find this, it won't be too late, and you will be able to come and share with me the amazing adventure Virgil and I are about to start._

_In any case, just know, Remus, that I love you beyond everything, and as a prof of that, I am leaving you my absolute favorite possession, my music box. Yes, it is the one grandma gave to me in her dying bed when we were three, and I love it very much, so please, keep it as a token of my love for you, so even if you decide not to come be with us, you will always know I am by your side, loving you, like a good brother and twin should._

_I hope to see you soon brother._

_With love, Roman.'_

If Remus' eyes were teary before, now, they were dripping. The tears slid down his face and fell into the paper in his hands, as the song slowly stopped, leaving the room in complete silence, all while Remus' heart broken in a billion of little pieces.

A sob made its way out of his mouth and he closed his eyes, pressing the letter on his chest and covering his face the best he could with his free hand. It hurt, it hurt so much, he had never felt so much pain in his entire life, and it was all his own fault. It was all his fault.

How, how was he going to fix this?!

He didn't know. He curled up in the attic, crying until he had no tears left, listening to the music box until he ended up asleep on the floor, holding the paper close to himself. He was so tired, of fighting, of hurting other people, of hating himself, and now, everything seemed to culminate to an awful ending.

Roman would never forgive him. Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this today because chaptter 25 was supposed to be the one i wrote yesterday but cronologically it makes sense to post this one first.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


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